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Granted! Your maid works non-stop, around the clock, never shutting off the vacuum cleaner for more time than it takes to shake out the filter. Your maid follows you around the house picking up anything you set down and instantly cleaning it, even if you'd only just paused between bites of your favorite meal.
I wish I owned a combination used book and antique store.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Wish granted! A new all powerful, secret group, called the Literatureinati has been formed...they kidnap your loved ones, sending home the removed body parts from them until you finish your damn review. (They start by giving them bad hair cuts and send you the bill).
I wish that all of humanity's monetary resources were evenly divided among its people.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Granted: Within 15 years, 15 different countries drown in the stupidendous (new word I just created) debt of hosting the Olympics, sending the world into a deep recession and financial crisis.
I wish my pets were house trained.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Granted. Your space elevator has life support, but it is currently not functioning and you did not have the foresight to sign a maintenance contract.
I wish to find a new and exciting job.
Posts: 1100 | Registered: Apr 2008
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A horrific stroke renders you unable to move or communicate, but the ability to do nothing but read the things put in front of you combined with the frantic attempts of your damaged brain to regain any kind of function grant you a savant like ability to understand context in the written English language.
I wish that I was a millionaire, with nobody and nothing else losing anything due to that, and that my life after the wish would be seen as positive and happy from the viewpoint of an unaltered me from before I held the monkey's paw.
Posts: 572 | Registered: Jun 2013
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The monkey's paw withers and turns to dust in your hands. A deep, booming voice from everywhere and no where at the same time thunders in your soul.
quote:Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz: Here's the game:
Person 1 posts their wish.
Person 2 "twists" it into something dark and evil that backfires on the wisher.
Some simple rules: You can't make compound conditional wishes like: I want all the money I could ever use, but I don't want it to be inheritance as all my relatives die and I don't want it to be post-humous or to get it because I'm discovered to be a rare medical freak who gets paid to show off...
No, your wishes have to be simple things like: I want to never have to worry about money again.
or
I want to be the most beautiful person in the world.
Simple. one verb, one subject, adjectives to your hearts content.
Points (ha, like I'm actually to score these) awarded for:
wishing for something that the next person can't twist into something REALLY REALLY EVIL.
and for
twisting the wish into SOMETHING REALLY GRUESOMELY CREATIVELY EXTRA SCRUMPTIOUSLY EVIL.
Once you've posted your evil twisting of the previous person's wish, post your wish so the next person has something to work with.
posted
Granted. The show has been retooled as a high school musical set in New Jersey. Galavant is a burned out debate coach who dreams of winning State.
I wish I was less tired.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Guys. This is supposed to be about an evil genie fulfilling the wish in *the worst way possible*. Put some effort in, FFS.
Posts: 572 | Registered: Jun 2013
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Granted...you are now Deadpool...w/ the healing powers of Wolverene...and cancer...and multiple personalities...and a face like hamburger left out in the sun...tho not as whitty.
I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Granted, you are taller, 7ft 3.5 inches tall. And you are a baller, but unfortunately your ball is a bright green golf ball used in professional miniature golf, and you are required to use the standard mini-golf putter, designed for a 4ft 1 inch child. Oooooh your back.
I wish I didn't have to deal with all the paperwork.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Granted. Unfortunately a PBS technician mistakenly plays the previously unaired for good reason episode where the guys make fun of Schindler's List. The ensuing media firestorm gives the fiscal Hawks in the House of Representatives the leverage they need to finally defund public television altogether. As a result the annual pbs pledge drive has become a perpetual pledge drive so you only get to watch MST3K for two minute stretches between fifteen minute segments where Laura Linney warns you that programs like this Up With People retrospective will go away forever unless people like you donate now!
I wish they had continued The West Wing on through the Matt Santos administration.
Posts: 46 | Registered: Jul 2015
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(edited to add quote because new page, that's why)
quote:Originally posted by GaalDornick: I wish time would go faster when I'm bored at work.
It does. And not just at work, but rather whenever you might feel bored. And you don't get compensation for fast-forwarding. So your life will be all spent shortly.
I wish I were able to cure diseases (as in heal, not treat).
posted
Granted. Your socks are dry. They are also at home in the laundry drier with your shoes while your bare feet must cross the hot blacktop to get to your car.
I wish my sinuses were fine.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Granted. A meteor hits near you, the radiation turns your skin to stone, rendering you a living statue, but also miraculously clearing your sinuses.
I wish i had a bionic spine.
Posts: 108 | Registered: Oct 2016
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Granted. You have a nuclear space shuttle. It is the most advanced and efficient craft in existence, able to cross galaxies in mere hours. Fashioned by aliens who use a form of synthetic telekinesis, the controls are a single orb into which you project hopelessly complex commands, no human will ever be able to fly it.
I wish season 3 of Rick and Morty was on Hulu
Posts: 108 | Registered: Oct 2016
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