posted
So here is the big news: I’M GETTING MARRIED! Few of you (Kayla for example, thank you so much!) know that Vincent (my companion) and I had an argument in May (or was it April?) because he didn’t feel ready to marry me and I didn’t understand why. Well, everything is perfect now, he feels he’s ready and we will marry each other on 2004, May, the 8th. Isn’t that wonderful? I feel so happy I could jump everywhere and shout loud my happiness! So since it’s an important time in my life, I decided to write my first landmark thread. Get ready; here I go! I’m a French woman, I’m 21 years old (22 on November, the 28th), I live in Lille, I just finished my studies and I’m searching for a job. That’s for now. But how did I begin… My parent were both working in social jobs, understand that they were working with children (and parents) who have difficulties, because of a handicap, a sickness, or tragic events in the family… My mother stopped working after my sister was born, in 1973. Two years later my other sister was born, and six years later it was my turn. My parents stopped there. Sometimes it’s difficult with my sisters, as in every family, but we really love each other and that’s what matters, after all. I had a normal childhood, except that before I was 16, I hadn’t many friends. Because of my love for loneliness, or because of the other’s intolerance in front of my love for books or my lack of religion (I’m not baptized), I don’t know and don’t really want to know. So I didn’t like school much, even if I worked well. When I was 16, I decided to be more open to the others, to try harder to have friends. It worked quite well, but I hadn’t real friends, people to who you can tell everything, no deep link with anyone. However, it was better than nothing. The year of my 18 years was the most difficult of my life. On summer 1999, we learnt that my mother had a cancer. She smoked a lot so I suppose I should have been prepared to that eventuality, but I wasn’t. So I had to go to Lille (I lived in a small village) from Mondays to Saturdays morning to study, and in the same time my mother was fighting against cancer and she was growing weaker and weaker. Maybe some of you have seen a person you love grow weaker and half lose his head and personality. It’s very hard. She died in August 2000. When I think about her death of course I miss her, but I also think that it was a grace for her to stop suffering and maybe join a paradise… My mother was a strong person, full of love and always ready to give some around her, and to understand everyone. When she died I felt very embarrassed with my father, and I realized that except when I was a very little girl, I never had real links with him, it was always my mother who explained my his reactions, and mine to him. So it became very difficult for me to communicate with him. A few months before my mother’s death, I had begun to sing in a students’ choral group. I found true friends there, who comforted me, sometimes clumsily but always with their heart when my mother died. A few months after her death came a new boy in the choral group. Well, no need to make you wait: it was Vincent. He wasn’t a student but we accepted anyone under the age of 30, so he was welcome. His parents lived near Bordeaux; he had made his studies around Lyon, and had spent a year and a half in Australia for his military obligations. Back from Australia, he decided to come to Lille just like that, with no link in the town, and founded a job (he works as a computerist). That’s why he came to our choral group: to sing, of course (and what a good singer!) but to know new people, too. We came closer and closer to each other, and in April 2001 we decided to tell each other our love, and very quick we lived together. About one year after the moment Vincent and I decided to live together, I lived a sort of miracle. I had decided to get rid of a problem I had had for a very long time: I was able to eat only a few aliments. If I tried anything else, I was sick. My mother told me I was that way since I was one year and a half. It was hard for Vincent, because he loves food like a lot of people in the part of France he comes from, and it was hard for him not to be able to share that pleasure with me. So I came and see a psychoanalyst (when you are student, you can see one for free, in some towns in France).After a few meetings, I wasn’t feeling better. Then Vincent, I and a few friends came and see a movie, « Le voyage de Chihiro » (it’s a Japanese movie, I don’t know how the title has been translated in English). It was very moving to me, and when Vincent and I were almost asleep, at home after the movie, I had a sort of picture in front of my eyes: I saw my father, very sick, and I understood it has something to do with my own sickness. Then I felt a strange sensation right in my stomach, and from that day, I have been able to eat what I wanted to (except frog’s legs, I can’t stand it ). I talked about that to my father, and it would be difficult to explain completely, let’s say when I was 18 month old, I saw something that made me think that food was dangerous, and therefore I tried to restrict the kind of food I ate. I call that a miracle, because usually you don’t heal from such an ancient traumatism in just four meetings with a psychoanalyst. Anyway, it made my life easier, and Vincent had some great joy by taking me to the restaurant or cooking for both of us. These years are the most beautiful of my life. Vincent is a wonderful person, beautiful, excellent singer, very clever and with a good heart. What else could I ask for? Love changed my life so deeply that sometimes I can’t think that I was very cynical before I met Vincent. Love is a gift, and requires a lot of work, too, but it’s worth to. Sometimes I think that God gives everyone that chance to meet the very person with who you can live that kind of love, and then let everyone to decide if they want to live that love, both of them. I was 19 when Vincent and I decided to live together, it may seem very young, but it was the right time for me and for him. So now we decided to get married and I can’t believe my joy and happiness. That’s what I wanted to share with you. Thanks everyone, and forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes: my English isn’t as good as I would like it to!
