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Rebekah
I Deaf Man's Daughter
Chapter 3
It was after dark when at last Rebekah was summoned to Father's tent a servant's
whisper at her tent door, so as not to waken anyone else in the camp, and by the time she hurried
outside, no one to be seen.
We will do this in stealth, in darkness, in silence, thought Rebekah. The marriage plan
will unravel, but there will never be a quarrel that Ezbaal might hear.
Father, Laban, and Pillel were all waiting in his tent, their faces barely visible in the light
of a single lamp that flickered with every movement of an arm or leg that might start the wick
bobbing in the oil. Laban greeted her with a raised eyebrow, though what he meant by it
Rebekah could not guess. Pillel was made of stone. But Father ... could it be tears shimmering
in his eyes?
The lamp had been set on the exposed dirt where people wrote things to Father. Pillel
handed her a stick polished smooth by the grip of many hands. But Rebekah wrote nothing, for
she knew that Pillel and Laban would have already discussed the issues with Father, and she
dared not speak until she knew where Father stood.
"Ezbaal will let you serve God. A generous man, I think," said Father. "His women gave
him a good report of you. He asks to marry you, and I have said "
"No!" cried Rebekah. Could he possibly have given consent already, without speaking to
her first?
He could not hear her, but he could see her face and knew what she said. "I have said that
I will find out what is in your heart. You will find no nobler, braver, richer, stronger man in the
world than this one. But now that I am faced with losing you, I find that it's a bitter thing indeed
to watch you go. No man has had a better daughter, and I will feel impoverished and lonely
without you in my camp."
"Then you'll be happy," she wrote, "for I won't marry him."
"What?" asked Laban. "Have you lost your mind?"
Pillel said nothing, but she could feel his contempt for her just the same. Pillel believed
that everyone should fulfil his role and keep to his place certainly he did and he had no use for
those who refused, as she was refusing.
"Rebekah, you have to marry sometime," said Father. "You have children of your own to
bear, your own household to govern now. I've kept you here too long."
Her previous words were still there in the dirt, and now she added, "Because he will never
let me raise my children to serve God."
Father's expression darkened. "Ah, God, now in my old age thou sendest my own words
back to me."
Rebekah did not know what he was talking about. "What?" she wrote.
Grimly Father shook his head, and then spoke carefully, choosing his words. "When I
was a younger man, I thought I would be another Abraham. I learned to read the holy writings, I
felt the birthright like an angel leaning over my shoulder. I could not tolerate the slightest
impurity wasn't it vital that I prepare my household to be the dwelling place of the Lord?" He
interrupted his own story and looked at Rebekah. "The way you are now. So sure that you know
what the will of God must be."
Rebekah wrote in the dirt: "I know what you taught me."
To her surprise, Father snatched the stick out of her hands and scratched out her words so
vigorously that a cloud of dust rose within the tent. "The kingdom of God is not a walled city,"
he said, "with guards to keep strangers out and citizens in. The kingdom of God is an open tent,
with room in the shade for all who seek shelter."
Rebekah reached again for the stick. "And when the wind blows?" she wrote.
"It was just a parable!" Father said impatiently. "It doesn't have to be correct at every
point! I'm teaching you, or have you forgotten who is the father here?"
These words left Rebekah trembling. She would never be disrespectful to her father, and
yet her father was trying to tell her that she should marry Ezbaal, and she knew she knew that
she could not obey.
How did she know? she wondered. How could she be so certain? All day she had
thought of reason after reason why the marriage must not happen, and then as the reasons were
stripped away, a new reason came into her mind, but always with the same foregone conclusion:
She must not marry Ezbaal.
Was this nothing but a young girl's fear? No, she knew it was not. She had never been
timid about doing what must be done, and even though she dreaded marriage for many reasons,
she also knew that it was her duty, and she knew there could never be a better match than this
one. It was an honor to her family that Ezbaal had come to them, and it would bless her father's
house to be tied to such a man as he. And she knew she had nothing to fear from him, compared
to many other possible husbands. Life in Ezbaal's house would be good even with his crotchety
grandmother constantly criticizing her. She would win the old woman's heart in due time. This
marriage was a good one; there could not be a better one. She was not afraid.
