In short words, I have invented a world populated with humans and (mostly) same animals as Earth. I plan to write down the whole civilization, roughly ten thousand years of history. I began by a very general description and eventually going more and more into details. The posted 13 lines is the most far-off view of the world. I have begun working on a closer look as well. If anyone wants to read it, let me know.

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Inhospitable weather conditions forced many peoples to move out of their natural habitats. Many took to sea by means of primitive craft. After many decades of wandering the seas using smaller island chains as outposts they found a large piece of land. This was the continent Haru, where individual tribes eventually united and gradually founded nations and states.

One of those peoples was called Tarians. For a few centuries Tarians enjoyed prosperity in the new land. Then the climate changed and they were forced to move again, this time by land. They crossed a great mountain chain that was a border of their former realm. On the other side of these mountains they found a new homeland. A country called Tarium was formed here; with time it was forced to develop a military caste, thus able to repel even the strongest of enemies...

(I corrected the spelling errors.)

I'm interested in the world and would keep reading.

Small questions/corrections:
-- "wondering" should be "wandering"
-- I am not sure what a military "cast" is, though I know little about military and it may be my ignorance here.

Wonder/wander: I get mixed up on such words, thanks for correcting me

My mistake: it should be written 'caste' not 'cast'. Typing error. A military caste is what medival knights were in Europe or Samurai in Japan.

What I find not working -- for me, that is -- is that this is not interestingly written. What do I mean by that? Well, you can relate dry facts in an interesting manner and you haven't here.

A colorful Voice might help. Interesting details...like a history prof relating how once President Taft, who was obese and then got fatter, had to have the secret service haul him out of a bathtub in the White House. Gives a specific (if unflattering) image of a point in history. But the students will remember Taft afterwards.

If it's an alternative, okay, I'll take a look, but if it is just a matter of "hold on, keep reading down, the good stuff is coming soon" with this first post as still preceding the new stuff -- you're missing my point. The first post text was not interesting. It's the sort of information I have in my notes but would never put out as the opening. I'd look for some way to make the history/geography lesson interesting.

Inhospitable weather conditions forced many peoples to move out of their natural habitats

How about...a hemispheric wide storm erupted out of nowhere. Within days sheets of ice covered the rolling hills of ____. The fortunate few inhabitants who escaped on small fishing smacks and rafts of lashed together furniture fled southward toward the sun. It took years. Years of eating fish and storing rainwater. Babes were born who never knew land. Then, one day --- insert a scene of someone who never knew land seeing land on the horizon.

Not great lit, but is seems a tad more interestingly told (easier to visualize and remember) to me. Well, that IS just my opinion.

I agree with arriki that this isn't particularly exciting, but then it's more like I'm listening to a Natural History TV show than a story, does that make sense? As background to a story, it's maybe acceptable, but for the story - I'd hope to be involved with characters and action.

However, one of your questions was that this was a translation exercise for you. From my perspective, the translation is very good. You already corrected the few small things. The tone is, as already mentioned, a little dry. I'm reminded of the sections of Moby Dick that are all about the whales. Maybe fascinating to some, but not all your readers will care. Most want to get into the story, regardless of how much background information you've worked out ahead of time.

Specific critiques on the passage quoted here:

"One of those peoples was called..." - I suggest you repeat the use of the word "tribe" as it'll help the reader know you're talking about the same thing from the previous paragraph. "One of those tribes was called the (add "the) Tarians."

- border of their former realm - this was confusing to me. Are they in the place they had abandoned in previous generations? It's been ages since they lived there, right? Does it matter then that they crossed into their former realm? Is it their ancestral lands?

- You start talking about repelling enemies when, at this time, I don't expect enemies. Who is fighting them? Are those tribes mentioned earlier at war? Or do they war from time to time?

- "A country called Tarium was formed here." (end that as a sentence. "In time (not with time, in my opinion in time fits better) Tarium was forced to develop a military caste to fight the many warring tribes that attempted to overtake their lands." (or something like this.)

"...with time it was forced to develop a military caste..."

This section was transformed into 10 pages. I had some trouble with naming early characters so I simply called the char1, char2.

Don't give us that part's first 13 (just like you shouldn't give the agent your prologue, if you must have one, in a small sample but from the first chapter onward). You might consider if you want it to be the first thirteen in the book, too. Of course it turns to flashback if you put it after you introduce a character. But it's infodump any way you cut it.

Tell me about the Tarian whose PoV you're seeing the story through. He/she's a warrior - they have to be, right -- so show me how society has shaped him/her through your protagonist's actions and words.

Fact: The Spartans forced their children to fight -- broken bones, bruises, bloody noses, and to their deaths fighting -- from the time they were ten-years-old.

But, I would get more of the full picture if Magus was dragged away from his mother and welcomed to his new home by being thrown into an arena against a sixteen-year-old that circled with a knowing grin. When I look through Magus's eyes, feel his fear and anger, then experience the welcome beating he gets, I am really in the picture. If the boys that are looking on have arms in slings and are bruised and freshly stitched, I have an idea that this is normal for the Spartan society.