No, I'm talking about that first moment you realize you are falling in LOVE. What goes through your mind? What are the symptoms? How do you describe it?

The feeling I got was that I'd do anything for the girl. She was on my mind, not only in a sexual way, but in a way that I wanted her to be mine. She was stunning, beautiful and all the good things, and I told her that. It made me feel weird when I did, my stomach clenched, my mind went fuzzy, I lost my appitite, I was only thinking about her. Unclear thoughts clouded my mind and I was constantly confused on what I wanted at the time.

I never got her in the end, she fell for someone else, though she knew how I felt. It broke my heart. Weird feeling again, knowing that.

Now falling in love with someone who you shouldn't be... That's one I know too well, lol. She was my teacher, and she was just magnificent. Always smiling, always ready to help out, always helped me with school work when I asked, I was happy when I saw her and she knew it. Sometimes after school she'd tutor me personally, which made me fall for her more. She was married, so I was jealous when her husband came to my class one day and met all of us. He found out that I didn't like him, because of the jealousy. I was only thirteen at the time so it was a new experience for me.

Falling in love, is like getting your brain removed with a sledghammer while being simultaniously shot in the gut with a 12-gauge. Either you survive it or you writhe on the floor, twitching the last inch of life away. Usually she's the one with both the sledgehammer and the shotgun, by the way.

I can't say that "love" is actually something that I can say positive things about. In the end, things don't really matter.

As for the feelings and all that ick, just picture guy's version being more physical about it, more loud and obnoxious, bragardly and definitely piggish and apeish when competition arrives on the scene.

Other than that, there's not much difference between how women and men feel about it. We both get the annoying illnesses, the obsessive compulsive desire to be with them and to do things for them, the "awww... you're so flipping cute" syndrome and let's not forget the guy always deals with the desire to jump into bed the moment they think they're in "love". We have a very hard time distinguishing between lust and love, you know.

Generally, I find love to be a big waste of time. Mostly because either the girl doesn't know what she wants, I don't know what I want, or maybe because our brains leave our bodies while it happens we tend to short-curcuit what could've been beautiful. That's always been the case with me, at least, find a girl and then lose the girl to my own stupidity. So, to answer your question, guys experience love as a drain to their otherwise strained intelligence.

Needless to say love is a many splendor thing but its as concise and subtle as chaos theory.

It could be that the English langauge isn't really equiped for the task, it covers many emotions and relationships under one roof: I love my wife. I love pizza. I love Gaberial era Genesis. I love you, Grandpa.

Ancient common Greek has 4 words for love:

Agape: Love guided by principle, a unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
Philia: Love between friends.
Storge: Love between family members.
Eros: Romantic love

Of course, that initial romantic attraction might lead to a deeper relationship, but that takes time to find out. Ideally, true love between a man and a woman would involve all four.

That's what I felt most often, in the beginning --- or, rather, that's when those feelings first surfaced. And then I asked, why do I feel like I need to protect her?

And then I realized --- well, duh, you moron.

Hopefully this helps a little. Was I too vague?

ATTN: Elan...

I just realized that a (minor) character in the book Im currently working on has the same name... Elan

funny right?

I certainly think so

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No, I'm talking about that first moment you realize you are falling in LOVE. What goes through your mind? What are the symptoms? How do you describe it?

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In a word: euphoria. In several words, it's suddenly realizing that you are not alone, that there is truly someone out there for you. You stop thinking about "I" and begin incorporating "we" into your thought processes and plans for the future. You are quite literally high on love, as if on drugs, and the world suddenly seems a better place than it was before. It is often difficult to concentrate on the everyday mundane stuff because all you can think about is spending time with the person you love. Suddenly, spending $300 dollars or more on a night out seems like a brilliant idea and worth every penny. And in some cases, if the one you love lives across the ocean, 3267 miles away, flying over to where she lives only to spend a short weekend together is absolutely necessary for your survival. Most importantly, knowing that she feels the same way makes it all even better.

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Most importantly, how do you react if you think you are falling in love with someone you shouldn't?

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Just about everyone will have different things to say.

It's toeing the edge of a precipice. Are there rocks down there or deep water? Either can be frightening prospects.

To fall in love -- for me -- was a decision. It was knowing absolutely and without reason, that if I did not acknowledge what was happening, it may be gone for good. It made me realise that I was prepared to step over the edge and whether there were rocks or deep water below mattered little compared to the act of exercising faith in us.

