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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Good Heavens... if this is a joke, its hilarious, if not...

   
Author Topic: Good Heavens... if this is a joke, its hilarious, if not...
Alcon
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http://objective.jesussave.us/index.html

Its gotta be a joke right? I ran across these guys some time ago and wrote em off as a joke... but their still around. Its just a joke right? Right? Please tell me people don't really think like this...

An example of their craziness:

quote:
(November 27, 2004) Target inc. have stopped allowing the Salvation Army to collect money outside their stores this Christmas season. This sudden change in policy was done in the name of "fairness" to other charities, but we are starting to suspect that Target has been infiltrated by anti-Christian forces bent of subverting salvific organizations and Christianity in general.

Logos compared

Case in point: OBJECTIVE cult expert Dr. Troy Franklin has discovered that Target has started to offer for sale Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible. Dr. Franklin informs us this "Bible" is really a cryptic manual for overthrowing Western Christian culture and eventually sacrificing Christian babies to demons. The book is given a 3.5 out of 5 star rating on the Target web site, with reviewers actually complaining that it is "not extreme enough" and that Mr. LaVey has a "good basis" but that he "took what had been a brutal cult ritualistic religon, and toned it down for the avg. 13 yr old" [sic] -- yes, that came from a pro-Satanism review! (Also note how Target's hellish red logo is eerily similar in general form to the pentagrammic cover illustration on the "Bible." Is this merely a coincidence?)

We are only left to wonder just what sort of people frequent Target stores? Certainly not us any longer!

o_O

[ December 20, 2004, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Alcon ]

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imogen
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It's a joke.

IIRC, there was a thread on it a while back.

Lambuel is still my favourite. Nothing like a spinning lamb head to start the day properly.

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Scott R
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I don't think salvific is a word.
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quidscribis
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Yeah, but did you read this one?
quote:
Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.

As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!

Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.

For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.

Rock chip repairs will cost you your soul! [Evil Laugh]
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KarlEd
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"qualified Christian repair shop"? How does one get qualified in Christian repair?
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quidscribis
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I think it's when you receive the seal of approval on your forhead. *thump*
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Dagonee
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Yes, Target banned the Salvation Army from in front of their stores.

No, it probably doesn't have anything to do with occultist activity.

Dagonee

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Scott R
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I wondered why I never saw BSA or GSA kids selling donuts/cookies in front of Target.

Now I know-- they're god-hating paganists who want to Womanize all our girls AND boys.

Thank goodness for Wal-mart!

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Alcon
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That quote was just an example of one of the crazy things I came across on that website. I was asking about the entire site. If the site isn't a joke, that people seriously think like that o_O
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Dagonee
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Yes: the site is a joke. We did a thread on it a while back.

Dagonee

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Sopwith
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The rock chip repair gave me a laugh.

I have a cousin who travels with his family as missionaries for their definitely Christian church. He makes additional money as they travel by doing the rock chip repairs at rest stops along the way.

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