This is a personal thing I have, so if you think I'm loony than just toss it. But I think that 1st person POV is better served with a memory that ties us into the story. Something tactile--something real.

And example from Juliet Marillier's "Daughter of the Forest":

quote:

---

Three children lay on the rocks at the water's edge. A dark-haired little girl. Two boys, slightly older. This image is caught forever in my memory, like some fragile creature preserved in amber. Myself, my brothers. I remember the way the water rippled as I trailed my fingers across the shining surface.

---

Now this only works because it's a foreshadowing of what's to come. How her brothers will be taken from her. How she will no longer be free to be a child.

Give us a vision of your MC through his feelings, but also through a fluid image of his true self.

Start with the aliens, right off the bat. Just because it's first person doesn't mean you can't start with a narrative scene. Or a better hook. Especially for a story that is, admittedly, so short. Should have more punch, in my opinion.

IMHO, you could just start with:

Thursday night everything that I'd taken for granted or believed changed when the aliens, please don't laugh or roll your eyes, . . . .

I was . . . (Now you can show me his life the moment before it changes.)

That sets the scene and gets me into the meat of your story, which will show me that life is complicated for him now.

Daughter of the Forest is a great example. Mariller never says "I used to think I had an idyllic childhood until . . ." She shows us a scene from the childhood that was a "Hallmark moment" and sets us up for what the MC loses in the pages to come.