I don't know if it helps.

BTW: getting a bloke to admit to these feelings is kinda like asking 'Hey, don't you own a whole shelf of Kenny G albums?' Very unlikely to admit it. I know I don't own any. No, really, I don't.

Think about the character. What is he willing to admit to himself? To her? What does the admission mean to his sense of who he is? Is he in a state of mind to accept the changes that will occur? Does he have faith in her? In himself? In the two of them?

For HSO it was euphoric. For me it was belonging.

At what precise moment do you fall in love? It is a little like jumping off a bridge. When do you actually jump? Whilever your feet are still on the bridge you haven't jumped yet, you're thinking I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. But the instant your feet leave the surface, you're thinking I jumped! I jumped! When did the jump actually occur? What precise moment can you name 'the jump'?

Perhaps it was when your mind was made up. Who knows?

As to your last question, about falling in love with someone you shouldn't. It depends on what you mean by shouldn't. I think falling in love is a decision we make. Sorry if that sounds Victorian, but it is true. You can decide certain folk are out-of-bounds. You don't go to family reunions to pick up chicks, do you? If it is someone who is legitimately available and compatible and the taboo is a social one, you can get very defiant. Especially if it is someone of a different race or cultural background. You get your mum and sisters saying things like, "Why are you interested in her? She is nothing like us."

"Well maybe that's exactly why I like her, mum, because she is nothing like you."

You start to see the little phobias people have about people from different backgrounds. I guess in the first instance, you start to notice your own social phobias. You begin to question the legitimacy of the boundaries.

For me it was like giving in to temptation. I knew she was a heart breaker, having watched her chew through almost every man I knew and leave them broken wrecks. When she set her sights on me I was determined not to fall in love. I resolved to control the situation.

That didn't last long.

Whenever she said she loved me it boosted my confidence and made me feel stronger. I felt like I must be somehow better than all those guys she tossed aside. As I felt stronger and stronger my will to resist her became weaker and weaker.

Eventually I could not resist the temptation to fall in love. By then I felt so strong and confident the risk seemed small, like running a stopsign.

This was in 1991. If you had asked me in 1990 or 1993 I would have said that falling in love with this woman was the dumbest move any man could make. But in 1991 she had made me feel strong, which meant I was weak.

When I fell in love with my wife, I realized that my life, on every level, would be better with her in it, and, more importantly, that I wanted the absolute best for her in every aspect of life. In other words, my wife I saw as a person, an end in herself, not a merely a means for my sexual gratification.

I agree with John Mac. (Tina and I have been married 15 years).

Love changes over time.

As thayerds said, when your child comes along it is like entering the fifth dimension, you can't imagine it before you're there.

However, if you expect an instant and overwhelming sense of love and devotion and fierce grizzly-bear protectiveness to sweep over you, you'll be disappointed. Love is a slow burn. It grows as you witness over and over again, that these people rely on and trust you and that you will do do anything necessary not to let them down.

But then, it is also knowing you can work on things together.

Tina and I had been married for a while before we seriously discussed having kids. I remember walking with her around the streets as we talked. ( I was convinced that I would never be a good dad). Finally we stopped in the shade under three mango trees that grew together in a park. It was then and there that we decided kids were for us.

Years later, after our third child was born, we were out driving. It was a stifling, muggy night and the baby was bawling. We pulled over so Tina could feed him and try to settle him down. While she did that, I took the other two for a walk and we found ourselves in our old neighbourhood. We were soon back in that same park where years before Tina and I had made 'the decision'. I explained the significance of the place to the kids and pointed out the spot where me made up our minds. My eldest, (at the time whe was five) looked at the scene but something was clearly worrying her. After a moment she turned to me and said, 'Lucky there weren't ten trees!'

I would also agree with the idea of protecting the girl you fell in love with. When I realized I was in love, real love (I think anyway haha) for the first time, was when I thought about the girl both in the usual, physical, lustful kind of way, but continued to think of her as more than that---as a best friend/sister/other half. And more and more, you begin to think in terms of "we" instead of "I." What will "we" do when I finish grad school... what will "we" be doing this summer, or this weekend... etc.

