Hey, all. Though I'm currently working furiously on a fantasy project, I was wondering if anyone could take a look at the first segment of a story I've also been trying to complete. I'm not sure if anyone recalls the flash fiction piece I posted waaay back involving a man and his laptop-induced hallucinations aboard an airliner? Not that it really matters, but that little story is the basis for this one. I decided to expand on the original, extremely vague concept, making the laptop an actual character (it's the first consumer product to feature 'synthetic intelligence'...and subsequently responsible for the main character's delusions).
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone could take a quick look and tell me what you think? Unfinished, it currently stands at 1,792 words and 6.3 double-spaced pages. There's no hurry (as I said, I'm working on another project simultaneously)...so don't feel like you have to get it back to me ASAP. If you'd only like to comment on the first thirteen...that'd be awesome, too.
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Jim hated flying. His friends used to laugh and call him paranoid, but there happened to be a plausible reason for his phobia. He only used a plane for long trips...specifically, the ones that involved crossing an ocean or large continent. On one hand it was great, since he did not have to do it very often. On the other, it was terrifying, because he was stuck in a stuffy aluminum tube for hours on end, trying not to freak out the whole time.
The shrieking babies did not help much. Jim was convinced the airlines had a quota to meet. If the suspicion was true, they were pretty damned efficient at it. There was at least one of the little pukes on every flight, and when there were two...well, they seemed to enjoy performing duets.
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Inkwell
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"The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp."
-Anonymous
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