posted
I mentioned my interesting mother-in-law in another thread and I have funny stuff to share about today but I am too sleepy to post it all now. I will post again in the morning but in the meantime, I know some of you have silly, interesting or downright ridiculous holiday stories to tell, so post those babies here!
posted
As a Jew, I never mind working on Christmas, and as a nurse, I'm always needed. One Christmas, when I was working for the Visiting Nurse Association, came a call from one of my more pain-in-the-neck patients. The guy had a urinary catheter, and would disconnect it or take it out himself, wait a few days, and then call during the night or on a weekend because of the "emergency". So, of course he called on Christmas Day, for a catheter that he himself had disconnected two days earlier.
I arrived at his house, and found that his wife had thrown away all the spare catheters and insertion kits because she had to clean up for the holiday. So I had to travel 20 miles out of my way to the office to get more supplies and then back out to his house. I inserted the new catheter, and told him not to disconnect or take it out any more (he did it -- by his own admission -- to annoy his wife). I was trying to be polite, but this call had put me way behind schedule for my other patients, and I had a lot of sick people waiting for me. So I cut short the customary bickering by saying that I needed to go -- I had patients waiting for me.
"Waiting for you? What do you mean?"
"Well, I am working today."
"Working! On Christmas! What kind of work do you do that you have to work on Christmas?"
"Um, I'm a visiting nurse."
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
:cluex4 And just what did he think YOU were doing there? What a maroon.
Actually, I don't have any outrageous holiday stories. At least, they aren't outrageous to me... my whole extended family is a little "off" LOL
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you read the previous thread about by mother-in-law, you already know that I was dreading Christmas dinner at my house. Her behavior did not disappoint. She was shockingly rude and over the top. I have to get it all out here since I hate venting to my husband about his mother. I like the woman but she is so far out of my comfort zone, I just don’t know what to do with her.
She arrived before anyone else (by my design so we could exchange gifts before my family invaded) and proceeded to demand food. Loudly. My husband and I were still finishing up some last minute dishes since my mother was bringing the ham later so we weren’t planning to eat right away. She knew this. I told her there were munchies (candy and nuts, homemade fudge and cookies) on the table but she ignored me and instead ate raw potato chunks out of the bowl my husband was filling. This annoys me because I have never seen the woman wash her hands. I am not a clean freak by any means but when there is visible dirt and grime, it is a little gross. Then she started trying to stick her fingers in the dessert I was working on but I told her to get her hands out of the food. She thought I was kidding. She asked what I was making and when I told her it was eggnog trifle she told me that eggnog was gross. Then she started rooting around in our fridge for cokes. We didn’t have any. Her choices were water or tea. She asked for coffee. We had some left over from earlier. Hubby poured her a cup and told her that it was chocolate flavored (which we don’t usually use but this was Christmas) and was really yummy but she acted like he had given her acid. She screeched, “Yuck!” and poured it down the sink without even tasting it. Then she made my husband stop what he was doing, throw out the flavored coffee and immediately make her another pot of “real” coffee. I think she drank ½ a cup.
Gifts: I gave her the largest tin of homemade fudge I had since I know she loves chocolate and some lovely soap a friend of mine hand makes. We also gave her a neat folk art sign to put in her farmhouse. She did not thank us or act like she liked any of it. Her only comment was that she would never use the soap since it was too nice for her house. She gave my daughter two McDonald’s toys and a doll that she found at a thrift store. It looked clean but it smelled awful. It wasn’t cute at all either. Don’t get me wrong; I am not above thrift store deals. I love old dolls and antiques and going to junk shops and buying good used clothes. My mother is a garage sale junkie. I am just saying this particular doll was one of those you’d pass up if you were looking for a sweet doll for your granddaughter to play with. It is kind of scary looking to tell you the truth and even though I have not shared my feelings about this, my daughter hasn’t touched it since Christmas. My MIL gave me two beautiful woven bedspreads. She is very talented and I always love getting her handmade gifts. She didn’t make these (they were done by a weaving guild) but she knows good quality and I really like them. Her gifts were stuffed into brown paper grocery sacks and reek of cigarette smoke (I am not sure how to get it out of the bedspreads either since I am afraid to wash them). As she unwrapped her gifts, she told me how she doesn’t do wrapping paper because it’s stupid. Thanks, since we do wrap ours in wrapping paper. She didn’t get anything for my husband, her son.
After my grandmother and her companion and my mother arrived, we set up the table and had dinner. My mother has collected beautiful table linens over the years and she brought a red tablecloth and red napkins and was helping me set the table with some new napkin rings I got for Christmas. I am a paper napkin girl for everyday but on special occasions, I like things to be special. MIL started yelling for the paper napkins (this is not new, she always does this). I told her where they were but my mother tried to tell her that it was ok to use the cloth ones since they just go right in the washer and dryer. MIL told her that cloth napkins were a waste of time. She has told me that about dessert plates too.
Then at dinner, she pointed out that she and my daughter were both eating with forks this time (an improvement—she must have noticed my previous annoyance with this) but then MIL showed my daughter how to open her mouth to show everyone her half-eaten food. Lovely.
Whenever MIL is here, she smokes on my back porch. This is fine but this visit, she repeated told my daughter, “Come on, let’s go outside and smoke.” Then they would sit together on the porch while she smoked and my daughter imitated her with a toy spoon, which she later showed off to my mother and sister-in-law. I am appalled. My father smoked when I was a child and I watched him quit as a teenager. He said it is the single hardest thing he has ever done in his life. My husband also quit smoking and still struggles with it on a daily basis. I think it is a disgusting habit (sorry if I insult any smokers out there). After everyone left, I had to very carefully explain this to my almost three-year-old. I should not have to have the smoking talk with my daughter at three!!!
