posted
Okay, bit of an awkward question, at least from my point of view.
What do you guys think of strip clubs?
We had our work Christmas party at one last night, and the whole thing was sort of bizarre. It was fun for what it was I guess, and an interesting experience, but I wouldn't be too keen on going again. Beyond the whole sitting and watching aspect, the whole idea of women pretending to be interested in me in order to make me happy is just a huge turnoff. I think it requires either a big ego, or a powerful suspension of disbelief, neither of which I have in adequate quantities.
Am I weird? Or are other guys weirded out by strip clubs?
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
Strip clubs are usually lame. A former co-worker of mine used to be the coke dealer for one of the higher-class local strip clubs. Though a total criminal, he was actually pretty intelligent. He called them "beautiful idiots" LOL.
That's not to say that I think all strippers are dim bulbs. Some are probably pretty smart. Maybe not the majority, though.
Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Never been to one. (afaik, you need to be 21 to get into most of them)
That said, the idea is both appealing and repulsive to me. Appealing because I certainly love boobies. Repulsive because I have a friend who used to be a stripper, she said it was a pretty rough job, and she never enjoyed it. I realise there are probably some women who genuinely enjoy stripping, but the knowledge that there's a likelihood the woman taking off her clothes for me is disgusted by what she's doing is too much of turnoff. I'd just feel pity or disgust, not lust.
I doubt I'll ever go to one.
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posted
My only experience in a strip club was the opposite of awesome, and I have no interest in ever going to another one.
Posts: 1314 | Registered: Jan 2006
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Agree...strip clubs suck. My wife looks better than most the workers so I might be skewed in my perception. Even before I was married, I didn't like the idea of paying extra to share a drink with a woman. Strip clubs are for losers.
I've discussed this topic with my wife before. Often a man cheats with a woman who is less attractive than his wife. He cheats not due to his attraction, rather hers to him. Men want a woman to adore them; at a strip club, you're a king if you have enough money. Stale marriages are destroyed by a lesser women who show an interest in the man.
Posts: 1495 | Registered: Mar 2009
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quote:Originally posted by scifibum: I'm kind of amazed that a workplace would have a party at a strip club. What kind of work do you do Lyrhawn?
Let me guess. Professional golfer?
Tiger Woods? Don't judge golf for his behavior. Multitudes of NBA and NFL athletes have behaved the same. NFL and NBA athletes have dozens of children in dozens of states. Tiger only made the news since he's a golfer. He's the firsts golfer to break the racial mold. It's unfortunate he brought with him the stereotypical behavior of an NBA athlete.
Posts: 1495 | Registered: Mar 2009
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posted
I work at a restaurant actually. The party wasn't paid for by the restaurant, we all just went there and called it the Christmas party.
And I'm relieved to hear you guys talk about it. Everyone else there seemed to be having a really good time, but I just felt so awkward. And when girls came over to try and talk, my only thought was "what do you say to a stripper? And why bother when you know she's just going to pretend to find you funny or attractive?" The whole thing just felt incredibly disrespectful (probably because it IS disrespectful).
The whole thing sharply brought into focus for me the role that genuine emotions and feelings play in attraction. It's not all, or maybe even mostly about looks. There were a couple of very, very attractive girls there. But the insincerity of the situation ruined almost all of my actual attraction to them.
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Actually, if anyone has seen the movie "8 Mile," that's where I was. Wasn't the nicest part of town.
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I went to one once. Meh. I was not sufficiently impressed enough with the experience to return. I wouldn't avoid it either, I just don't really hang out with the kind of people who go to those places.
It was a bit awkward at first. I loosened up a little after a couple drinks, but it wasn't the kind of place I was interested in continuing to frequent.
I don't particularly have anything against them on principle, it's just not for me.
And I live in Vegas.
Posts: 1080 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Sean Monahan: I wouldn't avoid it either, I just don't really hang out with the kind of people who go to those places.
I don't know about everybody else, but that pretty much sums up my position on the issue. I personally find real conversations with real women (who aren't buck naked when we first meet) more stimulating. What's hotter than a woman who has even more bookish geeky knowledge than me? Well, not some random stripper. Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
I've been to a decent number of strip clubs for a girl. Been to about 7, one of them maybe 10 times. Two of my friends have worked in a strip club, one of them for several years. I visited her to keep her company on her slow nights, sometimes.
