posted
No, its not mine. Cindy and I are doing quite well with little Sasha.
Its my wife's Grandmother, from her Mother's side. We will call her Josey. (We don't, but if I call her Grandma here, it will confuse people.)
Cindy's Grandfather died about 10 years ago. Her Grandmother seemed to enjoy her freedom, and the frienship of her sister. She moved up "on the HIll" as the Itallian section of town is called, and was surrounded by the people she grew up with.
Within 2 years she was getting married to an ex-high school sweet heart.
Things went will with them for a year or two, then he passed away.
She seemed weakened by his passing, more upset by it than by that of her first husband. I think there was a long denied love between those two that their widowhood allowed them to recapture.
Any way, another year goes by when she is enjoying her singleness, when suddenly another man is courting her.
They went to school together.
Over the objections of her children, she marries this man with big plans and quick talk.
Now, at 80+ years old, she is getting a divorce.
This man has been a terrible manager of their finances, (among other things, investing heavilly in World Com at its highest).
A few weeks ago he was arrested for driving drunk, at 75mph in a 35mph zone, with 6 Oxygen tanks in his trunk.
She is a good Catholic, but deems the Divorce is necessary. She just doesn't know where to go.
Her oldest child married into a family of lawyers. SHe has helped them baby sat for them, etc. They refuse to help, but will send her to an associate. They don't want to be too connected to the case.
Her son is greatly upset because of missing money. They had a joint account with $60,000 in it. MOst of that was her money. There is now $12,000 in it, which he is willing to split.
Her daughter is my wife's mother. She lives in Atlanta. She took two weeks off to come up and spend time with her new grandson, and help her daughter with the stress of a new child.
Instead she is helping her mother with the divorce.
The son is pushing to get the daughter to move up to St. Louis and live with their Mother. If she does move, she looses her state pension. She will loose her house and garden. She does not have a lot of money to begin with.
She doesn't like the snow.
Yet their Mother can not afford to move out on her own, and is not in the best of health anyway.
So they come to me and complain. THey complain about the man, and about each other. They wonder why the others can't take a moment to look at things from their point of view.
And I have no advice. I have no ideas. I can only sit back and watch.
At 80+ years old, divorce can still be so terrible, especially on the children.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Try not to let it drag you down. A lot is going really well in your life right now.
But I DO know how you feel. What is it with 'racker's families lately? Sorry you have to deal with this right now. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
My grandmother got divorced from her second husband, and it was much the same situation as you just described. I'm sorry. It is a mess. All you can do is be there for the grandma - that's rough on everyone.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I'm probably missing something important here, but...
quote: The son is pushing to get the daughter to move up to St. Louis and live with their Mother. If she does move, she looses her state pension. She will loose her house and garden. She does not have a lot of money to begin with.
She doesn't like the snow.
Yet their Mother can not afford to move out on her own, and is not in the best of health anyway.
Why can't the Mother move in with the daughter?
Posts: 1947 | Registered: Aug 2002
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The only answer I have is that the Mother doesn't want to move away from all her family and friends to go somewhere she does'nt know.
Besides Older Brother likes having Mom around for babysitting and other uses. He doesn't want her to leave town.
We would offer to take Grandma in, but with our new son, and her questionable health, I think he might wear her out and hurt her.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Horrible situation. It would be horrible if the sister moved to accomodate the brother. If he cares so much about her staying in town, he can put her up. It's a big deal to ask someone to change towns, as shown by the mother not wanting to move. The financial incentives just make it more compelling.
You need to be Switzerland. Nothing good can come from venturing an opinion.
posted
The daughter will take her because that's what daughters do, they give in to make everyone less unhappy than they were. Though keeping the legal help neutral is probably best.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Sorry, I can't offer any advice, but at present I'm in Atlanta if you need any assistance.
Although I can't picture how that conversation would go, "hey...I'm going to send over a guy. Do I know him? Well, I met him on the internet...hello? Hello?"
posted
Update: Wife just called. The stress and probles have Josey on the verge of hospitlaization. "She's aged 20 years" my wife said, while taking her to Bro's house for the night, at least. He has a big family with him (2 children and a wife, vs Sis who is alone) and isn't interested in having her stay there permanately.
Back at Josey's home there is no food in the house, and who knows when he'll bring some in. So Josey hasn't eaten well in a couple days. The stress hasn't helped in that regard either. She could have walked to the store, but apparently wasn't up to it. The joint account Bro's wife was supposed to empty Friday of their few remaining bucks is down to $800 since she was too busy.
Meanwhile, the family yacking and politicing is driving me and Cindy crazy.
The stories we read are so full of Good Guys and Bad Guys its easy to pick which side to be on. What happens when there are unpleasant people on both sides? You call it life and move on.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Sorry man, I know that family can be a real pain. I am luck that I get along with my in-laws, but whenever money gets involved it gets harry pretty fact.
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