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Angeline walked through the woods alone. The forest was deep and far from any town or village. No huntsman’s cabin was nestled nearby. No hermit’s cave was hidden on the mountain. Few lived even a little ways into the wood much less this far into its ancient depth. The nearest human habitation was about a day and a half’s journey down into the valley and the snow would begin falling too soon for any villagers to be wandering around far up in a haunted wood. Angeline knew of only one shelter nearby and she was heading for it – as unobtrusively as she could.

For a haunted wood, the forest was bright and cheerful - though it were lit from fall sunshine. Everywhere the colors had changed to brilliant orange and scarlet red – dashed only here and there with the stubborn evergreens. Yellow and orange leaves piled and stacked and drifted at the base of trees not yet entirely bare.

Your writing seems clear and concise to me, but I don't feel any connection for this girl, this opening has not hooked me. Maybe if you penetrated into her mind and problem more deeply.

Second, the next time JBSkaggs denegrates himself on this board, kick him in the virtual shins. He's doing JUST fine and, most importantly, he's learning and not afraid to ask questions and seek advice.

Third, I'm going to agree 100% with his assessment of your fragment. There is entirely too much description and entirely not enough movement or conflict or tension building information. She's obviously going somewhere that perhaps she shouldn't. That's tension. In fact, that entire middle paragraph could be replaced with a single line that shows Angeline moving and still have the same effect.

IE. "Angeline waded through piles of yellow and orange leaves newly fallen from the bright autumn canopy above."

See? One sentence, all the same information, and it gives the reader some credit for being able to use his/her imagination to fill in the gaps of sunshine and colored leaves. It also establishes, to some extent, Angeline's size without forcing the reader to slog through a ponderous physical description. You can show us, in comparison to whoever she meets in the woods, exactly how big she is later.

For instance, let's say she meets an old man in a cabin in the woods. Then:

He was a slightly built and somewhat stooped old man. Angeline towered over him. Her armband would nearly have fit around his waist, and the chances of him being able to muscle the cattle around the way Angeline did...impossible.

You see?

Just say it was isolated or remote and then move into the next part.

"Angeline was no woodland nymph or elf creeping through forest. For all her delicate beauty, she was far from frail. Nearly 6’ tall, she was solidly built, heavily muscled, and ever so slightly plump - even her hair was thick and curly."

OK, I have lots of problems with this description. Delicate beauty just does not jibe with 6', heavilly muscled, solidly built and slightly plump. Delicate beauty can mask an athletically muscled body, like a sprinter or runner. Slightly plump in conjunction with muscled creates an image of a female powerlifter, which may be your intent, but I do not equate that with delicate beauty.

For example:
- You spend almost 5 sentences telling us the woods are uninhabited (no huntsman's cabin, no cave, etc); could this not be trimmed and be more effective?
- You say "Everywhere the colors had changed to brilliant orange and scarlet red;" scarlet is a shade of red, so it's not necessary to say scarlet red. You could simplify by saying "Everywhere, the colors had changed to brilliant oranges and scarlets." Just a thought.

Others have warned me about descriptions of the POV character; it comes across sometimes as author intrusion. If Angeline is the POV, then is she really thinking this about herself? Much less at this moment? Ultimately, I'm a believer in character description, but consider what I really have to know about her to shape her in my mind's eye. Also, since it's in the description, I assume that there are woodland nymphs or elves in your world? If not, then I'm not sure it's an appropriate descriptive quality.

This sounds very nit-picky, and I'm sorry about that. I think you've a clear vision of story (that's a good thing) and the hint of mystery makes me want to read more.

I think you've made a good start here. Listen to what the others have said; their suggestions make sense.

Don't let critiques here get you down (if you're inclined that way ). My fellow writers here at Hatrack generally do a thorough but gentle critiquing. Kind of like a brisk brushing. Other places are usually neither as nice, nor as focused.

When you mention that she's moving "as unobtrusively as she could" you could add in why. "Whatever nymphs or elves claimed this wood for their own, they might let a girl pass, but not a woman taller than most men. Men might call her beautiful, but the fair races would see her as an ungainly ogress."