A few days ago I went in for a quick refill on my new birth control. The doctor said, "You do know that there are some medications that interact with birth control pills?" I nodded. My last doctor informed me that birth control speeds up the body's drug metabolism for some anti-seizure medications, none of which I was taking.
"There are some drugs that will cause birth control not to work. Some nutritional supplements, meds for seizures..."
I told her that I was on anti-seizure medications, but I thought b/c pills only sped up my metabolism for them. Then she explained to me that only *certain kinds* are sped up, other kinds basically neutralize the effects of the pill.
And guess what... one of the meds I was taking is one of those kinds.
So I took a pregnancy test. It's positive. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I know I'll be a wonderful mom (I work at a daycare for the simple fact that I LOVE children) but I am not ready for a baby. I'm 20 years old!!!
My boyfriend of almost a year is going to marry me, which is good. We have both entertained thoughts of marriage ever since we met. We were definitely made for each other, and I know we're going be VERY happy- but still... I wasn't planning on having a kid for a long time. I'm not ready to give up 18 years of my freedom... not yet.
Anyway, all the forums I frequent I've posted this rant. For the women on birth control- make sure your doctors know what you're taking! I researched it on the Internet and found out that nutritional supplements like Ginseng and Black Cohosh, and even St. John's Wort can cause the pill to not work. Not to mention some anti-biotics. >.<
I just hope that what happened to me doesn't happen to anyone else. It really, really sucks.
I'm glad that you are in a situation where you can have a family and the baby, but still.
*oh boy*
(memory_guilded)
I'm with you on the lack of information thing - my mother is a doctor, so luckily she told me (and I told my friends) some of the lesser known ones.
Including Vitamin C - more than 1000mg a day of Vitamin C can interfere with the pill's absorption and cause it to become less effective.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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My doctors are very careful about what they prescribe and what I'm on and making SURE that there aren't any unplanned pregnancies. People do have to be educated.
posted
I realize this is a bit of "barn doors after the horses" bit of cliche, but:
Nothing short of abstinence is absolutely guaranteed as being pregnancy proof. This includes condoms, birth control pills, contraceptives and any combinations thereof.
quote: Nothing short of abstinence is absolutely guaranteed as being pregnancy proof. This includes condoms, birth control pills, contraceptives and any combinations thereof.
Abstinence and homosexuality that is.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by TMedina: I realize this is a bit of "barn doors after the horses" bit of cliche, but:
Nothing short of abstinence is absolutely guaranteed as being pregnancy proof. This includes condoms, birth control pills, contraceptives and any combinations thereof.
-Trevor
I agree. That's why I've chosen not to have an abortion- because by having sex I put myself at risk. I just wish that I could have been told, and maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Posts: 46 | Registered: May 2005
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Well, all medications come with an insert that does tell you all you need to know, like what medications will interact with it but most people throw it away instead of reading it. They assume their doctor remembered to tell you everything that's on it.
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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I am on the pill, always read the piece of paper over and over and the only thing I can find is : If you are taking a medication you are not sure of, then refer to your doctor. Or something to that effect.
Posts: 315 | Registered: Jun 2002
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I was 21 when I had my oldest child. Don't think of it as losing freedom. Forty to Fifty is still quite young. Some people are starting their families then, and having quite the opposite problem than you. Think of it as gaining freedom younger than many of your peers will.
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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I hope that as time goes on you will be able to be excited about this--in spite of the shock it is to you now. I spent a lot of one of my pregnancies being afraid of what was to come, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have relaxed and enjoyed it more.
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Also, if you really feel that you aren't ready to raise a child yet, you could also look into putting the baby up for adoption.
Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jan 2003
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It sucks that you didn't know about the interaction between the pills. Have you ever heard the Kenny Chesney song "There goes my life" I think it expresses the sentiment of a lot of the young moms I know. I am sure this will enrich your life even if it wasn't the most planned of events. Good luck!
I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. I am glad your boyfriend is supportive. That is wonderful!
There is a website I frequent that you might want to check out. It is www.americanbaby.com. There are forums there. I am sure you will find a few women in your position. You can sign up for weekly e-mails for your stage of pregnancy. You can also get a 1 year free subscription to the American Baby magazine.
