posted
20,000 Posts It took me two months to write my 10,000 landmark. Two years and another 10,000 (more or less) posts later, I’m ready to post another one.
I don’t remember when I forged Kat’s Rule of Life #3: Do not discuss love life or lack thereof on Hatrack. There have been some (now hilarious) exceptions, but I have stuck to it fairly religiously for the past several years.
The rule started to crack last fall, and it teetered like a drunken sailor when I feared I had exhausted the Live Journal crowd and my gushing needed to find another outlet. Time for it to crumble.
Last January, I started grad school at a university an hour away. I tried to be a good student (there’s first time for everything), and I worked hard enough that when summer came, I found myself abruptly out of practice with goofing off and I needed something to occupy my time. The movie project appeared. My ward at church would produce, in six weeks, a ten-minute movie and two commercials worthy of being shown to a regional YSA audience. I was in charge because I had the following showbiz qualifications: (1) I went to the planning meeting, and (2) I watched all the extras from all three Lord of the Rings extended editions.
The Movie My friend The Mathematician and I wrote a script, and we started scouting for volunteers for actors. I asked Hatrack if anyone wanted to edit the script, because it needed more Funny and it was possible that we had no idea what we were doing. Several people responded and offered to help; one of them was Matt. I knew of Matt more than I knew him – he was my cousin’s brother-in-law, and to my delight, he had the year before proclaimed us to be related. I remembered he was getting a degree in history somewhere, but we had interacted before only in that thread. This was the first time he e-mailed me. He took the script, added some Funny, and changed the leading male to a confident, gallant character. With some other people, Matt served as a consultant during the frantic six weeks it took to make the movie – he’s even in the credits. The night of the showing, the movie won Best in Show, but I was a little bit afraid that this meant Matt wouldn’t feel the need to e-mail me anymore. I still hadn’t told anyone about him except a few very close friends – I wasn’t sure what was happening.
Then he invited me to Utah. I said no.
I couldn’t go! I was going to go to Spain at the end of September, and I didn’t have enough money saved yet. I needed every extra bit of fun money for that trip, and I was afraid that I still wouldn’t have enough. He had tossed off the invitation so casually that I wasn’t sure if he’d really meant it. Although I wanted to go, I had to say no. At this point, I asked the women on Live Journal for advice. Normally I’d ask Hatrack, except for the Rule #3 and, well, he was a Hatracker. They said to do what I had to do, and reassured me that he wouldn’t disappear because I didn’t come. They were right.
We were still writing everyday. I realized with a pleasant shock near the end of August that I started every morning and ended every work day thinking about Matt. We talked about everything – history and books and ideas and the church and our amusingly-collective family. Matt is brilliant and snarky and still so incredibly kind. I started posting in Live Journal in awe that he was real – could he be real?
New York I was going to a conference in New York City in October, and I spent much of August trying to work up the courage to suggest that we meet there, since he’d be in school in D.C. Delightfully, I didn’t have to – Matt suggested it. He was adorable – I have to quote the conversation:
Matt: I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? Me: Of course. Does it involve ninjas? Matt: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" So, the idea is this. I'd love to get on a train and head up to New York and have dinner next month if you are able and willing. Me: I think this is a great, great idea. My conference is from October 31 to November 4. It's forever away. *pout* But that would be so much fun.
Then my conference cancelled. I found another one for the same time. Then that one cancelled. AAAAAGH!!! Never mind – I’m going anyway. I could stay with some friends, and even if it turns out to be a disaster and he doesn’t like me at all, NYC is always a good idea. Plus, I had a disaster plan: if he disliked me on sight and we spent the afternoon stiffly discussing the weather before mercifully breaking to escape to respective friends’ homes, when I got back to Dallas, I would take tennis lessons.
It was set. October 29th, 2:30 pm, on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I was very nervous. My plane landed just a few hours before our meeting time, and in my usual airport grace I had barely made it on the plane. I had fixed my hair and dressed nicely before I left, but my contacts and make up were in my luggage. Which did NOT make it on the plane. Blast. I borrowed some makeup from my friends with whom I was staying, and my glasses were okay. I made it to the steps of the Met exactly at 2:30, but I didn’t see him. We’d exchanged pictures for the first time barely the week before, and while I had reason to think that he liked me, I didn’t know what he was thinking this was. Were we only friends? I don’t know…do Only Friends write each other every day for three and a half months? And we’d never met – I didn’t think it would be weird, but you never know – it could be very awkward in person. I was trying to drown hope just in case it turned out badly, but it wasn’t working very well. I loved everything I knew about Matt, and I couldn’t help being excited to meet him.