After dinner, my mother and I cleared the table away and my sister-in-law and brother arrived with their baby. We were all sitting around talking and my mother mentioned that we should play a party game. She meant Trivial Pursuit or one of the other games like Pictionary or Scattagories she knows I have. MIL jumps up and says she has a great game. She insists that I give her two oranges and some pantyhose. I know this won’t be good. I don’t wear pantyhose and I told her so. I don’t think I have any oranges either. She kept insisting no matter how much I protested. Most people would have given up but not her. I was worried that she would go rifling through my panty drawer if I didn’t play along, so I dug out a pair of old tights and gave her the two oranges. She put one orange in the toe of the stocking and tied the other half of the stocking around her waist, dangling the orange between her legs, in a very vulgar manner. She adjusted the hose until the orange almost reached the floor and then thrust her hips back and forth, again very crude, to get the orange swinging, and used the swinging orange to knock the other orange across the room while making suggestive remarks about the dangling orange and her movements. She got her husband, my brother, my husband and me to do it before she had had enough and the whole time she made lewd comments about the quality of our “strokes”. She tried hard to get my grandmother’s 85-year-old companion to do it but he flat out refused. It was a game I might have played at a frat party in college; not with my grandmother at Christmas. It was embarrassing. Never again will anyone suggest playing a game in front of her. Not in my house!
Finally she got ready to leave. She has to get home before dark since she might hit a deer (Wha???). My mother has some property with a little pond and she was in the process of suggesting that they come out there some time. She asked if MIL and her husband liked to fish. She snapped, “No! Fishing is the stupidest thing ever.” She went on and on about it until finally my mother said, “Well, I guess I shouldn’t invite you to go fishing then.”
She never hugs anyone. She never compliments our house, the food, my daughter or her son. In fact, she puts him down on a regular basis and I happen to think he is a wonderful man. He is kind and loving and takes great care of us. I tell her that every chance I get too. It insults me when she tells me all the things I go out of my way to make special are stupid. It really irks me that she negatively influences my daughter. I am horrified by some of her behavior and it makes me not want to include her in family gatherings and I hate feeling that way. She is the only family my husband has and it would be awful to exclude her.
My latest dilemma is my daughter’s 3rd birthday next week. We were planning on inviting about 30 people, some family, a few of my daughter’s preschool friends and some people from church. I am terrified of how she will act at this party. I don’t want her to be disgusting and rude in front of my church friends. I talked to my husband about this today and he kind of blew up at me but he finally did admit that he was embarrassed by her behavior but that she had done that his whole life and he was a little desensitized to it. I don’t want to be one of those wives who won’t let her MIL be a part of the family but I don’t like being on edge when she comes to my house either. We finally compromised that we will invite his mother for a smaller gathering or possibly go to their house instead of having her at the party. Am I being petty and shallow? Am I overreacting? My husband says that she just doesn’t have any social graces, that she never needed any before. I say everyone needs to get along in polite society. I am not asking her to memorize Ms. Manners or anything but refraining from lifting her leg in my home to fart and announcing that she is doing so would be an improvement.
Sooooooooo how was YOUR holiday?
Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wow! She sounds like quite a character. I wish you great strength and patience. Sounds like you'll need them.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Mandy, good lord! I think that that's what I said in response to your last story about her, but it bears repeating.
Wow.
I'd sit down with her and have a talk about all of this, myself, but I know that that's not really an easy or fun thing to do.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think what you are doing is great. Have her only to small gatherings, or even just invite her by herself on a different day. You can have "my family" days and "your family" days, and swap off. Either doing Thanksgiving with her and Christmas with your folks, or else do two dinners for Thanksgiving, one with just her and one with your family. For her dinner, use paper plates and napkins, and serve takeout. No need to go to any trouble. I can certainly understand why people in your extended social group might want to take her in small doses.
Try to laugh about it, and learn to love her for her unique perspective. It makes a great opportunity to teach your daughter about social nuances, as granny is an wonderful example of almost everything one shouldn't do. The reasons why one shouldn't do those things should be totally obvious to your daughter after having seen them. No need to explain at all. Just say "and you can see why we don't do x".
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
If I thought I could change her, I would say something. I do tell her to stop sticking her hands in the food and that we like the way we do things (like wrapping presents). I need to do more of that.
I do correct my daughter's behavior when she imitates her. We use our fork at the table. It's not nice to show other people the food in your mouth. Smoking makes your insides very sick and it is yucky.
And we can't really split the holiday like most people do. If we didn't invite her to our celebrations, she wouldn't celebrate anything. She never celebrated anything with my hubby when he was a kid and she still doesn't today. It is not for religious reasons; it's more like she can't be bothered. So inviting her into my home for various holidays and celebrations is her only chance. I am not imposing myself on her. I am just trying to make her a part of our family. Though I am going to ask her next time I talk to her, if she had a good time. I am not sure she did and if not, we may just go to her house around Christmas next year.
Thanks for commiserating with me a little. I feel like a heel for not appreciating her more. I used to think her eccentricities were just quirky and fun, but she has worn me down. Now I just think she is rude.
Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I had problems with my mil this visit. BUt nothing like this. Ouch.
As for the bedspreads, I'll suggest the same thing we did to KoM with his smoky mattress-- febreeze or an odor eliminator, repeatedly, combined with outside air, lots of it.
However, if they're made to be used, they can probably be washed. I'd suggest testing a tiny little corner with a tiny drop of water and seeing if you can't quickly wash them in cold water with cold water wash and air-dry them.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Geez, Mandy! I'm pretty much speechless at this point.
space opera
edit: I don't have any crazy holiday stories to share this year. Why? Because I celebrated Christmas with only the kids and Mr. Opera. My crazy family was not invited. Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I'm pretty much speechless at this point.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