I like watching them dance, and I like talking with them. I really like the classic atmosphere of some of them (not the sleazy room-in-a-basement feel). I've only gotten one lap dance though (my friend). I think the price and the germs(cooties) would prevent me from getting more lap dances.
If it matters to the discussion, I'm somewhere on the spectrum of more-straight-than-lesbian. And my friend is a super geek stripper.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Geeky strippers might be kind of sexy. I always had a thing for the four eyed librarian. Maybe that's why I married a nerdy English teacher with a nice body. Posts: 1495 | Registered: Mar 2009
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Of course, depending on the place it wouldn't be just looking anymore, but I'm thinking of the pure "strip club" part as a platonic ideal, not any of the variables.
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But we accept and do this all the time. Artwork. Erotic photography. Erotic literature. Depending on the state/local laws, it may be more than look. The tease is its own draw as well.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
I guess women can participate too, but I'm trying to see where I fit into the spectrum of male opinion. A lot of the other guys I've ever talked to in person are really into strip clubs, so I was thinking I was some weird oddball for not really being into it as much.
The female opinion doesn't really help me measure myself against guys in general.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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My best friend use to DJ in a few, and he made great cash. He also booked DJ's for two of them, and I was one of the only people he knew who had DJ experience.
I also am one of the only ones who never DJ'd for him there.
I also never ended up in the ER, had a stripper try to kill me or run me over with a car, or anything else like that. All of the other guys I knew who ended up working there DID, believe it or not. A lot of the strippers get drunk or high before going on stage, particularly if they are new to it.
I know a lot of women who did that type of work to get financially secure, or raise a kid, or even finish their Masters degree ( 2 of them for that, actually). But most of the ones I knew started off as good people but ended up somewhere on the trash heap of life. Most of them got into drugs, and almost all of them ended up being a liability as an acquaintance, let alone as a friend.
I don't object to strip clubs, and have no issue with anyone who wants to go to one, but it is a waste to me. A waste of time, of money, and even of desire.
I know not everyone agrees with me, but I am not claiming to speak for everyone. Just for me.
I'd go if a friend really wanted to, I guess, or for a bachelor party, but other than that I don't like them.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Heh...this reminds me of a story, one that explains part of why I love my wife so much.
I live in a small FL town these days, and there is (to my knowledge) one strip club in town. It's called Body Shots, or something, and is a little out of the way but on a main street, so even people who don't go to it know where it is.
I play pool. A LOT of pool, although not as much as I use to. I am trying to get my game back to a respectable level so I can compete in serious tournaments again, and part of the problem is finding good compitition wihtout losing my shirt. I hate gambleing, because you never know if someone is stringing you along, and half the time people get pissy when you beat them.
But tourneys are great. You know how much you are risking right up front, people want to win so they plan hard, and no one gets their noses out of joint if you beat them.....not usually, anyways.
Body Shot's has a tournament, and despite being in a strip club they draw a really good, talented crowd on that night. Some of the players there are serious money players, and I couldn't play them for less than $20 a set, or more, something I will not do.
I had one of the really good shots invite me to go once, so I went.
Once.
Unlike MOST people there I told my wife where I was going. She laughed, and wished me luck. I went, and did OK. I beat the guy who invited me, and came in second, I think.
My wife was telling someone at work that I play, and that I had taken second place the night before, and the lady she was talking to at work asked where I had played. My wife told her, and she got a horrified look on her face. She himmed and hawed, then said " Honey, I hate to tell you this, but he was at....a STRIP CLUB!".
Without missing a beat my wife replied " Oh, don't worry, it's OK. He was only there for the POOL!", and walked away. In her mind she knew that's the only reason I went.
She knows me well, my wifey does. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: Or are other guys weirded out by strip clubs?
My feelings on the matter are complex, and I grapple with them from time to time. I don't often go to strip clubs, in part because I can't afford to; on the other hand, the limited extent to which I'm in touch with my sexuality at all owes everything to paid professionals.
There are certainly healthier options, though, and if those are available to you, then I can't see any reason not to opt for them instead.
Posts: 884 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I dusted off my Cuetech the other day. My wife let me play with our neighbor at a local club. It that local club was a strip club, she wouldn't have let me go.
