posted
We've expended an awful lot of words about important social issues, and more and more I think that all of us (including me) are wasting our time.
Not because the arguments from both sides aren't valid, or because the issues aren't important, or because society isn't affected by them, but because they take too much energy away from the important goals we can agree on.
Abortion: When pro-life advocates and pro-choice advocates argue, they tend to focus on the extreme views of their opponents. But not that many pro-life people believe that every pregnancy must be borne, regardless of rape or incest or danger to the mother. And few pro-choicers believe in convenient, no-question abortion on demand up until the contractions start. Most of us are between the extremes, fighting over where the lines are. But one thing just about everyone can agree on is that there should be fewer abortions. Why not take our considerable energies and work towards that? Work to remove the need for them. Work to encourage personal responsibility and abstinence and safe sex and adoption. Work to make it the last recourse, and to instill the kind of personal integrity that helps people make the right choices. Work to encourage commitment before intimacy. Work to improve birth control, and to make information on using it properly easy to find and easy to understand. Work on teaching parents to talk to their kids, and teaching kids to talk to their parents. That's a lot to do. Why waste time on a deadlocked argument when we can work to make it unnecessary?
Gay Marriage: One of the recurring riffs in this argument is the level of promiscuity in gay relationships. This is countered by reference to the level of promiscuity and divorce in straight marriages, which I feel is the wrong tactic to use. You don't create equality by dragging one side down. And it creates the opposing attitude that yeah, marriage is going downhill, but this would make it worse. What I'd like to see is a new emphasis on commitment. What if our society turned its energies towards encouraging stable marriages? Not just with tax credits, but by ignoring tv shows and movies and music and books that glorify adultery. I think two gay people that have been together for 20 years are a much better role model for my kids than, say, Brittney and what's-his-name, or my neighbor in his fourth marriage. Teach your kids that relationships take work, and fairy tale marriages only exist in Disney. Teach them by working on your own relationship so they can watch. There is no better gift you can give your child than a pair of happy, content, communicative, madly-in-love parents, and that's where it starts.
Most of all, teach your kids self-esteem and self-confidence, and to think about their choices, and to accept the responsibility that comes with that choice.
Just imagine what could be done if all the advocates for each position in these issues bent their considerable energies towards these goals.
[ March 04, 2004, 05:41 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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posted
Who is to say that we aren't already doing that? I've spent a lot of time here today, but that is highly unusual.
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posted
I would expect that a higher percentage of Hatrackers, overall, do just these things. Now we just need to work on the rest of the world...
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I know that I probably won't influence those I am arguing with. But there are lurkers. Others might read it and be influenced. Fence sitters, etc. And vigorously debating the issue helps me to get a more clear picture of the views I hold and why I believe them. That is always a good thing.
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posted
My views have changed based on things I've learned from hatrack. And also, our debating brings out other parts of us, so maybe your opinion on abortion won't change, but you still might learn something about yourself or how you view the world in the process.
Is there anything that hatrack can do as a community to pursue these goals? Why don't we brainstorm and the take action?
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posted
I think changing the world is a WEE bit ambitious. I'd settle for getting OSC to post more often, Toni to come back, and Eddie and kat to stop being snarky at each other.
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posted
Wow, I didn't realize "snarky" is a real word. It's in the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, if that qualifies it as a real word.
I have noticed this unnecessary arguing of extremes also, Chris. People's beliefs are often closer than they realize. But then, how often have I been discussing (arguing) a point with someone when they say, "I agree with you %100. BUT...." Kinda makes me laugh.
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