posted
Both quotes are correct. For the interior monologue, you probably don't even need the tag. Why doesn't she like me? Is probably sufficient if you've established you're in Jason's POV. I might alternatively use Why didn't she like him? since past tense is more common.
See SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS, Browne and King for plenty of examples of both.
posted
In a few instances where there are several characters present, I've found that tagging the inner monologue is helpful. Every so often, the monologue is a question. I know when a character is speaking a question, a question mark appears inside the quotation marks and can be followed by a tag.
I just want to verify, are question marks used when writing an inner monologue sentence that is not in quotation marks and is tagged, like the following:
Why doesn't she like me, Jason wondered.
I know the sentence could be rewritten, but that is an avoidance of the issue. I just want to know the rules.
posted
I don't know the answer to the exact question you're asking, but a way I avoid similar issues is:
Why doesn't she like me? Jason found himself wondering for the forteenth time today. (or some other "beat" where Jason DOES something with the wondering/question/musings.)
Or
Why doesn't she like me, he wondered. I'm a nice enough guy. I keep my toenails trimmed. (If you're doing interior dialogue, you can use the first person form so long as you're clear about when/where the first person disappears. It's like dialogue without the double quotes, so the "he wondered" above is the tag, done in third person past. The rest is as if Jason's talking to himself, where he would use the "I" and "Me" pronouns to refer to himself.
posted
Why doesn't she like me, Jason wondered. I believe it's correct. You certainly wouldn't put: Why doesn't she like me, Jason wondered? or Why doesn't she like me? Jason wondered.
Posts: 1895 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I am not a grammar expert, but I think it is the quotation marks that alter the punctuation when he speaks it.
"Why doesn't she like me?" he asked. Yes it is one sentence that I am sure of.
But I also think the best way to deal with internal thoughts is to use italics. Unless you are writing omniscient POV, it should be clear who is doing the thinking.
[This message has been edited by MAP (edited January 30, 2010).]
quote:In a few instances where there are several characters present, I've found that tagging the inner monologue is helpful. Every so often, the monologue is a question. I know when a character is speaking a question, a question mark appears inside the quotation marks and can be followed by a tag. I just want to verify, are question marks used when writing an inner monologue sentence that is not in quotation marks and is tagged, like the following:
Why doesn't she like me, Jason wondered.
The structure is correct. But it shouldn't matter how many characters are present. If you're using interior monologue you are firmly in the head of just one of those characters, or you should be.
I think there is a consensus here. The question mark isn't necessary in inner monologue followed by a tag. It looked odd to me with the question mark.
The italics is another issue altogether. My understanding is that italicizing inner monologue in optional, but muddying the water even further, can also depend on how literal the monologue is.
posted
<<The example you gave seems like a single sentence, so why the uppercase "H" in He?>>
I would think because a question mark usually is the end of a sentence? Anyway, that's the way I would interpret it, but I don't know for sure. My other example ends with a comma, which would imply the sentence isn't finished and hence the lower case "h".
Maybe someone else can come up with a more definite answer. LOL
posted
The question mark within the dialog doesn't end the sentence. For this purpose, it's just the same as the comma. This is correct: "Why doesn't she like me?" he asked.
posted
Number four and number five in this grammar article might be of some use to you.
I agree with Pyre Dynasty that
quote:Why doesn't she like me? Jason wondered.
might not work. Because "Jason" is capitalized it could be confusing. But I think "he" would be fine.
I've seen exclamation points mid-sentence, as well. I like this option, especially when you need to use a lot of internal monologue. Italics can get really messy if you've got short sentences strewn all over the place. Also, I sometimes feel that italics put too much indirect emphasis on the thought, but that might just be me getting nit-picky.
Oh yes-- and I seem to remember OSC saying that italics for internal thought is really only used in the romance genre, nowadays.
*I forgot to add that I agree that the mid-sentence question mark isn't necessary. But it is an option if you have a need for it.*
[This message has been edited by Betsy Hammer (edited January 30, 2010).]
posted
The two following sentences are grammatically correct. (The bolding is to set them apart from my comments.) "Why doesn't she like me?" Jason asked. "Why doesn't she like me?" he asked.
Why doesn't she like me, Jason wondered. This works for me. I agree that adding a question mark would look odd and possibly cause a moment of confusion.
As for italics, there's no Right and Wrong. Instead, there's Clarity, Confusion, and Annoyance. Italics may clarify that a sentence is a character's thought rather than narration. On the other hand, some readers can't discern the difference between italics and regular text. Another point to consider is that you might annoy a reader if too many words are italicized, because italics are harder to read.
Then there's how close you want a reader to the character's thoughts. To me, italics add a slight distance. The following sentences progressively bring me deeper into Jason's mind (that is, the top sentence is the most distant).
Why doesn't she like me, he wondered.
Why doesn't she like me, he wondered.
Why doesn't she like me?
Why doesn't she like me?
Sometimes, more distance is preferable. Sometimes not. How to tell? Go with your instinct.
[This message has been edited by aspirit (edited January 30, 2010).]
posted
I don't like italics because I try to do deep penetration and sometimes the line between POV character and narrator is fuzzy, because the character's character colors the narration.
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posted
I was flipping through one of my wife's romance novels trying to find the answer to my original question and the author had italics all over the place. And yet, there were bits of inner monologue that weren't italicized at all. That was annoying to me.
I think i'm leaning away from italics for thoughts, using them only when a particular word or phrase needs emphasis.