Because of this, it isn't unreasonable that most people talk about it (in retrospect) as being like having your brain disabled. It is like being drugged, and the effect is somewhat addictive. I've never experienced a romantic infatuation strong enough to override/disable my mental process, so I stop at saying that it's a euphoric response It's one of the most pleasant experiences possible, and if you don't let it impair your judgement, will combine well with other pleasant experiences (like eating chocolate covered strawberries). Unfortunately, everything seems like it will be fun when you're doing it with (or at the behest) of the person with whom you are in love. So most people end up having a lot of bad experiences as a result of being in love. The accumulation of these bad experiences eventually results in feedback that kills off the euphoric response, and they fall out of love. The sudden cessation of euphoria leads to a feeling of depression and all that. But I can't regard these secondary effects as being part of being in love, because they aren't.

If you've got a strong will and you haven't falling in love with someone who is trying to make you miserable, then falling in love need not involve any misadventure. Of course, very few people can remain quite themselves when deeply in love, and because the initial attraction that develops into romantic infatuation has many socio-biological components, they've generally falling in love with someone who is all too blase about the hearts of others. So there are usually side effects.

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Tina and I had been married for a while before we seriously discussed having kids. I remember walking with her around the streets as we talked. ( I was convinced that I would never be a good dad). Finally we stopped in the shade under three mango trees that grew together in a park. It was then and there that we decided kids were for us.

Years later, after our third child was born, we were out driving. It was a stifling, muggy night and the baby was bawling. We pulled over so Tina could feed him and try to settle him down. While she did that, I took the other two for a walk and we found ourselves in our old neighbourhood. We were soon back in that same park where years before Tina and I had made 'the decision'. I explained the significance of the place to the kids and pointed out the spot where me made up our minds. My eldest, (at the time whe was five) looked at the scene but something was clearly worrying her. After a moment she turned to me and said, 'Lucky there weren't ten trees!'

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I'm talking about that first moment you realize you are falling in LOVE. What goes through your mind? What are the symptoms? How do you describe it?

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I'll answer you by answering your specific questions from the experience of falling in love with the woman I married (who is 8/9 of the way to bearing our first child--surreal)

"What goes through your mind?": This is going to be expensive. Crap.

"What are the symptoms": Sudden onsets of responsible behavior, finding joy in being able to make sacrifices for the other's happiness, development of calm but unshakeable loyalty, the sudden appearance of patience, and loss of control of the house thermostat.

"How do you describe it": The purpose of a man, as a man, is to provide and protect. Falling in love is the development of a conviction that you've found someone to whom you want to provide those services for the rest of your life, regardless of risk or burden.

[This message has been edited by J (edited March 14, 2006).]

My story scenario is this: The man has developed an attraction for a woman who has not shown any attraction for him. He feels confined by an ethical dilema - this is an employer/employee relationship, or perhaps more to the point, the woman is an outside consultant, and her services are crucial so he cannot risk offending her. (Within the story, he is forced to put all his hopes on her skills, so hiring someone else so he can date her is not an option.) The woman has weathered a crisis in which she has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't NEED or WANT anyone to protect her, that she has the ability to protect herself.

If the love is unreturned, then it's not like the woman is rejecting the man's protection (which might hurt, or at least aggravate, depending on the circumstances). From that position, I think the lack of posession would trouble the guy a lot more than the fact that he's not her protector.

An related but often overlooked topic is the female protection instinct. My wife does more work protecting me than I do protecting her. I only have to protect her from the rest of the world; she has to protect me from myself. Every time I have a good idea, my wife tells me "no" and saves my life. E.g.:

"Honey, if you insist on hunting brown bear, you have to use a rifle. You can't try a spear just to see how it goes."

I have known people in similar situations. The thought; 'I will protect her whether she wants it or not.' sometimes emerges. Especially when the woman seems to be on an endless cycle of go-nowhere relationships and destructive behaviour. 'I can't just stand by and let her...' 'What sort of a friend would not tell her...'

The 'I'll be the rock.' syndrome.

Many men's minds are very categorical. Most can focus on only one thing at a time.
That is why we can be looking for something in a drawer and not see it. Because we remember it differently to how it really looks. I am often surprised that way, the can-opener is blue? I thought it was green. If he is besotted and the 'besotment' is not mutual, and he cannot put someone else in the 'romantic interest' category in his brain, then he will often focus on one or two other things related to her instead not realising what his real focus is. This kinda only works if she has no idea about his real feelings. He can protect her (I know it sounds arrogant) and slowly develop an 'immunity' to her. He may even go out a few times with someone else to see how she reacts.