Posts: 1495 | Registered: Mar 2009
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posted
I've only been to a strip club a few times in the last 5 or 6 years. All for bachelor parties, where I didn't have any choice in the matter. They don't really interest me these days. Mostly because I feel there are better things I can be doing with my time and money, but also because I can't help but think about the girls dancing, and what their reasons for dancing are, and how they're being treated, etc...as well as the fake nature of the whole experience.
But when I was a bit younger, though I never went to strip clubs regularly, I certainly enjoyed myself when I did go. And worth noting, my enjoyment was directly proportional to the amount of alcohol I had imbibed. So I certainly understand the appeal of the places. This type of entertainment is certainly not new, and it shouldn't be a shocker how prevalent it is.
Posts: 8741 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I'm kinda intrigued by the obvious sampling biases here. So far we don't have anyone coming out and saying "Yeah they're AWESOME" and a whole lotta people saying they're awkward, but Hatrack demographics are prefer far outside the norm in terms of bookishness, and I assume that even those of us who are perfectly outgoing at this point would have been pretty introverted during formative years when you'd have been likely to have been acclimated to strip clubs in the first place.
So... reassuring as it may be to know you are not alone, it doesn't say a lot about how you compare to the general population.
I don't have any relevant experience here, and I suspect that if I did end up a strip club I would probably default to an awkward "fourth wall breaking" defensive strategy, asking the strippers probing questions about how they got into the business and what percentage of the guys they deal with are remotely attractive. Which would probably ruin the experience for whatever guys I ended up in a strip club with. Dunno what the girls themselves would think.
Posts: 4136 | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote:Originally posted by malanthrop: I dusted off my Cuetech the other day. My wife let me play with our neighbor at a local club. It that local club was a strip club, she wouldn't have let me go.
Well, my wife doesn't "let" me go anywhere. But all joking aside, if she was uncomfortable about it I may not have gone, for her sake. That's why I made sure she knew what type of place it was, and why I was not sure I wanted to go.
Of course, if you use a Cuetech, you might not know anything about "real pool". ...
(I had one, it was a great breaking cue))
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Kwea, where are you living now? I thought it was Ocala and I can't imagine they only have one strip club.
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
I could see a fantasy/scifi themed one potentially being interesting like those maid cafe's in Japan only for adults only. But the waitresses would need to be "into" the source material and be talkative.
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Ray, from my experience, many would lie to you. They deal in fantasy. In general, they're there to make money in an anonymous fashion. The experienced ones will answer in a way that protects their identity and sounds appealing.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Yeah, a strip club is a totally unappealing concept, to me. I might as well go to a place that only allows you to look at food when you're really hungry.
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And you can usually sense that the girls are not having much fun with their work, and don't really want to interact with the customers. Feels too fakey to me.
I don't find the concept of a strip club to be degrading for women (or for men, if you have male strippers) by principle. There is nothing essentially wrong with titillating people sexually, as a job. But the atmosphere in these place is just usually pretty joyless and boring.
I've known a few strippers over the years, and some have been very exhibitionist people who have enjoyed working on the stage. I've also known some porn actors, who had similar motivations.
I've had some positive experiences with go-go bars in Thailand, despite being well aware of the social problems and poor backgrounds of most workers in them. Sometimes the girls are just clearly having a blast on stage, and they can genuinely enjoy your company when they sit down with you.
Girls can't undress in go-go bars, but on the other hand a lot of them are very, very beautiful, and sexy lingerie is often more visually pleasing than nudity, IMHO.
Posts: 273 | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
In Hong Kong they have a street called Lockhart Road and it's essentially where tons of bars, and strip clubs are located, prostitutes hang out there. It's legal to enter a strip club once you are 18 years old, but it's not remotely enforced. They even have dancers (they don't dance out front they just talk to people) who sit in front of the establishment attempting to get the passerby to come in.
I never went into one when I was younger, I'm not interested if a girl isn't genuinely interested in me. While I would probably refuse to go to a strip club, unless it was an extenuating circumstance, (somebody is going to die if you don't go inside) if I was inside one and strippers were talking to me, I'd probably indicate I wasn't there for their more exotic expertise but that I'd be happy to talk as friends.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Ray, interesting thought re: the sampling bias.
Personally, I have been to a handful of strip clubs, and my experience has ranged from "a lot of fun" to "dreadful". It depends on a whole host of things, from the atmosphere of the club to the crowd you're with to the reason you're going.