And yet she could not say yes. Why not? What was holding her back?
She closed her eyes and spoke silently to God. Is my father right? Can I teach my
children to love thee even though their father will worship other gods?
Immediately she felt herself filled with a sense of emptiness, as if the spark of joy within
her had fled.
O God, she thought again, it will embarrass my father to refuse this great man's offer and
cost him many good things. It might make an enemy of Ezbaal. How can I refuse something so
important to my family? It is my duty to my father to marry Ezbaal.
This time the very strength of her body fled, leaving her feeling faint, her eyes
momentarily darkened.
"O God, don't let thy spirit flee from me!" she cried aloud.
Father, watching her, saw that she spoke without writing, and demanded of Laban and
Pillel, "What? What did she say?"
But Rebekah made no move to reassure him, for she now understood that she was in a
dialogue with God. And then, having realized this, she realized that she had been in this
conversation all day. Each time her last reason for refusing Ezbaal was taken away, a new one
came with even more certainty, and yet she had never once thought, till now, that this very
certainty was part of the answer. When God speaks in a woman's heart, she realized, he fills her
with courage to do his will. That is why I have been in such torment today. God is trying to lead
me in a path that neither my family nor Ezbaal's family can see.
Lord God of Abraham, she said silently, tell my father what you are telling me! Let me
not be alone in this!
She looked into her father's eyes, seeing his expression of concern for her, and saw that
there was something else as well. He was as torn as she.
God had already spoken to him and showed him what was right.
She knew it with utter certainty, and so she boldly wrote, "You already know what God
wants me to do. Why do you try to persuade me to choose between God's will and yours?"
Pillel reached out a hand and took the writing stick from her. She looked at his face as
passionless as ever but knew that he was angry, or he would not have, in effect, forbidden her to
speak more to her father.
Laban was not so restrained. He laughed. "What, you think you're a prophet now? Able
to see into the mind of God, and Father's mind as well?"
But Rebekah turned away from them and faced her father, staring into his eyes and daring
him to deny what she knew he knew.
At first he was defiant, meeting her gaze angrily but he said nothing, even though he
opened his mouth as if to speak. And after a long silence he looked down at the ground where
she had written her challenge.
"Yes," Father said. "I know that you can't marry Ezbaal. Even though I will never find
you a better marriage than this one, I have known from the moment he arrived that you could not
be happy in his house."
Pillel and Laban both recoiled from his words. "What's going on with you two?" said
Laban in a whisper.
Pillel also whispered, but he meant her to hear. "I see now that you do control him."
Control him? What could Pillel possibly mean by that? Had there been some rumor that
somehow she ruled over her father? But of all people Pillel had to know such an idea was
absurd. She didn't have time to deal with him now, though.
She knelt up, reached out, and took her father's hands in hers, bowed over them, and
kissed them. Then, taking the writing stick, she answered him. "God will provide a husband for
me, if I am to marry."
Pillel reached for the stick and wrote in large letters, "Ezbaal will make a dangerous
enemy."
Father frowned. "Just because a man is disappointed in love ..."
Pillel wrote quickly. "He goes home. Rumors fly. He's embarrassed. He gets angry. He
needs to restore his pride. He looks for chances to hurt you. The wound festers."
Father shook his head, but Rebekah knew that Pillel was right.
"Soon the slightest offense becomes a pretext for war," the steward wrote.
"He came for a marriage," Rebekah said to Pillel. "So let him go home having made
one."
Pillel looked at her as if she were crazy. "Who else would be worthy to marry Ezbaal?"
Father slapped lightly at Pillel's hand. "Write, don't talk. I want to hear this."
Rebekah took the stick from Pillel. "Ezbaal brought his sister, the one who calls herself
Akyas," she wrote. "She was married once, but no longer, and you are also unmarried."
Father laughed. "Me?"
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