Blokes brains work in a series of default and familiar programs. When they really care for someone, the brain switches to a different program, one with which they are unfamiliar and with every keystroke they are petrified they will do something wrong. Easier to just revert to the default programs. Trouble is when the 'new' program won't quit. (Like that stupid paper-clip guy in Microsoft: 'It looks like you are trying to start a new relationship. Would you like some help? ... It looks like you are trying to start a new relationship. Would you like some help? ... It looks like you are trying to start a new relationship. Would you like some help? )

[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited March 14, 2006).]

PS: Thanks Apeiron. It was a cool moment.

Love, however, is, if not a decision, at least rooted in decisions. When you are "in love" the other person may seem like the most important person in the world to you (although often people are still working towards their own gratification and barely realizing it). When you act out of love, you actually make the other person the most important person in the world. You place their needs, concerns, and desires ahead of your own -- even if you don't feel like it. The difference is that when you are "in love" you usually feel like it.

The answer to this question depends a lot on how falling in love affects his mental process and how much the man understands his own feelings. Most guys don't even understand a basic distinction like the difference between being "in love" and loving someone. Look at those greek words for a moment, and you'll notice that they don't make much of that distinction either. A lot of men don't even distinguish betwen feeling sexually attracted and being in love or actually loving a woman.

If I'm falling in love, I accept and enjoy it. Even if it's with someone I "shouldn't". I would attach the "shouldn't" to something other than my feelings, and avoid doing that. If my feelings get out of control, I can always turn them off. That's quite different from most men, I suppose.

It may be that most men don't realize that they're "in love", until they start falling out of love. But you're talking about a guy who would definitely understand that he was having inappropriate desires towards a woman. Still, that doesn't mean that he understands the difference between sexual attraction and romantic infatuation. He might be trying to combat only the sexual attraction while allowing himself to make decisions based on the euphoric effects of simple proximity and all that.

I would be surprised if most men couldn't switch their feelings off as you describe. And I agree that turning them back on can be almost impossible in the face of the systems we employ in order to suppress those emotions in the first place. But that ability is as much a function of the man's self-image as anything else. The I don't cry at funerals therefore my emotions are in check fallacy. The I am different -- mentally tougher -- than those contemptible, emotional types mindset.

Or even the wrongheaded my dad was a emotionally stunted, mongrel S.O.B but at least I inherited his emotional toughness pattern of thought.

Many boys are indoctrinated that if they modify their behaviour -- 'suck it up', 'choke it down', 'quit yer whingin' 'don't be a {insert emasculating term here}' -- that they can modify their feelings. Many try it out in their relationships, the more intense the feeling the harder they try. And it works, but only as an inverse proportion of the intensity/reality of those feelings in the first place. The deeper the feeling the less effective that type of solution becomes.

So blokes that can't make use of that solution in a given circumstance, divert instead. They drink ( I can't turn this feeling off so I will neutralise it) or play sport or fight or engage in endless arguments over inconsequential things (aggression is a perfectly good solution to pain).

PROBLEM = Everything at work is turning bad. My opinions don't count anymore; my workmates make fun of me behind my back; the girls think I'm creepy. SOLUTION = I think I'll hang a punching bag in the basement.

It is so much easier for people to define what love isn't. The dictionary defintion of love is general at best. Mostly it is incompetent. To me the term 'love' is more like a genus than a species.

thayerds: Can't say I've read any of Harlan Ellison's work, but that was the only image I could think of that describes my own experience with love. Anyway, it's enough to say, "@(#* it all! Nuke the world and leave it for the roaches!"

I think Minister hit the single, critical, difference between falling in love and falling into anything else. Falling in love is an act of will. Infatuation and lust happen, and cause behaviors that are difficult to control. Love is chosen, and is manifested by behaviors that are deliberate--behaviors of selflessness and sacrifice. I'm not talking about the grandiouse sacrifices ("I will jump off of this building to prove my love for you") that can be produced by the deranged mental states of infatuation, but the day-to-day sacrifices that no amount of infatuation could support. Sacrifices like spending time at home instead of with friends, watching your bathroom turn into a labratory of personal care products, keeping the house 10 degrees warmer than you think is neccesary and paying the heating bill for it, choking down terrible food for the first year while she's learning to cook, and pretending that it's not terrible . . . . These are acts of will. I think falling in love is the single act of will, the internal commitment, that makes all these others possible.

