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Author Topic: New column: A pause for station re-identification
Chris Bridges
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A pause for station re-identification


Bowing to the pressures of the fiercely competitive market, struggling television networks The WB and UPN announced yesterday that they would merge into a new network called "CW" in a move that stunned millions of shocked viewers who had never heard of either network before.

Both networks have been competing for the same 18-34 year-old viewers, even to the point of entering random houses at night and forcing hapless teenagers to watch "One Tree Hill" at gunpoint. But neither UPN or The WB have achieved financial success despite the brilliant, envelope-pushing marketing of, respectively, a schizophrenic Star Trek show and an animated frog.

Now with this new venture, named after the first letters of current network owners CBS (Corporation) and Wacko Warner (Animaniac), CW has the opportunity to trim back the failing shows, push the good ones, and otherwise cram everything together into a programming juggernaut of well-meaning mediocrity. It can't fail.

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Kwea
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lol
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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris Bridges:
A pause for station re-identification

Bowing to the pressures of the fiercely competitive market, struggling television networks The WB and UPN announced yesterday that they would merge into a new network called "CW" in a move that stunned millions of shocked viewers who had never heard of either network before.

Both networks have been competing for the same 18-34 year-old viewers, even to the point of entering random houses at night and forcing hapless teenagers to watch "One Tree Hill" at gunpoint. But neither UPN or The WB have achieved financial success despite the brilliant, envelope-pushing marketing of, respectively, a schizophrenic Star Trek show and an animated frog.

Now with this new venture, named after the first letters of current network owners CBS (Corporation) and Wacko Warner (Animaniac), CW has the opportunity to trim back the failing shows, push the good ones, and otherwise cram everything together into a programming juggernaut of well-meaning mediocrity. It can't fail.

"Can't"? <sigh> Why do you have to say things like that. It's like daring them. Tempting fate. We're going to wind up losing Everwood and Veronica Mars and keeping the dreck.
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Chris Bridges
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I liked Maureen Ryan's suggestion:

quote:
Get "Buffy," "Angel" and "Firefly" creator Joss Whedon on the phone and have him whip up one of his patented, obsessively loved cult dramas. Cowboys in space, vampire detectives, superhero gals -- whatever. But making Whedon the cornerstone of this night would be a smart move (and in this iTunes-oriented and DVD-crazed age, there’s no doubt The CW would make a mint from ancillary sales of any Whedon drama).

It would make sense to pair up Whedon’s new show with the critically acclaimed “Veronica Mars” (which Whedon adores and has guested on). The downside: My head might explode from sheer joy.


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Synesthesia
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shame on you!
Got me laughing my @$$ off at work!

"Some Half-Hour Comedy Featuring Brothers/Sisters/Divorced Partners/Potential Romantic Leads Of The Right Ethnic/Age Demographic Who Are Forced to Work/Live Together Despite Their Differences, Plus Their Wacky Friends and Nutty Parents" -- It sells itself.

[ROFL]

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TheTick
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Dude, I thought you had made that up. I mean, UPN and the WB merging? It's laughable!

And then I saw the newspaper the next day.

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blacwolve
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quote:
Originally posted by TheTick:
Dude, I thought you had made that up. I mean, UPN and the WB merging? It's laughable!

And then I saw the newspaper the next day.

I just came in here to post just that.

WB and UPN are the only networks with shows I like. I'm very worried.

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Sopwith
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Chris, there's gotta be a member of the Wayans family in the lineup somewhere...
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