1. Write a 13 line hooky intro. Explanation here of how to ensure yours is 13 lines. If it is longer it will get cut by KDW.

2. Write to the prompt. We are flexible, but it should be there...somewhere!

3. Post your intro using the format identified in this
thread. Please don't post anything but entries on that thread.

4. All entries posted by midnight of Friday 8th April(GMT). Voting opens on Saturday 9th April.

5. If you wish your entry to anonymous (until the reveal at the end) then email me with your Hatrack name and your story FORMATTED exactly as it needs to be to posted. By that I mean if want italics then use the code, and make sure I can just cut and paste it into a post without any more fiddling...Be aware, if you send it to me and I post it and then you want to change something you won't be able to.

6. Guidance for voting: when voting is open you will be asked to vote for your top 3 stories. Please take into account smoothness of prose, desire to read more, adherence to the prompt.

You are not allowed to vote for your own.

You may post comments about the intros (encouraged) but this isn't obligatory.

If you fail to vote you will be disqualified and your votes will trickle down (if someone voted you first then your 5 points goes to whoever they voted for second).

When voting opens, vote before looking how others have voted. It is fairer and stops you from being influenced one way or the other(i.e. everyone votes for a particular story...)

Don't play if you don't plan to vote...

PROMPT:

THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED.

and/or

ICE AND FIRE

and/or

NIGHT AND DAY

(You only need use a single set of prompts. You don't get more points for using all the prompts...)

DISCUSSION/QUESTIONS ON THIS THREAD ONLY--ENTRIES ONLY ON THE OTHER THREAD

If you used unique pairs, perhaps you might combine the prompt with the title of the first 13.

PROMPTS:

1. NIGHT AND DAY

2. THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED

3. FIRE AND ICE.

You can choose any or all of the three prompts but your entry must be based on one of the pairs.

In light of that I have asked Snapper to manage things in my absence and he's agreed.

He will close the competition at midnight (ish) on Friday 8th April and will issue the voting instructions.

Hopefully I won't have trouble voting in France, but I may email Snapper my votes prior to going, on the basis that no-one posts an entry in the final eight hours or so.

Voting will close either when all have voted or latest Sunday 17th.

lol

Obviously too late now but I was wondering if we could have done two of them? I didn't see anything in the rules even though I read them twice, but that doesn't mean much. I keep missing misspelled words even though there shouldn't be a lot of them but there sometimes are.

I'm also appalled that someone found one of my sentences to be contradictory and someone else found the sentences to be odd.

quote:

---

Hasn't anyone here heard of Third Person, omniscient narration?

---

Speaking for myself, it has been a while which might be one reason it sounded odd. But at the same time even with omniscient it reads a bit- I hate to use the term- immature, like you need practice or was written for a younger audience.

I have to started to see now, though, why it didn't work in the first place.

P.S.: Some of you are very kind.

Most of the opinions about your entry dealt with whether your piece drew them in. One reason why Hatrack has a limit of 13 lines is because 13 lines represents the first page of a manuscript (if formatted correctly). It is said most manuscripts are rejected based on the first page, so hooking an editor is top priority. That's why you see comments like I'd keep reading and I'm hooked.

Anyway, I was reading this blog:

http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2006_12_24_misssnark_archive.html#116732392671074681

and the blogger(who is a well known lit. agent/editor-idk) clearly states 'the hook' and the 'first page' to be very different.

quote:

---

Hasn't anyone here heard of Third Person, omniscient narration?

---

Yes of course -- anyone who has read something older than 50 years old has heard of it (whether they know it or not, but I think most people here are familiar -- it's a good group). I think the main problem is the number of entries. I am tapped out at 15 max. It becomes counterproductive pretty quickly after that.

These contests really are just for fun (unless you're Charlie Sheen). Don't weigh too heavily on specific feedback, because if someone spent 5 minutes on yours, that means they put in over 1.5 hours providing feedback.

quote:

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Now I'm confused. Is the hook some sort of a prologue/synopsis rolled into one? Or is it like how we do it here- the first actual page of a novel?

---

Hooks apply to movies, short stories, novels -- really any media for telling a story. For novels, the hook can be longer than a page, but for short stories, this group tries to emphasize the first 13 lines, because it may be the only opportunity the author gets to make a favorable impression with the editor.

Think how long it took to critique just the few 13 lines in this contest. I can't imagine being a slush editor. I would tend to make up my mind pretty quick if it's gonna grab me or not.

Anyway, can you not open in an omniscient third voice-just to get the reader settled- for only a few lines and then latch onto a character after that?

Also, I know I'll probably get shot for saying this, but: Harry Potter's first chapter was in omniscient third voice. I personally feel it helps to avoid all the cliched expressions with which the protagonists start, from the very first line. But I now see that I need to open my mind a bit.

Edit: my post was meant for wordcaster.

And no, I didn't intend to offend you(utahute) or anyone. This is getting kind of ridiculous and making me look like a bitter person. I'm sorry to bring it up and in fact, thank everyone for their comments.

I fear I am an old dog, and you cant teach me new tricks.

As far as third person omni, I dont know, it has hard time drawing me in.

Don't feel you need to alter your style for us. You write the way that feels best for you. I know I've changed my approach since joining my first critique group but that doesn't mean you should.

The real point to these challenges (since we had to use the money we compiled for winning these challenges to bail a member out of jail) is to see how your style and ideas are received. "Winning" only gets you a pat on the back.

I've always considered the hook as being the first one to three sentences. I was a little confused about the opening but from what is said here, that seems to be the first 13 lines.

Wordcaster has a point about how much time we have spent on these crits.

From what I understand from listening to pro editors, an experienced slush reader can tell just by the opening-first 13 lines-if the story is worth reading or not. After the first two to three pages for sure.

Actually Mc1 I don't think it made you look bitter, a little frustrated maybe but not bitter.

When I first started writing seriously my default POV was TP Omni, unless I tried to change it, I always write in it, probably because when I was a young whippersnapper that is what I read. My favorite writers wrote in it. . At the moment my default seems to be First Person especially with Urban Fantasy which seems to be one of two default genera at the moment.

quote:

---

Hi,
I have a question. Did everyone think of the Brooker hen in first Kill as a chicken? I used the term to mean an adult female bird.
It's good to know what doesn't come across the way you meant it to, or what doesn't travel well across the pond.

---

I didn't think it was a chicken even though most of time we only describe chickens as hens, I know that other female birds are called hens.

Is there somewhere we could have a list of names to go with Users names?

If everyone is willing to list their names of course.

Dune was a really good novel; it could have been great if it was written in limited third.

I like lots of books in omni third (i.e. the classics), but limited creates added tension because you don't know what the antagonist is thinking.

Josephine Kait
philocinemas
alliedfive

and

I'd forgotten that initial sense of horror when you realize that not everybody out there loves this finely crafted piece of awesomeness that is your writing.

And then, as is my standard rule, I left it alone, steadfastly refused to 'explain' to people what they missed, then went back and looked at it a week later and said to myself:

"Aw, hell . . . . they're right."

*chuckle*

This process is so damn fun, I can't believe I keep getting frustrated and leaving. I definitely don't agree with a lot of the votes, but it's so cool to remember there's other people out there!

You guys rock!

It's been SOOOO long, but it's good to be back.

-Falken224 (posing as Corin)