posted
What a great place this is! I can't wait to take all your comments and put them to use, thank you.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jul 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
Awfully short opening. No where near 13 lines. I think you need a peroid before the 'Thank you'.
You know, what you wrote was gracious, but we are after a hook. Something that grabs the attention of the reader. Consider trying.
quote:Greetings wannabe's! You have the honor of meeting the next big thing in publishing. I haven't published anything as of yet, but that's only because I haven't graced the literary world with my natural talent and brilliance yet. Soon, you will be seeing my best sellers on the bookshelves of your favorite stores, and in a few years, featured films that will be locks for the Oscars. And to think, you will have known me before the fame has gotten to my head. So feel free to read and fawn over my early samples. Don't be shy to shower me with praise. For those of you that are hung on negative feedback, I have already dismissed you as envious nobody's. You're welcome.
Now that's a greeting that hooks! Don't believe me? Ask Linton Robinson, always worked for him.
[This message has been edited by snapper (edited July 23, 2010).]
Printer-friendly view of this topic
