Whether intentional or not, what grabbed my attention, as Corky mentioned, is that the father dabs his mouth with the tablecloth yet lectures his daughter about manners. If this hypocrisy in deportment is part of the story, then I do like the detail. Otherwise, it just seems out of place.

Also, I found it odd that they are sitting in box seats. In North America, if you have "box seats" it means you have the best seats in a venue, such as a concert, the opera, or sports game. Again, for all I know they are in fact sitting in box seats inside an old opera house, and this is revealed later in the scene.

Overall, I do like the scene described. If you like, I can read the rest of your story and give my comments (I like using Google Documents).

Nit-picks:

quote:

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“Drink your tomato juice, Alice.(,)” said her father, neatly cutting the large steak into smaller pieces before he nibbled on them.(nice - not Mr. Manners)
“I hate tomato juice,” she said with all the spite a well-groomed young lady could muster but still sound graceful. Alice despised the thick and icky fluid--the way it slid down her throat like mud, the salty, coppery taste. (great description)
“Now, now...(use a comma instead - it's a better pause due to grammar rules)” her father dabbed his mouth with the tablecloth (great), “A (a) proper young lady does not fuss about dinner.”
Alice’s gaze wandered to the wide floor, below their box seats. The marble floor glistened under the light of the chandeliers. Tomorrow, on the dance floor, Alice will (would - past participle vs. inconsistent verb tense) elect her new sister. She will (would) have the pick of the evening.

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I could send you my story now, and I'd crit yours whenever you are ready, if you have no problem with that.

By the way the tablecloth thing was intentional and I changed "box seats" to "balcony".

Thank you guys.