posted
This is a long-forgotten remnant of Mike Munsil's Flash Challenge that I've been reworking lately. Less than 1000 words.
You may comment on the first 13 if you feel you must.
Tom shoved Harold Tueller overboard. Harold, Harold's hammock, Harold's trunk. Give them to the sea and let her cleanse them.
Harold was the last of them.
He listened as Harold's body thudded against _Nautica's_ side, then splashed into the sea. _Nautica_ creaked and groaned a eulogy. Tom bowed his head and let her speak, then said his amens and went back to work.
He walked along the rail first, touching the baited lines that trailed in the water. Four were heavy with catch. He would never be able to drag them in by himself. Not now. Food for Harold and himself, they had been.
He took his knife from his belt and cut the lines.
[This message has been edited by djvdakota (edited March 01, 2007).]
posted
I'll read it. I might not get to look at it until Monday (my schedule says my novel draft is to be completed Sunday evening ) If that's not too late, send it along, and let me know if there are any particular points you want me to watch out for.
posted
I'm new around here, and new to formal critiquing, but I'll try to give my input. The story looks interesting so far!
Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I've got your reply coming tonight if possible. If you want to discuss any of it here, I'm game for that, too.
Posts: 38 | Registered: Sep 2004
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One detail I neglected in the email: they've headed out from Spanish Town. I know there are plenty of towns with names like this, but we as writers are accused of being lazy when we use them. I'd pick a new name if I were you. Posts: 38 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I'm new around here, and new to formal critiquing, but I'll try to give my input. The story looks interesting so far!
