posted
They pour into the world, the streams do, and they are colorful like glittergold. Glittergold is pretty and nifty and deep and yellowish.
I like to sing, though singing doesn't like me! We can only hope for better, I guess.
The truth is that we are all dead, and we just think we are alive. Now wouldn't that pull your panties off! Weird, isn't it?
Regardless, life moves on in a small matter pace; we do not falter, ever.
You falter, you are killed. Such is cruel life. You falter and the machiene will run right over you. Sorry.
This is what I heard once: "We were lying in bed, and I had no idea what to say." That seems deep and meaningful; is it? Lying in bed is fun, sometimes. Sometimes not.
Who knows?!
Do you? Do you know? Are you lying to me?
No, it can't be. You don't know...do you? God, I wish you'd just tell me!
For all I know, this is but a death and this is but a dream. No, I know for sure -- read the earlier segement where I clearly established the non-existance of all of us.
posted
Wow, someone understood a line of my poetic rant! Fantastic! Now I wonder if anyone can unravel the other chunk *issues challenge*.
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
Heh . I'm fitting in, getting used to the structure. It's very different; my only complaint is that one of my threads got no comments, and I really liked the poem. My next poem shall be much, much better, and I'm going to be more intense in critiquing.
Thanks for asking ^^. What's your name there?
Cold fingers wrap around the room, This breeze has come to kill. With delicate love, it rubs my back, A masseuse, a rapist, that I can not stop.
It tickles me, And whispers in my ear, Of many things that I can not quite hear. But I already know what it wants.
To my right, another sits, A person not quite as lucky as I. For as the wind toys with me, It beats him, cutting and slashing, His hair flying, His papers fluttering away.
Then, suddenly, wham! An amazing miracle has happened, Someone has dared to close the door!
posted
My name is Dagonee there as well (it's the first place I used it). But I'm not there too much anymore - since I went back to school I've tended more toward prose than poetry. Which is just as well, considering where my talents lie.
They are very structured, but many of them are very good as well. After you've been there a good while, I recomend taking a poem through Charon's Leaky Schooner. Intense one-on-one workshopping with week-long a revision process.
Glad you're enjoying it!
Edit: By the way, the best way to get good crits is to give them. Stick around in General C&C and give lots of feedback. People will return the favor.
posted
Hey, prose is also my strong suite . How come you don't come to the writers' forum? It's a little niche of the hatrack zone, little explored, but full of goodies .
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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*issues challenge*.