Edited to add that the above description was not meant to denigrate being in love--I wouldn't have things any other way.

I've noticed two concepts I need to use to accurately portray my male character's state of mind: "protector" and "possessor." The "possessor" aspect is often overdone in stories, but I can see that adding in the "protector" aspect will make my story more true to life.

Here I will interject a generalization from the female perspective. The two key words I would choose to describe a woman's feelings of being in real love would be "nurture" and "trust".

I think women see their role as "nurturer" rather than "protector", as being the glue that holds things together. Women complain about men who can't remember stuff or find things in the kitchen, but it's said with a feeling of smugness: What would he do without me? Women tend to see the greatness in the man they love, even when he doesn't see it for himself. It's why women stay in bad relationships for so long - he's given her a glimpse into his real vulnerable self, and she feels like if she just works harder, she can bring that greatness out in him and in the relationship. It takes a lot of years for women to realize that if that side is not coming out on a regular basis, it's not likely to emerge as the primary facet of the relationship either.

Instead of being the "possessor" a woman will be the one who "gives". The shadow side of this act of sacrifice happens when a woman gives up her sense of self and becomes a martyr. It's a difficult balance between true selflessness and the selfishness of martyrdom.

The feeling of being in love, for a woman, is one of surrender and trust... putting your utter trust in a man, trusting that he will see you as a whole person and not an object, trusting that he will celebrate your success and not be jealous of it, trusting that he will put such a high value on being a couple that he will be willing to do the hardest thing of all: continue to step deeper into the commitment while trying to remain emotionally open and vulnerable -- even if it goes against all his training.

Being in a loving relationship shouldn't feel like a sacrifice. If it does, then something is out of balance. Bottom line is that, in order to have a healthy relationship, both partners have to set their own healthy boundaries.

But that is not the point.

As with my first post, I maintain that love is a decision, as J put it, an act of will.

Each of the two in the realtionship must exhibit enough trustworthy characteristics for the other to trust them.

I think the 'protector' aspect, unless skilfully executed, will make a male reader's skin crawl. Instinct tells a man that to be strong one must strive to be unassailable. To be categorised, defined and understood, is to possess a gate -- an entry point -- that is vulnerable to infiltration, even if only to ideas, attitudes or perspectives. A woman seems to find validation in discovering your 'entry points' and colonising your mind with ideas that may not even originate with her, but somehow match the 'image' she has of how she would 'prefer' you to be. You're on swampy ground with 'protector'.

A man can have incredible remorse for showing their vulnerability. They can feel like it served only as momentary gratification for the female and 'boasting rights'. Inevitably the woman will commence a discussion with her friends that begins with 'You know, Bob really opened up to me the other night...' Its like an emotional 'notch on the bedpost'.

It's also why one of the biggest pick up lines around is; You know, I never told anyone that before.

Edit: clarification, typos.

You feel your neck and shoulders start to relax at the sound of your love's voice. After an extended conversation, your face may start to hurt from smiling too much.

Convesely, you can become frustrated and angry when you encounter some hindrance to being with or even talking or emailing that someone.

Sexual attraction: A biologically rooted imperitive to carry out some form of sexual contact, ranging from simply holding hands to complete intercourse. It is often described as lust, particularly when other romantic inclinations are absent or underdeveloped.

Romantic infatuation: A emotionally based feeling of euphoria connected with a beloved object, closely intertwined with the sexual impulse in humans. All contemplation of the beloved activates a neurochemical cascade that promotes a feeling of well-being, while contemplation of the abscence of the beloved interupts this cascade leading to feelings of illness and despair. This is often described as being "in love".

Love: A determination to work towards the maximization of the sentient (or merely cybernetic) potential of a person (sentience) or cybernetic system. In human terms, this involves working towards common goals and seeking the personal actualization of the loved individual. It is called variously, but usually the word love or a synonym is emphasized.

