posted
This was just e-mailed to me and since everyone seemed to have fun discussing Christine's "Can I make-up a new word" thread, I thought this might be of interest.
quote:The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Some recent winning entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
The Washington Post invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of those winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid (e.g.: "I'm a doctor...")
4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Glibido: All talk and no action.
11. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Me and hubby and the kids play a game something like this.
We have those magnetic letters on our fridge, and we arrange them in a readable arrangement of vowels and consonants, then challenge each other to come up with a definition for our constructed word, then use it in a sentence.
Example:
rometild--adj. 1. the state of the skin when a person loses weight too quickly. IE. Her rometild underarm flapped erratically as she led the choir in the Hallelujah Chorus.
posted
I had a German teacher in high school who said that his exams came in varying lengths and difficulties. "We had quizes, and quizicles. Also testes and ..." He never finised that sentence and we still laughed every year.
posted
This reminded me a bit of the game Balderdash when you have to get people to believe your definition for a word. That's when the BS Detector* on your Hatrack Utilty Belt comes in handy .
quote:This reminded me a bit of the game Balderdash when you have to get people to believe your definition for a word. That's when the BS Detector* on your Hatrack Utilty Belt comes in handy .
I had to throw my BS detector away. It was defective and went off every time I put the belt on.
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Innocent?! Is that possible? Perhaps you thought it was innocent but it was really your subconscious asserting itself in a markedly profane manner.
Just kidding, but I'm sure Freud would have something to say on the topic...
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There's nothing innocent about wet willies. They're absolutely GROSS (at least in the prank form...I don't know about the Hatrack member form). Believe me. I have two brothers. ::wipes at ear:: Blech.
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Okay, in that sense, Jeraliey, my name isn't innocent. That's the kind of wetwilly it refers to. Any relationship to terms of a genital nature is purely coincidental. (Don't try to act like the thought hadn't crossed your mind, either.)
Oh! The files are IN the computer! It's so simple!