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Underneath the blistering sun of Imperial Valley I grew in a place where the most common folk you see are single mothers living out of welfare, middle-class people who seemed to think life was pink colored, or homeless men asking for some change. My mother was one of the single mothers. After my mom literally tossed my father out the door when I was three and my brother five, she dedicated her life to us and to making sure we had a life worth living. My father wasn’t a man I could be proud of, he still isn’t. He used to torment my mother night and day with his delusions that she was being unfaithful to him when she was working at a textile factory, and by spying on her to make sure she wasn’t. Instead of looking for a job to raise our income, he would spend his days watching TV and eating the food my mother would prepare for my brother and I. One day, my mother was so sick and tired of her situation, that she got him out of the house, never to come back. I still remember being a referee to my parents; I didn’t like to see them fight. There was even a time when my mother hurled a porcelain figurine at him and she missed, hitting and breaking a mirror instead. After my father left, she went to court or something to get him to pay child support. The government used to take money out of his paycheck to send it to us, but it was always a minimal amount, $20 or so dollars every so often. Sometimes, even after she had the restraining order on him, he would come and visit my brother and I, bringing us five or ten dollars. But I didn’t like those visits. He made me feel less and less comfortable because I felt I was just meeting a stranger every time. I was too young when I stopped living with him, and I didn’t feel like he was my father, we lacked a connection. Whatever feeling I might have had for him, was completely obliterated the day he told me something awful about my mother that I knew was not true. He told me that the only reason she had left him was because she liked to “go around with other men.” I was shocked to here this, and I knew perfectly well what he meant by it, I was around 10 by then. Infuriated, I went inside and refused to go see him every time he came. My mother had never gotten a guy inside our house, I had never seen her with anyone else, and even if she had been going out with someone, it was her business and not ours. As far as I was concerned, as long as we didn’t notice, her image as a mother was still impeccable. I told my mother about it and she well…did something about it. I think she yelled at him or something but the argument was pretty serious. Anyway, she got over that and I got into junior high after I finished sixth grade. Ok, lets just skip this entire phase of my life, and go right into high school, ok. I started high school in summer school, were I was taking a class for Physics and Geometry. In my math class, I met a girl named Nancy Woo. She was the most talented artist I had ever met. She could draw and anime masterpiece in just 10 or 20 minutes. She was awesome. I still remember eating a mushroom pizza with her while watching a movie at school. She played cupid with me the first time I ever fell hard for a boy, this never amounted to much, and the guy didn’t like me. As school ended, I went to summer school then I moved here to El Cajon, CA. I made friends here at my new high school, and finally found out that my decision of becoming an animator wasn’t so bad. Its what I liked and there were opportunities in the field. I took a class on it during my junior year (I’m taking the second class right now), and I really liked it. During this year, I had one of the worst tragedies come to me, the death of someone I loved. My Grandfather died on January 30, 2004. I had never known what it felt like to have someone you cared about so much die. I was devastated and suddenly felt that anyone in my life could die any minute any time I had never felt so close to death, and that really made me more susceptible to negative thoughts: How much time did so-and-so have left before death came around? Am I going to die old and alone? Something like that you know. In April of that very same year, I read The Crystal City by OSC. I had been reading OSC since my 9th grade teacher; Michael Rodriguez introduced me to him. We read Ender’s Game, Speaker for the Dead, Seventh Son, and Red Prophet along with The Fellowship of the Ring. Anyway, I read the very last part of Crystal City where OSC talks about Papa Moose, his family and how they made it to the book. I was so surprised to see that OSC kept in touch with his fans unlike my other “favorite authors” that were just a dark figure in some lost corner of my mind. I joined Hatrack, and have been posting ever since. I chose my name as Altariel of Dorthonion because that’s what appeared on the Elvish name generator after I input the name: Namiko Leal Namiko is the "friendly" form of Namida, this had been my pseudonym on the Internet for quite a while, and Leal is my mother’s maiden name. I’m also a Leal in real life, that’s because us little Mexicans are registered with both last names. Take that, macho men! (Our last names are still second though…. grrrrrrr) Finally, I get to reveal my true name to Hatrack in this my first landmark. My real name is Vianey Guadalupe Gonzalez-Leal. There, that’s it. That’s me. I’ll never mention it again, so you better enjoy it this time around.
*GASP* There, my landmark is done. Thank you for reading.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I still remember the first day you visited Hatrack. We had a discussion about Dragon Balls. Thanks for sharing your story. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Altariel is a pretty screen name, Vianey. I've always liked it.
That's too bad about your dad. At least you had a good momma to take care of you. Interesting landmark, I liked it. Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Yeah, I was thinking about it. We should meet sometime in the summer. I'll be free to come and go as I please starting October, so we might be able to arrange something. ^.~
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Thanks for letting us get to know a little more about you, Altariel of Dorthonion. Vianey Guadalupe Gonzalez-Leal. Both beautiful names (and hard to spell!)
Sounds like you have been through a lot. I admire your strength, and I'm glad you're here.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Well written. Thank you for sharing that.
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