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Wow. Another 1000 posts. It got past me without looking.
I think I've been through more since my last landmark than in all the time before that. 8 months of fighting tooth and nail to save my marriage has only been the surface of it. I've changed drastically over that time.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you make me uncomfortable when you look at me... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you don't do enough to help me... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you don't want me around every chance I can get by... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you are just like your father and going to do what he did... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you're lazy and irresponsible and never going to accomplish anything, though you could do so much... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "you're reckless and you hurt me because you hate women... you're a bad man." And I believed her.
A girl I loved came up to me and said "I would never do anything like that...anyone who would is a bad man." And I believed her.
And I was angry and hurt and wanted them all to go away because they said I was bad.
And a girl I loved came up to me and told me "you don't have to listen to any of that anymore, because they aren't saying that--- you're inventing it." And I didn't believe her. But she made me stand beside myself and watch me do it. And suddenly, I knew that I had been hearing them wrong...
But I am learning to listen to what people actually say, and to let myself be a good man, and discovering that I am.
[ March 30, 2004, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: T. Analog Kid ]
Posts: 2112 | Registered: Sep 1999
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Which Julia Roberts movie was it where she said, "It's easier to believe the bad stuff."? I can't remember. But I remember the line because it's too true.
Here's something else true: I notice your posts and where I may skim others on a thread, I almost always slow down and read yours from start to finish. You rarely write without purpose or thought, and never post just for the sake of posting.
I'm glad you're here. Congratulations on your 2004th! Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Very good landmark. Self-revelation often involves revelation about how other's perceive us. It's especially wonderful when that revelation is given us by one of those others.
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TAK, that was a beautiful landmark. It really was.
I've always enjoyed your posts here... I've enjoyed you as a person, and I'm glad I got to know you, and become your friend. It makes me feel very privileged to have encountered someone as amazing as you.
*clinks glass* Here's to another 1000! Here's to hoping that next time, I know you even better still! I certainly hope that I can continue to get to know you, I admire you enormously.
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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TAK, if you've been a bad man, then the world needs a lot more bad men. I've always found you to be a fellow strong of spirit and gentle of advice. You've picked me up from some of my low points a time or two, and couldn't pick me out in a room full of people in person if you had to, that says a lot for a fellow's character.
If you've been such a valued friend to a fellow you've never met, I can only imagine how great of a man you must be for those whose lives you grace.
You're a fine man who might be learning to see that through other people's eyes. But something tells me you've got just enough humble in you to always take their opinions with a large dose of salt. Just remember what the doctors say, pal, too much salt is bad for the heart.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:And suddenly, I knew that I had been hearing them wrong...
Dude, it's time to take advantage of that weakness that God gave all men: whatever she says sounds like permission to buy the latest gadget or Craftsman tool. See ya at Harbor Freight dude!
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Will you be my uncle? I mean this in all honesty, I don't have many uncles I can look up to, I'd like to have one I can.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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ok... I was gonna wait 24 hrs to answer on this thread, but, blacwolve, that has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me -"Uncle Jim"
Thanks all for the very kind words, good laughs, and toasts... though I'm honestly surprised that no one said "with all those girls, no wonder your marriage is in trouble!"
[ March 31, 2004, 11:41 AM: Message edited by: T. Analog Kid ]
Posts: 2112 | Registered: Sep 1999
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I'm really, really glad you're here, TAK. I've never seen anything on Hatrack that'd even hint at you being a bad guy, and many MANY things that do much more than hint that you're a GOOD guy.
You play bass, right? Let's jam sometime! Posts: 1595 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I always tell people to call me on my bs because I can't fix something if I don't know it's broken. Well, I've learned that sometimes I have to be told the same thing over and over again before I'm ready to listen. Congratulations on being ready to listen and on 2000 posts.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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