Once on the steps, I heard a voice behind me, and there he was. He wasn’t sure if it was okay to hug me, so I hugged him. Matt grabbed my hand, led me up the stairs, and we spent the rest of the day in the Met. We didn’t want to leave.
The next day after church, we said goodbye to Jason and Melanie and left to have dinner with Matt’s friends. To get there, we cut through Central Park. Well, not through. More like around (and around) Central Park. We got a little bit turned around – construction was making the maps lie to us. We stopped to watch ice skaters near the southeast side, and just off the path, to the right, there was a gazebo. That’s where he kissed me. *bounce* That was fun. Matt is absolutely darling.
After New York, we missed each other, so Matt came to Dallas in early December for a weekend. We met again over Christmas break in Salt Lake City (city #3), and hugely enjoyed meeting each other’s families. I went to D.C. (city #4) in the middle of January. On Monday morning, January 16th, we sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial overlooking the reflecting pool, and Matt asked me to marry him. I said yes almost before he got the sentence out. The wedding is August 5th, 2006, in Bountiful, Utah.
Next Matt has this gesture where he bites his bottom lip, pushes his glasses up his nose, and ruffles his own hair. It means he’s thinking, and I love it. It’s like a drum roll. It means he’s about to come out with something really great, and I can’t wait. He’s so brilliant, and he doesn’t let me get away with anything. And he loves me. I’m in awe. He takes care of me, but not in the shield from life sense. He takes care of me by making me safe and comfortable and happy and loved, and with that strength I can do everything else.
There’s much more to the story, but I think it’s time for the landmark to close. Everyone asks us how we met. We usually mention the family connection, but Hatrack was essential part of it. If it wasn’t for the family connection, I may not have written so much to someone I’d never met, but if it wasn’t for Hatrack, we never would been interested in one another.
Thank you to the Cards for providing this place. My 10,000 landmark was about my mother, and about my past, and I loved having Hatrack to give me some feedback on the events that had haunted me for much of my twenties. The 20,000 landmark was about the future, and about Matt. Thank you for listening.
posted
ElJay: Yes, she is. I knew she could and would.
Thank you for the congratulations. Tom, no kidding. I'm feeling a little sheepish for the many, many times I have mocked other people for doing exactly that. It is another five months until the wedding, if that balances it out at all. I've decided we could say that it started in July, which stretches the dating part out to a respectable six months.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wow congrats Katie! I had a few guesses (your job application that was so important, and your lack of presence on LJ lately ) Oh and Congrats, MattB too.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
You got engaged on my birthday. I knew it was an auspicious day .
Many congratulations ! So when's the hatrack get together where we all get to coo over how cute you two are as a couple and see the ring ?
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged |
It is a happy Valentine's Day, although it is not the only happy V-Day I've had. It is the first one to be spent with my sweetheart. (Sort of spent - he's still in D.C. and I'm in Dallas.)
I'm hoping this didn't provoke the singles mixer thread, although I understand. I have to admit that I'm sort of stunned, even still. It's...I mean, I am a good ten years older than the expected Mormon bride age. I think that fits me, and it works out nicely since Matt's type is intelligent, older women ( ). I think the most amazing part is that I don't have to...bury any part of myself in order for us to get along. Matt's seen all the different flavors of Katie, including the not-as-nice Arguing Katie, and he likes all of me. I think...I think I would have been a great deal less worried when I was younger if I had known that it was possible for someone to fit me. I think there is someone for everyone, and that's worth waiting for.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am so glad you two have found someone. I have interacted at Hatrack more with you than with him, but I am constantly amazed how great this place is and how many wonderful things happen here on a regular basis.
One of the reasons I love my wife so much is for the very things you mentioned...she knows me, all of me, and somehow still loves me completely. We fit together wonderfully, and usually compliment each others weaknesses, and support each other even when we disagree.
I also love the place where he proposed, because Jenni and I went there on our honeymoon. The reflecting pool was closed because of the work being done on the WWII memorial, but since my uncle Bobby died on D-Day I didn't mind at all...the memorial was long overdue, and we got to see it being completed. It is a wonderful spot, really beautiful.
Congratulations to you both, may you both deserve each other for the rest of your lives. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
One of the unexpected good things about being married is there's no more split between "my life" and "my love life."