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Good luck, and I am sure it will all work out for the best. You love kids, and that means that the child will be very, very loved and very lucky to have you as it's mother.
I'm sorry it happened this way, but now I wish you all good luck in dealing with the situation! It seems to me that you're already on the right track. Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I wish you all the happiness in the world. Once you get used to the idea I am sure you'll love motherhood. You know how they say the grass is always greener, etc... I wish I had had my baby when I was much younger. I feel at 33 more tired, rundown, overwhelmed. I wish I still had that energy I had in my early 20s. Good luck and my prayers are with you. Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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I almost wish I'd had a baby right out of high school. He or she would be getting ready to start school, and I'm just now going back to college part time. The timing really would have worked out well for me.
As it is, I won't be able to have one til I'm about 30, and my family is notorious for having parts not work so well by then. I hope you have a good support group you can rely on to help you watch the kid. And you always have hatrack for emotional support.
Good luck and congrats!
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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I'm just glad that you are going into this knowing that you will be a good (great!) mom. That you care and want to be a great parent is at least 1/2 the battle, IMHO.
I assume you're checking with the doctor now about effects of various meds during development. If you haven't, you should do that very soon. And start learning what to expect at what stages during the pregnancy so you can tell if your reaction is abnormal, and if so, what to do (or at least you'd know to call for help).
You've got some special circumstances and it's important that you adjust to those during gestation.
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As long as we're recommending websites, at Babycenter you can sign up for weekly updates that tell you what baby's doing now and how he or she is growing, what you might be experiencing now, etc.; I found it really helpful.
If you don't have a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting, please e-mail me. I have three-- three people gave it to me when I was pregnant. It's that good. Anyway, if you don't have a copy, tell me and I'll send you one. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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My midwife says there is a reason pregnancy takes 9 months- so we can prepare mentally. I admire the maturity of your attitude.
And while we're recommending websites, www.Mothering.com has great resources, and the forums probably have many moms who have walked your shoes.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz: I'm just glad that you are going into this knowing that you will be a good (great!) mom. That you care and want to be a great parent is at least 1/2 the battle, IMHO.
I assume you're checking with the doctor now about effects of various meds during development. If you haven't, you should do that very soon. And start learning what to expect at what stages during the pregnancy so you can tell if your reaction is abnormal, and if so, what to do (or at least you'd know to call for help).
You've got some special circumstances and it's important that you adjust to those during gestation.
(((memory_guilded)))
I'm also very happy that my boyfriend (oops, now FIANCE) knows he will love the baby as well. <333 We're going to make fantastic parents.
On Tuesday I'm going to make my first prenatal appointment, specifically because I don't want any of my medications to interfere with the baby. It's going to be a pain in the ass if I have to switch, but as long as the baby is healthy... Posts: 46 | Registered: May 2005
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Well, at least now you can join the Hatrack Pregnant Mammas club!
Depending on your religious perspective, you could figure that God/Fate/Whatever determined that the timing was right...
It sounds like you and your boyfriend are mature enough to handle the situation, and while it wasn't your ideal plan, you'll be able to roll with the unexpected punches of life and make it beautiful.
Babies are wonderful, amazing, and they DO change your life. But they also bring a lot of wisdom and power if you are ready for it.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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Good luck to you, I went through a similar thing, except that I was already married. I was on birth control when I got pregnant with Natalie, and was not prepared and not at all that happy when I first found out. We had only been married three months, had very little money, I was planning on going back to finish school, and then I got surprised by the pregnancy.
It's been 12 years and I'm thrilled that things worked out the way they did. For one thing, I later had serious fertility issues, and had I waited to start my family when I thought was the right time I may not have had any at all. For another thing, Natalie is just plain awesome and I cannot imagine life without her.
You will be okay, but there will be an adjustment period for you. Take care of yourself, and lean on your supportive family and friends, and your fiance. I wish all of you the best!
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Babies are wonderful, amazing, and they DO change your life. But they also bring a lot of wisdom and power if you are ready for it.
We're definitely going to roll with the punches, because we both know that we're going to LOVE this baby. Now that I've had a few days to think about it, I'm actually getting excited!!
