posted
Sci-fi thriller, a conspiracy theorist receives a file from a friend that brings more with it then secret information. Someone wants to stop him from publishing it on-line, unbeknowst to him, his friend has been missing for several days now..currently sitting at 1000 words, thinking short story..but I will have to see where it takes me..hook present, interesting?
The room was dark, except for the glow from the computer monitor. Dexter was hunched over the keyboards typing in his latest theory that aliens exist. Around his weather beaten running shoes was hundreds of scrunched paper, all scrapped drafts of his theory and story. He ran a hand through his thick blond hair and leaned back to stretch his arms. He pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes, he looked at his bed and fought the urge to dive under the blankets. He chided himself, and started to type. An electronic blip from his instant messenger drew his attention, he looked at the name and he didn’t recognize it. That wasn’t unusual, he had millions of freaks try to tell him their theories – and they called him was paranoid. The name is one that sent chills down his spine, it was DarkavenGer36s. When
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited November 25, 2006).]
posted
I'm a little confused here. His latest theory that aliens exist: what is that theory? It's on his mind, and he's our POV, so surely we should know.
Why's he writing it?
If he's using a computer, what's with all the paper scraps?
That is, I think you're telling us info you want us to know for the story (which is good) but not what Dexter is thinking about or cares about (not as good).
posted
The theory becomes evident later, and the scraps of paper are the draft "written" copies - which he tossed. I guess I could/should let the reader see what he is thinking. I wanted to set-up the suspense first and then demonstrate, develop Dexter with the action as it intensifies..but you have a valid point..thanks
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