I mean, going to a strip club with the characters from "40-Year Old Virgin" is going to be a totally different experience than going with the characters from "Big Bang Theory". And if you really don't like House/Trance music, then a club that only plays that at blaring levels isn't going to be any fun regardless of who you're with (whether it's a strip club, or a dance club).
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
That's something that really frustrated me about the one dance club I went to - the freakishly loud music. There is a decibel level at which louder stops making it more awesome and starts just making it stupid. I did have fun dancing (even if I wasn't very good at it) for about an hour. Then I was like "okay... I'm tired now. I wanna sit and talk to people." But you can only talk to one person at a time because you have to lean all the way into their ear. And you still have to yell.
Also, while I have no particular problem with Techno musc, I'd like some variety. I hear that there are some clubs who will, say, play Techno on Fridays and Country on Saturdays and Classic Rock on Sundays, but that doesn't help the fact that I'd like some of each.
Of course, what I'd like even more is a club that played Weird Al. (What really drove me nuts was a very narrow range of "silliness" that was expected at the club. You were allowed, perhaps encouraged, to act a little silly, but go beyond a certain threshold and suddenly everyone looked at you funny. I figure a Weird Al/Barenakedladies club would attract the right people, but I have a feeling there isn't enough population density of the people in question to make it profitable.)
Posts: 4136 | Registered: Aug 2008
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posted
Quite apart from the sampling bias from Hatrack's intellectual level, who is going to admit enjoying them, especially after forty posts saying they're kind of awkward?
That said, I do quite like looking at naked women, but that's not exactly what a strip club offers, or not only that. You have to take the experience for what it is, to wit, you're paying these women to do very intimate stuff and get nothing personal in return. I think it's a dominance fantasy as much as plain erotica. After all, if you just wanted plain nekkid women, there's any number available for free on the interwebs. (Although there is a difference between pictures on a screen and actually being there, of course.)
There's also perhaps some attraction of forbidden fruit. I recall I was rather nervous the first time I walked into one; there's an illicitness (illiticity?) that adds some spice, at least the first couple of times. I've sometimes thought that having taboos on sex is useful not so much for their old purpose of controlling pregnancies as for the fun of breaking them.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I think unreserved enjoyment might actually be quite rare. Unless you're rich the expense has to be a downside for just about anybody.
I've done some people watching (outside the expected kind) in those places, though, and there are guys that seem to genuinely enjoy talking with the dancers, and the dancers seem to enjoy it as well. I can never hear what they talk about, though. I wonder if it's all some kind of flirtatious Dirty Talk Lite, or if they are going on about sports games, or what. I can never think of anything to say, not that the environment is particularly conducive to conversation.
It seems to be a lot more common, though, for guys in there (including myself) to seem kind of joyless, as Tuukka noted. Guys who will smile at a dancer if she makes eye contact, but otherwise just kind of sit and stare. Dole out the singles on cue. (Or sit further back and just do nothing but sit and stare.) Not really looking happy - hypnotized, maybe, but not cheerful. Judging by my own mindset, sitting there feeling a little foolish, slightly titillated, and frustrated.
Drunk guys in groups always seem to have more fun. But I have never had friends who would go to a strip club in a group, so I don't know whether that would hold true for me. Guys in there with women in their party might be able to synthesize the visual entertainment with more genuine interactions with women, which I suppose might work out for them.
^above all about the look but don't touch variety.
quote:That said, I do quite like looking at naked women, but that's not exactly what a strip club offers, or not only that. You have to take the experience for what it is, to wit, you're paying these women to do very intimate stuff and get nothing personal in return.
If there's something other than nekkidness going on, then I think I'd find it a lot more enjoyable while it was going on. A lap dance or being allowed to touch makes it a lot more similar to a john/prostitute interaction. In some places there is unequivocal prostitution. Of course, this also introduces new downsides and magnifies others. More cost, more risk (of disease, of fallout in existing relationships), more stigma/guilt/whatever. So while I'd enjoy it more while I was there, I'd also feel quite a bit worse about it when I was done, and might have other consequences too.
quote:Quite apart from the sampling bias from Hatrack's intellectual level, who is going to admit enjoying them, especially after forty posts saying they're kind of awkward?