Love, as such, has nothing to do with this discussion, as I see it. It is only the phenomenon commonly called "being in love" which needs to be discussed. It is certainly true that the connection between sexual attraction and romantic infatuation is very different in men compared to women, and that deserves discussion (though hopefully without denigration of either). For a woman, biology has dictated that to pursue a sexual attraction to its logical conclusion, she must make a substantial investment of time and resources, potentially risking her own life. Naturally, she will have standards for sexual attraction that are much closer to the requirements for developing a romantic infatuation. It may even be that substantial romantic infatuation is necessary to overcome the reservations consequent of the reproductive biology. One caveat that should be mentioned, a woman doesn't have to have the same man as a husband (provider) as she has fathering her children. This introduces some really interesting complications into female romantic interaction, and a woman's concept of being "in love".

For men, on the other hand, reproduction doesn't naturally involve more commitment in any instance than the man is willing to make. He can walk away anytime (until the invention of legal mechanisms such a murderous brothers in law ). However, to maximize the reproductive potential of a highly fit female (in terms of survival and raising of offspring), it is only natural that men are also swayed by an impulse to stay and nurture a mate. But men can (and often do) have it both ways, fathering children with several woman while only nurturing one as a wife. But it should be pointed out that it is very difficult for a man to divide the role of mother to his child between two woman, the woman he impregnates has physical possession of the child during critical early developmental stages, and transfering the child to the care of another female isn't easy.

None of this has anything to do with whether or not the man and woman actually desire the maximization of their own or each other's sentient potential. A woman might want to free her man from self-limiting or destructive behavior patterns, or she might equally want to make his entire cybernetic process subservient to her own whims. A man might want to protect his woman from harm and deprivation, or he might simply be turning her into a possession. Which is happening is not to be discovered by consulting feelings.

#1. I have chosen to write about romantic relationships without EVER having been in one, male, female, homo, hetero, ANYTHING! I have NEVER felt romantic attraction or affection to anything in human form which was returned. And no, I'm not asexual! It's not all me--I'm still working out how much of it *is* me. My "relationships" can be described as a series of one-sided disasters. Either the guy never knows I exist, or, when made aware of my existence, thinks I am putrid slime which should be eliminated, or, the guy likes me (those knowing the least about me entertaining the deluded notion they understand and love me best) when to me death would be preferable than any type of consorting with such specimens. In a few rare cases I've gotten as far as mutual physical attraction--BARELY--and NOTHING beyond. Whenever one of these unpleasant interludes ends, it's like the man who hit himself on the head with a hammer, because it felt so good when he stopped. I have nothing warm, fuzzy, or bittersweet to contribute, only comic in a pathetic sort of way. Let's just say such a love life can make reading about psycho killers a comfort.

#2. Even if I had a great romance life, I've chosen to write about people who don't share my characteristics. I'm writing about young men who are good-looking, intelligent, and personable when I have no experience with those things! What must life be like for a truly good-looking person who attracts the attention of others without even trying? I have only a vague idea, and yet I've chosen to write about someone gorgeous enough to turn heads (presenting the additional problem of describing the viewpoint character's looks without making him sound conceited about himself--but THAT, I might pull off.) What must life be like for a naturally charming person who, a good part of the time, knows the right thing to say or do in many if not all situations? Sorry, NO idea WHATSOEVER! I'd be one of the WORST people to ask any such thing! Yet somehow I feel compelled to write about characters like this! It's either genius or utter insanity.

(I actually have NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER writing about ANYONE over the age of 15, but these stories keep returning, pestering to be written to an extent where I'm going to write them. Maybe it will kill me. Maybe that's how I'm meant to go.)

I've chosen to write the books with male viewpoint characters first because it's actually EASIER. Even nowadays, men are traditionally the pursuers, and I'm writing about times and places when women of quality didn't throw themselves at men. Meaning, my female character will have to cope with beating off a LOT of unwanted attention and consequent conclusions that she must be a snob or something, while the male characters would endure more subtle flattery easier to handle. (I can't imagine any of them not attracting some attention because they are just too impossibly good-looking to ignore--sorry.) Since I'm just barely acquainted with 21st-century social customs, 19th-century ones should prove a great challenge! It might be easier in one way, since dating was not so casual back then, I may not be required to provide a good-looking young guy who is attracted to women with a whole lot of former girlfriends--since he was not "serious" about anybody prior to falling *really* in love.

And I never heard of Storge before. Good one.