posted
A friend loaned me an anthology of wedding readings yesterday. Among the sappy, sentimental, and overused verses were some real gems, such as a really bad translation of some Sumerian religious/erotic poetry. I’m thinking of having ElJay read it for the ceremony. If she makes it through the second page, you can bounce dice off her head.
posted
I suppose it might also be a good translation of really bad poetry. How would one tell the difference? (Assuming one does not read ancient Sumarian.)
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Though I admit that my first thought upon reading the thread title was to imagine the happy couple rolling initiative to see who says their vows first.
(My second thought was, "Wait a sec, you don't use a d12 for initiative...")
Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Am I the only one thinking of Eminem's rap group, here? And of naked women? But also Eminem's rap group?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
The lectern is to one side of the chancel, which is at least 25’ wide. Bob and I and all my attendants will be far enough away.
I tried to read this to Bob last night, and couldn’t finish. The thing that really got me was the random shifting between heavy-handed explicit metaphor and explicit non-metaphor. When it got to the point that I couldn’t tell who was licking who where and whether “milk” was literal breast milk or metaphor for other fluids I had to stop. And ask him about the hydroponic lettuce sometime. I laughed so hard I almost threw up.
The last chapter of the book has suggested ceremony scripts. There is, in addition to the basic “protestant” and “catholic” services a “Non-theistic Judeo Christian Ceremony” and a “Zen-Unitarian-Catholic-American-Trancendentalist Ceremony.” So, you know, if we decide the Book of Worship is too ordinary . . .
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
This will give you some flavor of the beauty of the Sumerian poem (in translation of course):
quote: She: My lover is like an underwater cabbage. I want to have his babies.
He: The milk of her bosom is sweet sticky honey that I mix with scented oil that I picked up at the gas station on my way over here.
She: My lover is a giant stick, and I know just how to use him, er, it.
He: Hunk-a, Hunk-a burnin' love.
She: Oh baby, now! I'm fertile for the next 17 seconds!
He: Is that my milk or yours? Whose metaphor is this anyway? And did we already take off our clothing or am I supposed to figure this out from context?
She: You just broke the 4th wall, you idiot.
He: Well, whaddya want for an underwater cabbage?
She: Oh, that feels nice! Do that.
He: That wasn't me. I'm over here admiring you from afar.
She: Oh. Good. I need a cigarette. YOUR cigarette <wink wink>
It goes on, but you probably get the point.
Pardon the pun.
And remember, this is in a book of "SUGGESTED READINGS" for couples at their wedding.
I'm thinking if that poem were to be read at our wedding, we'd be spending the honeymoon visiting several of Dana's parishioners in Cardiac ICUs scattered around central Iowa.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Maybe you should try the first part of Gilgamesh, where it talks about Enkidu and the priestess' little interlude. (translated differently in different works)
Think the jungle, Tarzan, Jane.
Hot stuff.
(Just skip the part about Gilgamesh claiming first rights to all newlyweds in his city.)
Who needs modern porn, when they did it so well in the ancient world, and called it "the way things are."
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Lalo, considering I posted before you with "These chicks don't even know the name of my band," then no, you weren't the only one who thought of Eminem.
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