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Annoying Television
Faked-up Primetime "News" Shows. Is there any night of the week that
doesn't have Dateline? Can't we put the old stars of 60 Minutes out to
stud? Doesn't anybody else catch on that these shows are exactly as real
as Geraldo -- with the difference that on 60 Minutes the empty vault
would have been presented as an astonishing discovery by brave
reporters. These primetime news shows are always about one thing: The
reporter as hero. And you know something? There are no hero reporters
on television. Peter Arnett's humiliation on that Time-CNN debacle is
only the latest example of the fact that the on-air "personalities" are not
real reporters, they're just news readers with big egos, who are more
interested in "story" than in facts. These shows are always wrong,
because they always skew everything toward the hero-reporter story.
The Donny and Marie Show. Donny, we love you, but lose the girl.
Phone Company Commercials. Never has so much airtime been wasted on
such pathetically small or nonexistent savings. The worst of them, of
course, remains MCI, the alltime champion of ugly, mean-spirited
advertising -- and with Burger King and Visa in the running, that's a
hard record to maintain.
Network News. Come on, guys. Does every story have to be portentous and
shallow at the same time? Can't you, now and than, actually hire people
with enough intelligence to hold onto an idea more complicated than
wondering how the next question will make them look? Above all, do we
have to listen to Sam Donaldson prove his intellectual deficiencies and
George Will show off his intellectual self-delusions every week?
Ads That Run Too Often. There's no commercial so good that we need to see
it twice in the same show. There's no commercial so clever that it stays
entertaining the three hundredth time we see it.
Politically Incorrect. The phoniest show on television. Bill Maher is the
epitome of pathetically needy political correctness. Rightwing guests are
invited only to be scorned. There is more stupidity and dishonesty per
minute on this show than on any other show on television except when
the White House addresses the nation.
Best Television Non-Event of 1998
Two words: No NBA!
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