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Write eloquently but simply. Identify the real plot of the story as well as the driving plots and be open about how the story ends.
What makes your story worthy of killing a few hundred trees?
On the first story sell the story, after you are published you might be able to focus on selling yourself (like business school teaches, not like Hollywood Blvd.)
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Here is a site that might be helpful to you. There are some basic how-to's on writing a query. You can even find some examples of query letters that attracted positive attention.