Posts: 46 | Registered: May 2005
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I can't imagine having a kid.. I'm twenty, too. But I'm glad you're excited about it. Babies are happy Congratulations!
Posts: 1056 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Best of wishes... where are you located? if it's anywhere near the bloomington clump, I've already got them on babysitting duty for my 2 week old niece (and my sister thought she'd have trouble finding people to give her some time to sleep... lol)
Posts: 1094 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Well that's just a bit far for me to babysit mg, but Stryker, I'm serious I'd love to babysit Mary Beth sometime.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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You know, we had a girl, but even if you have a boy, ask us, because we dressed her in a lot of gender-neutral clothes for the first few months. So we have boy-appropriate clothes to spare as well as lots of girly clothes.
I know how it is to be young and poor and having a baby. (((hugs))) There may be other things you can have, as well; when the time comes, you tell me what you need, and we'll see what we have that we can send.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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"We're definitely going to roll with the punches, because we both know that we're going to LOVE this baby."
That's about one one-thousandth of what the universe is about to require of you.
Only the most reprehensible sociopaths don't love their babies. Human babies have evolved over millions of years to be almost completely irresistible; they are shaped and tuned and programmed to do exactly those things which are most likely to make us love them.
This is because they are also needy, savage, completely monomaniacal dictators. They are simple, straightforward villains, lacking only moustaches to be a cliche. They will find the one thing you hate most in the world and do it over and over again, because your anguish brings them joy. They are, in a word, like what Darth Maul would be if he were a paraplegic version of Elmer Fudd.
But in their joy, they will gurgle sweetly. And so you will love them and hate them for making you love them. *grin*
Loving a baby is easy. Hating a baby is easy. Parenting is the tricky part. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I don't know about that. But I do advise reading as much as you can about child development right now. It will really help you get through rough patches if you can say to yourself, "It's developmentally appropriate. She's learning about the world. It will pass. I am giving her needed boundries. It's developmentally appropriate. It means her brain is working right."
That, and "I'm going to get through tonight. Someday it will be over. I'm going to get through tonight. Some day it will be over."
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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But in their joy, they will gurgle sweetly. And so you will love them and hate them for making you love them. *grin*
Loving a baby is easy. Hating a baby is easy. Parenting is the tricky part.
Most certainly. I work with children for a living- and that is why I couldn't imagine myself having kids for a looong time. They can be the most irritating little monsters, but I truly believe that if you love a child you will also strive to be the best parent you can be. Loving your child and being a good parent aren't strangers to one another.
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: "It's developmentally appropriate. She's learning about the world. It will pass. I am giving her needed boundries. It's developmentally appropriate. It means her brain is working right."
Ha! That is exactly what I tell myself when I'm with my 2 year old class at the daycare I work at. "They're todddddlers. Be paaaaatient."
But what I've found is that the stress of taking care of children is quite different from the stress of many other things. When I go home from work, I don't feel emotionally drained or wishing I didn't come into work that day. I think when my baby arrives, and I'm staying at home taking care of him/her, it will be more stressful- but I don't think it's something I will hate or feel dangerously overwhelmed with.
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The feelings come and go. It's hard to imagine not feeling love for your child, but there are those days. And you choose to act lovingly anyway. And the passion of your love for your child as it grows is fiercer than anything you've ever felt before. You're in for a wild ride. All the Hatrack parents giving you nuggets are very wise. Lucky you - you've already got quite the support system in place! Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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Good luck. Children are great! They are a lot of fun. They also take lots of hard work. Let us know if you need anything.
There is nothing like holding you new born baby. Knowing that the baby is part of you and that you would do anything for it. It's a wonderful experience.
Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Don't be surprised if you feel detached right after the birth, though. It took me a few hours for it to sink in that it was really over. It's almost like there's so much emotion involved, most of it shuts off to protect you from overload. It doesn't mean you're a bad mother or anything; probably the opposite. Also, fear is normal and okay.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Reading the title of this thread I could think of so many worse scenarios than the one you have described. I'm so glad that you're able to have the baby, and that it will have two loving parents to take care of it, even if you weren't quite ready.
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
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