posted
At work today, somebody made a joke about me being a racist.
At least, they claimed they meant it as a joke. This is someone I've had problems with before, largely on the matter of ship dates. I've been directed to make sure my teams get jobs with the earliest ship dates first, so that work leaves the plant on time.
This person prefers to grab the largest jobs no matter what the ship date, so that they'll have a large count at the end of the day.
This morning I had to pull a considerable amount of work off their table because it was stuff that wasn't due until three weeks from now, in order to make room for old and late work.
The person chewed me out, then said I was only doing this because they were black and I was a racist.
Now...I don't show emotion much. I can't display it easily, for some reason. So if it ever does come out, it really erupts out.
I exploded. I almost walked out of the plant, then and there.
The person seemed surprised by my reaction, kept asking around the team why I couldn't take a joke? Most of the rest of the team hadn't been paying attention, and were shocked that I had gone from being stone-faced and mostly silent to red-faced and furious.
My lead and my supervisor talked to me, talked to him, but he claims he didn't say anything wrong.
It occurred to me: What if he honestly believes that? We live in a world where it seems nothing is off limit for humor anymore. Even the most vile, offensive, poisonous remarks are played as "funny" in some entertainment programs.
But real life isn't entertainment. I'm a person, not a punchline, and my feelings were deeply hurt by such a remark.
I just don't understand how someone could think that was funny, or acceptable.
posted
That sucks, and especially, it sucks that someone wouldn't realize why that might be offensive to you. I think that's the flipside sometimes between white/black interactions. I've had something sort of similar happen to me before too. I didn't flip out or anything, but I reacted strongly, and the guy I was talking to was flabbergasted that I'd be offended by the joke he made.
quote:I just don't understand how someone could think that was funny, or acceptable.
I think you already touched on the reason why when you mentioned entertainment programs. There are a lot of serious things that people don't take seriously anymore. Some of that is a good thing, some of it is not. You got hit with the bad end.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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It sounds like the the person was upset and shamed by having the work pulled off the table, and people often say stupid or offensive things when they are upset...at the time making the accusation might have seemed like a way to "win" the situation. Perhaps the person had come to think of this as some kind of trump card, and expected you to back down or even apologize immediately. This would be wrong, but I'm stipulating the person wasn't thinking clearly or intelligently at this point. (I agree that maybe examples of this situation in entertainment programs might have planted the seed for the idea.)
Then to save face, since this person was clearly in the wrong, he pretended it was a joke. I doubt he really thought it was funny at the time he said it (based on the facts as you have relayed them).
I think you should try to let it go at this point rather than press to get him to admit he was in the wrong. I assume you've already explained why it upset you. It was wrong, but since it has only happened once it isn't worth making a stand.
However, if he says this again, continues to make it an issue even though you're doing nothing to deserve it - then, IMO, you should get on the record early with your HR department and your boss and his boss that you're being treated in a hostile manner for no reason. It might indicate he's trying to set the stage for an official complaint against you, but even if not, you shouldn't have to put up with something that might affect your reputation and other working relationships.
BTW: if you do end up raising the issue with your management and HR folks, make sure you're as calm and matter of fact as humanly possible. I think you should try very hard not to display animosity toward the person no matter how vile he's acting.
Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Mention it to HR NOW. Take my advice on it, you don't want to get hit with this 6 months from now and not have an official record.
I have to go to my unemployment hearing on Monday, and because I didn't file harassment and retaliation charges as soon as it happened, if I mention it now it just seems like sour grapes.
You can even say you don't want any disciplinary action, just want it on the record in case it happens again.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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