posted
please forgive me for being tool lazy to find my last thread on this subject. All I can say is that I'm exhausted, and really that is just an excuse. (Not that I'm not exhausted, it's just that I'm using it as an excuse for my laziness.)
My 6 yr old son and I are moved into my parents now. It is nice being at home with the family. We'll be here awhile. I haven't really made many decisions aout my future.
We got moved out of our apartment on exactly Dec 31st, last day of the lease. I was VERY sick and nearly caught pneumonia, and let the hubby (soon to be ex) do the clean up. I went to a powwow that night. From a physical health perspective, it was a stupid thing to do, but from a psychlogical health persepctive it was just what I needed. My son really enjoyed it too, since the rest of the holiday season was rather harried and noncelebratory.
I had some good friends from the homeschool group help with the move. I was so grateful.
I still feel loss over how the holiday season went because 6 is such a magical yr at Christmas time, and my poor baby was depressed and angry much of the time. He lightened up for christmas eve and left Santa cookies, and the reindeer carrots and clemelntines. He was pleased the next morning too.
We are seeing a mediator, and trying to work things out amicably. Some sticky points are who will control our son's income from acting and modeling, how community debt will be split, and visitation/physical custody.
I still think his decision is wrong, but I have noticed how much happier I am not having to deal with him. It irritates me when he give me moony looks and acts like a lovesick puppy and a spurned lover when we see each other. I feel like shouting "Hello! This was your choice! Give it a rest!"
HE is being the Disney Dad, buying lots of stuff he never would have before, and trips to different amusement places. It is actualy kind of funny because one of his reasons for leaving me was because I'm too materialistic and spend too much money. I bought (buy) nice second hand clothes to fit our growing son, school supplies and craft supplies for homeschooling. He buys, plasma lamps, and gamesystem + games. There is just something funny about it.
My son is vety clingy and unreasonable, but also sweet and loving. I adore him so much.
What I hate is how much I still love my husband. Would like to get over that. I know it takes time, but what a pain.
Things I look forward to, a new future, which I am not spending so much time and effort giving in. I KNOW that if I marry again (I want to some day) that it should be to someone who also wants more children, and who is interested in fostering ad maybe adopting. It should aso be to someone who is interested in community service charitable fundraising and giving.
ANyway. That is my overlong update. Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes. I really should be in bed.
posted
I'm glad to hear things are moving along, mimsies. I'd guess that your son is being clingy because so much has changed in his life in the past couple months and he doesn't want to lose you too. This will get better as he becomes accustomed to new routines and environments.
posted
Thanks for the update, mimsies, just the other day I was thinking about you and wondering how things were going. Glad to hear you are moved out and it sounds like you are handling things well. As Goody says, the clinginess is normal and will get better, but it can take a long time.
Yeah, the Disney Dad thing, good name for it. Seems to be a standard response from some guys, but this too shall pass...
Hang in there, and treat yourself and your boy well... you deserve it!
hugs for you both!
Posts: 239 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Thanks for the update! I'm so glad to hear things are going a little bit better (because it sure sounds to me like they are).
quote: It is nice being at home with the family. We'll be here awhile. I haven't really made many decisions about my future.
Giving yourself and your son a chance to recover in a loving place sounds like a great decision.
quote: We are seeing a mediator, and trying to work things out amicably.
Mediation can be a HUGE help. Good luck!
quote: I still think his decision is wrong, but I have noticed how much happier I am not having to deal with him.
Been there!
quote: What I hate is how much I still love my husband. Would like to get over that. I know it takes time, but what a pain.
It does, and it is, but it will come. And you're already starting to get there -- look back at what you said about what a relief it is to not have to deal with him.
Feel free to email me anytime. Take care of yourself, and your wonderful son!
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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