So yeah, this is me admitting that I could definitely enjoy it, and more so the more intimate the interaction with the entertainer is. But not unreservedly, and not without corresponding downsides. And at the point where if I was feeling really lonely and flush with cash I might want to go ahead and do it, it would not be OK with my wife, generally speaking [she might be OK with authorizing a lap dance on very rare occasions, but it'd require explicit and precisely delineated permission].
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posted
Strip clubs, in my mind, are a closed environment that allow for behavior not generally acceptable in public.
In a way, they are akin to paintball fields. You can't go out dressed in camo with a gun and shoot people on the street, but you can pay money to do it in a controlled environment with people who are expecting to be shot.
If you were go to the beach and stare at scantily clad women and ask them to dance while sitting on your lap, that's not exactly socially acceptable behavior. But, you can pay money to do it in a controlled environment with women who are expecting that sort of behavior. There is no shame in staring - as it is no longer a social transaction, but a financial one.
You're not going to make an exotic dancer uncomfortable by watching her and staring at her body, though you are expected to pay for this through tips (financial, not social). However, doing the same in an office could be grounds for sexual harassment. The controlled environment of the club eliminates social costs by replacing them with monetary costs.
But again, it all depends on who you're with, where you go, and why you're there. Going out to a strip club with great rock music for a bachelor party with college fraternity buddies is going to be a very different experience than going out to a techno strip club because you're bored on a Wednesday night with your more socially awkward D&D buddies.
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Unless you're rich the expense has to be a downside for just about anybody.
Well yes, but this is true of any sort of entertainment whatsoever, including going to the latest Disney movie with the kiddies. It's not particular to strip clubs.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Expense is a matter of personal choice. Most clubs have a cover charge to get in (dance clubs not excluded). Once inside, it is expected to at least tip singles to any dancer you watch - but anything beyond that is choice.
I've seen guys drop $300+, and I've seen guys walk out after only paying $30. To be honest, I've been out with guys whose bar tabs have been in the $150+ range, too.
As with anything, it's best to set a budget going in - whether you're going to a casino, a bar, a strip club, the track... or even a shopping mall.
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
I've probably been to strip clubs about 10 times in my life. The experience does seem to vary quite a bit depending on the type of club, the people you are with, and the amount of alcohol you drink.
The most fun I've had was probably when Niki and I went to one together and we had consumed a fair amount of alcohol. There were quite a few women there, probably 30% of the crowd or more. That seems to improve the atmosphere.
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quote:Originally posted by scifibum: Actually, I think strip clubs have a particular tendency to empty the wallet.
Ok, so you keep fifty bucks in your wallet, or whatever you're going to spend. You could maybe argue that it's expensive per unit time, but then so is eating at a really good restaurant. For any given entertainment, you go in with some expectation of what you're going to spend and what you're going to get out of it.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:That said, I do quite like looking at naked women, but that's not exactly what a strip club offers, or not only that. You have to take the experience for what it is, to wit, you're paying these women to do very intimate stuff and get nothing personal in return.
If there's something other than nekkidness going on, then I think I'd find it a lot more enjoyable while it was going on. A lap dance or being allowed to touch makes it a lot more similar to a john/prostitute interaction.
I'm of the opinion that being naked where others are clothed is of itself an intimacy. The customers are getting a position of power even without any touching going on; to wit, they dictate what the stripper shall wear, and they demonstrate their power by making her wear nothing, breaking the nudity taboo. Indeed, they literally strip her of the power of clothing. Naked is vulnerable.
Of course, this is all about perception. It might be just as valid to argue that the stripper is exercising power by taunting the customers, charging them for the privilege of merely looking at her body. This actually is a case where both views can in some sense be right, because they are referring to experiences taking place in different brains; for social structures like this, there is no truth of the matter outside individual experience. Of course you can pile up evidence for one view of the other, for example by pointing out that the stripper is the one who gets down on all fours and offers her hindquarters in classic primate submissiveness, or alternatively that it's the stripper who goes home 400 dollars richer for an hour's work, while the customer has blue balls. But in the end it comes down to the fact that both parties are there by some sort of consent, and the power relationship is all in their heads.
Then again, maybe I'm just overcomplicating things by projecting my own kinks onto others. Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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All of the other guys I knew who ended up working there DID, believe it or not. A lot of the strippers get drunk or high before going on stage, particularly if they are new to it.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
