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I've just started over again on the second book. I'll post the first thirteen lines for critique later. But I suddenly realized that I already have five named characters in just the first paragraph. All of them are in some way returning characters from the first book, so not new characters. One is the main character from the first book. That is, assuming you've read the first book, of course.
Three of the characters are included only by reference. The (new) main character is pining for his family. It doesn't make sense for him not to think of them by name. And his family and what happens related to them is going to be a driving force in this story.
There will be several more returning characters before this chapter concludes. Where should I draw the line?
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My first instinct, not knowing the first book or your style, would be to write a short,contemplative introduction from the viewpoint of your new MC, introducing his/her millieu and hinting at the conflict, before going into a recap of the antecedant action. I think five names in the first paragraph is a bit much. In your first paragraph you could mention that your MC is missing his family, but spread out the naming a bit. This is the first 13 of a novel not a short story and therefore does not necessarily need to rush into the story, per se. It might be a good idea to look at the beginnings of some other authors' second books to series to see how they pull it off. Posts: 340 | Registered: Jan 2008
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