posted
Two weeks early - in following with being born two weeks early... (sort of cool - i was born on a thursday and this year thursday's the day, too!)
Quick update on the last landmark - coaching is amazing. I listened to and heeded the advice given, recognizing that the children I have had the opportunity to coach thus far are teaching me more than I could hope to coach them... I appreciate the blessings I’ve been given relating to each of them. Laughter, Wonder and Love are irreplaceable and, when honest, indescribable.
(eh - 1000 was so short ago - why not just divide by about 10 for the next landmark?! *mildly sarcastic wink* )
Upon Turning 28...
Truth be told, I figured I’d get about 23ish (closer to 21) years here. Not sure what that means, not sure what that translates to, other than for the past 5ish (closer to 7) years I’ve been living as though I should have been gone.
I believe I am just now waking up to the fact that I’m still here. I am going to be here. I have got to start living like I mean to. I realize that that concept may sound silly to some. I can respect that sentiment... sounds silly to me sometimes. I am just getting used to still being here. One thing I can say with certainty is: in April of 2007, I got the message that I was going to be here to make a difference. I am resolved to make a difference for the good, righteous, just, peaceful... the believers.
Trivial as the circumstance may sound... during a softball game, I went to make a catch down the 3rd base line then cracked my right knee so hard into the clay, I felt a hurt like none other. I’m stubborn, I’m hesitant to accept injury, I’m (to a fault at times) mind over matter. I wanted to NOT accept I’d hurt myself. After catching for another inning and then trying to bat (getting a base hit, hopping to second, stumbling to third and needing a runner), I realized I’d actually managed to do something not so cool to myself.
Long story short, after a few months of having a doctor who was all wrong then finding the right one - I had to have surgery. I’m inquisitive. I opted to stay awake while they cut (i recommend this for anyone who likes to see how things work - watching your body work in ways you can’t even imagine is, well, amazing) and I think that expedited the whole ‘something’s changing’ thang (sic).
Here I sit, half a year later, absolutely not the same. Since then, I’ve gone through hell and back. That’s neither an understatement nor an overstatement, merely Truth. Sparing you details (I’ll answer if you ask), I can say honestly that I’ve begun to learn what matters in this World...
What matters is not the people you know. Ahhh, well, to some degree... what I mean to say is that what matters is not that one person... what you learn with them is the gift. What matters is the light they shed on your path (or light shed on each other’s path?), what goodness they share with you (or goodness shared?), what shine you can pass along thanks to a lesson shared together. Of COURSE there’s that one person for each person, what beauty would there be if not? Each person we meet, though, offers some light to our path. What is important (to quote myself at 3 - “what matters”) is defining the light from each person and then recognizing the true light meant for you. Light is shifty, with ability to bend and shape itself... Learn your true light and then learn to recognize the light meant to be shared with you, spent with you, shone with you. Next comes the best part... Embrace your shared light and don’t let go... .
I’m not sure precisely what I’m aiming to say here. I just know, without question or doubt, that there is a path for everyone. Mine was shown to me starting last year.
Upon turning 28, I am determined to live up to the path, destiny, given to me.
No matter how difficult at times living, being, proving, hoping to example... believing... .
peace *with hand raised... demure blink, slight wink, tilted nose*
quote:Originally posted by cmc: I believe I am just now waking up to the fact that I’m still here. I am going to be here. I have got to start living like I mean to. I realize that that concept may sound silly to some. I can respect that sentiment... sounds silly to me sometimes. I am just getting used to still being here. One thing I can say with certainty is: in April of 2007, I got the message that I was going to be here to make a difference. I am resolved to make a difference for the good, righteous, just, peaceful... the believers.
How are you going to do that? Do you plan to follow some "rules" or "steps", or is it more closer to "seize the moment"?
posted
A. - More of a seize the moment thing. I'm no good with rules... I'm more of a 'learn all the rules so you know which ones you can break and then defend with another rule' type person. That being said, no rules - no steps - just being more in the moment. More conscientious of what's happening around me and being less reactive and more proactive with regards to moving in a positive direction. Does that make sense how I worded it? And THANKS!!!! You're the first person to word that this year. I'm a little kid at heart (probably always will be) and so, well, my birthday gets me all excited and happy. The only 'bad' thing is I'm constantly forgetting how old I actually am... ; ) ~cmc
TomDavidson - I was thinking more along the lines of banishment to the bog of eternal stench. Of course, we'll take all their stuff before we send them there. What do you think?
DeathofBees - Thank You. That's one of my all time fav birthday thoughts.
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by cmc: More of a seize the moment thing.
From my own experience, it isn’t that easy to do it, but I think you’ll be willing to put the effort it requires in it. So, enjoy!
quote: I'm no good with rules... I'm more of a 'learn all the rules so you know which ones you can break and then defend with another rule' type person.
He he, by some definition that might be considered “being good with rules” (Meaning being good with seeing beyond them, and critically analysing them, as “better” than just blindly following them )
quote:That being said, no rules - no steps - just being more in the moment. More conscientious of what's happening around me and being less reactive and more proactive with regards to moving in a positive direction. Does that make sense how I worded it?
If that makes sense to you, that’s all it matters.
quote: And THANKS!!!! You're the first person to word that this year. I'm a little kid at heart (probably always will be) and so, well, my birthday gets me all excited and happy.
You’re welcome! This reminds me a few years back, one of my dear (flesh and blood) friends called me just after midnight, as it is considered the “real beginning of the day” and told me she wanted to be the first to wish me “Happy Birthday” that year. (It is a custom to try to say it only during the actual day around here). So, even if I have never thought the “order” mattered, the fact that she wanted to be the first was a happy though that stayed with me all day long. [/anecdote]
quote:The only 'bad' thing is I'm constantly forgetting how old I actually am... ; )
I think one should be concerned more with their “interior” age than the “exterior” one.
posted
So was there a particular reason you only expected 21 years? I have to say, I felt a little the same about 30, when the millenium would turn, and then the world would end.
I know someone else, though, who has been through about 10 "life sentences" for medical reasons, and they have done a lot more with their life, it seems. Not that we're in a race or contest.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
A. - I'm pretty stubborn, especially when I get something into my head as possible. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Good point on the second point. I don't question everything, though. Wait - that might be a lie. How about I wonder about everything as opposed to doubting (since to me question could mean either), that's a little more accurate. Makes sense to me, so we're good on that one... ; ) As for the last - definitely got the heart of a child, don't think that's changeable. : ) ~cmc
pooka - I thought I was going to die when I was really young. I can't give you any explanation other than that.
El JT de Spang - Thank you, thanks and if you figure out how (and it's not involving some sketchy blood/essence sucking procedures, metals that will warp your mind or stones that put you on a hit list...) PLEASE SHARE! *wink*
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I enjoyed your landmark very much cmc. Try breaking some more bones, see how much more you learn. I've heard if you snap the femur; instant nirvana! Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Glad you enjoyed it, BlackBlade! : ) I'll be practicing my snapping skills tonight as I dream... Wonder if I'll wake up... ; )
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Always nice to read such a positive landmark. Like pooka, I wondered where the conviction came from that you were going to die young, but I guess if you don't know, you don't know. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
(Meaning being good with seeing beyond them, and critically analysing them, as “better” than just blindly following them ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
)![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