Anna.
[ October 06, 2003, 08:18 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
I'm also 21 and living with my boyfriend of 3 years - we've discussed marriage and think it will probably happen in the next year or so.
I know a lot of people think I'm very young to be so committed, but I agree that when you love someone it's not age that is necessarily the deciding factor.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Anna, my dear, what a wonderful story! Thank you for the honor you do me by being my acolyte! Your happiness fills me with joy! <touches Anna on the forehead>
<dances and sings with happiness>
Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Annie, when will you come in France ? My futur husband and I may have our honeymoon in Australia after the wedding, but we sure will be back in July. And I'll be pleased to see you !
[ October 06, 2003, 11:47 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've never particularly liked the first part of my name, but I'm realizing that there are an awful lot of cool Annas in this world. You rock Anna! (the only Anna that will actually be Anna on Hatrack!)
posted
Wow! Correct me if I'm wrong, Anna, but I seem to remember a thread a while back where you said you thought you'd be a spinstress for the rest of your life Mucho congrats!
Posts: 353 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
I'm glad you found your Mr. Right, and I'm avoiding speaking French because I'm avoiding doing my French homework. But we're glad to have you here!!! (((Anna)))
Also, the movie you mentioned is called Spirited Away in America. ^__^
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
You discount your grasp of our language. I've taken two years of Spanish, one semester of immersive French, and dropped a quarter of German.
I can barely remember what to use to get by in California (Spanish) but have to use it, so it's a good, broken, Spanglish.
I can remember a little more French. That sink-or-swim technique of teaching it was very effective for me. But I have trouble writing it. (I wound up using tourist phrases.)
There is a good reason I dropped German. (Really.)
But, your command of our language is exceptional. Thank you and Congratulations on both counts!
Posts: 1843 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
oh, and the japanese movies you speak of is called "Spirited Away" in america. it is a wonderful movie, indeed!
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thanks everyone ! By the way, *, it wasn't that : I just complained because of a stupid argument Vincent and I had, and was afraid of him let me down, since he didn't want to marry me. But it was just a misunderstood and now we're so happy !
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes, that's funny : a lot of people keep thinking I'm Annie and she's Anna. Our names are close, and we both have a great interest in France, so...
[ October 07, 2003, 07:17 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm twenty-one, and been living with a man for three years as well. Granted, we've been married but the point is, we got married very early, and we're still going strong. Although it can be good to get a lot of life experience before committing, it's true that when you have found a person that you know is willing to make the big sacrifices for you, and you are ready to do that too, then age isn't that important. I certainly feel that 21 is well into an age where someone can make this decision. I wish you well and good luck to you both!
If you start feeling saucy, please send me some Arlequin candy. *GASP* I only have FOUR left! AHHHHHH!
Posts: 264 | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
MaureenJanay, are you serious ? I could try to send you some, but I don't know if the Customs would let it go in America. By the way, I didn't know you couldn't find Arlequin in the USA ! How did you get the ones you have ?
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
and I may have our honeymoon in Australia after the wedding, but we sure will be back in July. And I'll be pleased to see you !![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
but the point is, we got married very early, and we're still going strong. Although it can be good to get a lot of life experience before committing, it's true that when you have found a person that you know is willing to make the big sacrifices for you, and you are ready to do that too, then age isn't that important. I certainly feel that 21 is well into an age where someone can make this decision. I wish you well and good luck to you both!