There's just life, and Eve lights up every bit of it. I'm so happy you two have found that for yourselves.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
I knew at Christmas where this was heading-- it was the first time I've ever heard you mention a boy and get that dreamy-eyed look... And I was secretly vowing to kick his butt if he didn't love you as much and make you happy. (Yes, Matt, she has a posse, and I'm a self-declared part of it.)
And, um, we can make Bountiful, it's not a long drive... If we're invited. Do you like knives? That seems to be the gift we're giving people who get married lately...
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Matt, you'd better watch out with the embarrassing her... She likes KNIVES!
(You can register for the ones you want or just tell us, Katie. E-mail Jeff so we have time to figure out what you're getting.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Congratulations! I couldn't be happier for you!
Ordinarily, I would be very apprehensive about an engagement after 3 months, but I'm not. You balance your passion with clearheadedness and self-awareness and I just know this is right.
Five months isn't very much time to plan. Have you registered yet?
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Congratulations, Katie! When we met the two of you in Salt Lake a couple months back, my impression was that you two made a great couple and were very happy. I'm glad to see that I was right. Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
How wonderful! That was a great story. Congratulations on the engagement, and have fun with the planning! My own wedding is coming up in less than three months ( ), and time is flying by.
So great! Stories like these make me so happy!
Posts: 1635 | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged |
Mrs. M: *hugs* We have, at Target and at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I've also already ordered my wedding dress, our parents have met, and we've settled on and scheduled places for the wedding and for the reception. I'm so thrilled about being happy about everything that I went a little bit nuts with the early planning.
I am also using the file folder that you sent me ages ago. Do you remember? It's been wonderful. I feel so organized. Thank you.
posted
You've probably gotten all the advice you want already, but if you haven't already bought your dress, you should get on that ASAP. Mormon weddings are generally easier to plan than others because the "venue" for the wedding itself is free and easy to schedule. But when I went dress shopping, I quickly found out that three months was not enough time to have a dress made, which is actually what usually happens. You pick out a dress in the store and order one in your size, and they start making it at that point.
I ended up being okay because I bought a dress in the store and had it altered to fit me. You could do the same, but it would limit your choices. I think four months should be enough time to have a dress made, but I'd pick one out soon just in case.
[Edit: Looks like you've already got that covered. And like I was too slow.]
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Mrs. M, that sounds a lot like what one of my best friends said when she found out about Bob's and my somewhat unusual courtship -- "If it were anyone else I'd be worried, but from you? This is normal."
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Heck, I got my dress the Monday before my wedding on Saturday...
This does not work when you're not a standard size. I had to have about a foot taken off the bottom of the dress I bought, and I had to have it taken up in the shoulders (so the neckline wasn't so . . . plunging) and taken in in the torso and sleeves.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I got the dress, and I love it, but it is missing a top third. I thought about getting a dress made, but a woman said it was easier to start with a dress that is mostly what I want and just add on shoulders and sleeves. So the bodice and skirt will be done, and when it arrives in April, we will need to add on the top part. Right now it's strapless and stops just above my cleavage.
I have the name of a dressmaker here in town that alters the prom and wedding dresses for people in my ward, so I think I need to go and talk to her soon. Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:This does not work when you're not a standard size.
Oh, did I forget to mention that I had it let out from an eight to a nine, altered for length, and had a panel put in back and lace put in front to make it Temple-ready?
Sorry, I'm a little proud of the fact that I was able to do that when my dress plan fell through-- and for a total of $170, $100 for the dress, $70 for rush alterations.
(It also helps to live in a city with a wonderful Garment District, have a friend who really knows how to haggle, and know someone whose mother helped the woman who owns the bridal/formal shop, who happens to be LDS, to start her business.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Katie, I just looked at your registry on the Bed Bath and Beyond site and I'm so buying you a Good N Plenty!
I already have a pattern for a wedding dress I want my mom to make me, just need to wait a few (six or seven) years, but I know it'll be silk charmuse.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Katie, I do remember!!! I'm so happy - it couldn't be put to better use.
Pool cues? Power hockey?
I had to have my dress altered for modesty, too. The bodice was square cut, so I had them put a panel in that covered my cleavage. They attached it with tiny snaps, so I could take it out for the reception. I called it my modesty panel and I keep it in one of my wedding boxes.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Does it involve ninjas?![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" 
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
I'm amazed you kept it quiet for this long. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
), and time is flying by.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
