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Topic: Its not the Dark side that worries them, its the Pastel Side.

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

I work with four ladies and a male boss.

I am male.

I have a tolerant nature, a good heart, an active imagination, and a romantic soul.

This means that I get along quite well with the ladies.

Perhaps too well.

They are calling me "one of the girls" and let me sit in on all the good juicy gossip and such.

My boss thinks its time for an intervention. He is afraid that in the battle of the sexes, I am going over to the other side--the woman's side.

I definately need to improve my macho manly reputation.

Any suggestions?

Spitting is out. One of the women has been known to do that.

Dragging me to a strip club is out. A couple of the women want to do that anyway.

Smoking is out. One of the women does that alread.

Guns, Porn, or cursing is out. It would get me fired.

In fact, I can't do anything that will get me injured, fired, or divorced.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Robespierre
Member
Member # 5779

posted

You could be overly combative and hostile for no good reason. Works for me.

Posts: 859 | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged |

BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

posted

How about scratching one's armpits and forgetting to wear deodarant?

[Wink]

Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

zgator
Member
Member # 3833

posted

quote:
In fact, I can't do anything that will get me injured, fired, or divorced.

I think that might cover all the manly pursuits.

Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

peterh
Member
Member # 5208

posted

Loud Bodily Noises!

Posts: 995 | Registered: May 2003 | IP: Logged |

Fitz
Member
Member # 4803

posted

quote:
You could be overly combative and hostile for no good reason. Works for me.

He wants to be more manly, not more like a woman.

Posts: 1855 | Registered: Mar 2003 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

Bring a barbecue pit, a slab of ribs, and a case of beer to work.

Or walk around holding your balls, as this seems to work for rappers. I mean, they write poetry for Pete's sake, and look how tough they are.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

zgator
Member
Member # 3833

posted

quote:
How about scratching one's armpits and forgetting to wear deodarant?

That's good, but I've known women who have done those things.

I can think of one thing you could scratch or
rearrange that they can't.

edit for bad spelling

[ January 22, 2004, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: zgator ]

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BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

posted

I was trying to think of things that wont get him fired!

AJ

Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Valentine014
Member
Member # 5981

posted

Dan, please don't distress. This is a good thing. You don't seem to have the problem with your situation, it's your boss. Tell him to lighten up and that you are enjoying the extra attention (you do, right?).

And please, please, please, forgive me for using this term, but being a little "metrosexualish" [Cool]

is considered chic (even if the word isn't). At my work, the guy that gets along with the girls, are the ones who get the most dates with them, not to mention respect. So, this one's for you: [Kiss]

for being just "one of the gals".

Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

pooka
Member
Member # 5003

posted

Dan, have you tried to cut back on penning those emails you discussed before?

Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged |

zgator
Member
Member # 3833

posted

Speaking from experience from my college days, being considered "one of the girls" does NOT get you a lot of dates.

Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Brilliant IDEA.

I will come to work tomorrow carrying a Remote from my TV.

What's more mannly than that.

(and yes. I've cut back on those e-mails. I think it was confusing somebodies husband)

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206

posted

good thing he's already married huh?

AJ

Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Valentine014
Member
Member # 5981

posted

Z, I guess it's all in the right technique, being comfortable in those groups and becoming a Girl, are too different things after all.

Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

posted

Just subscribe your boss to Playgirl; that'll take the attention off of you.

You could download a Guns & Ammo screen saver, or just make sure that when people come into your cube, they see that you're reading Ann Coulter - Sexy, Sharp and RIGHT!. Nothing that could get you fired there, but it combines a comment about finding a woman attractive with a nice, manly interest in firearms (with the bonus of defending McCarthyism!). Woo-hoo!

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Dan, for God's sake, just come out of the closet and have done with it. We'll all feel better!

Seriously though, I think you've got absolutely nothing to worry about. Your boss just wants you to share the gossip. Don't do it! Keep him guessing.

And for a macho pursuit, you could just let your body hair get out of control -- especially in the nostril and ear canal areas. That'll work wonders.

And don't admit to watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It'll brand you for life!

Oh yeah, if you haven't done so already, switch to boxers.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Don't worry valentine, I won't change, and I'm not worried, except for what the girls my try to do to help with this intervention.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Valentine014
Member
Member # 5981

posted

((((Dan)))) Good for you!

Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Farmgirl
Member
Member # 5567

posted

I agree with peter...

public flatulence....

Definately a purely 'guy' thing.

Make sure you laugh loudly at yourself when you do it.

I work with guys -- ADULT guys -- they still think jokes about flatulence are funny....

FG

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged |

peterh
Member
Member # 5208

posted

fg,

It's not that we think they are funny. Inherently, farts sound funny. Ask any little kid. They laugh at the noise.

It's just the smell that we all don't like...

[edited to add emphasis]

[ January 22, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: peterh ]

Posts: 995 | Registered: May 2003 | IP: Logged |

Chris Bridges
Member
Member # 1138

posted

Just tell him you're embedded in the enemy's camp and you'll report back as needed.

Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

Have you considered becoming an alcoholic? (Of course, then Freudians would say you're a latent homosexual. So scratch that.)

[ January 22, 2004, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

BYuCnslr
Member
Member # 1857

posted

I say go to the other side, you get more perks. [Big Grin]

Satyagraha

Posts: 1986 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Book
Member
Member # 5500

posted

Yeah, crazy-messy junk food is a good idea. Lotsa ketchup. That's manly, right?

Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged |

Tresopax
Member
Member # 1063

posted

Sports man, sports.

Posts: 8120 | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged |

Scott R
Member
Member # 567

posted

Tres is right.

Sports will save your masculine soul.

Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

Shoot some pool?

Shoot a deer?

Shoot anything?

Wear flannel and drive a pick-up truck? (Note: the truck must have a gun rack which means you must have "an" gun - see Wayne's World for explanation.)

Drink whiskey. Chew tobaccy. Spit tobaccy but miss the spitoon - every time.

Belch. Loudly. Frequently. Without benefit of food or drink.

Whistle at the ladies you work with - but don't make it obvious. Oogle and leer - sneakily.

Carry a sword under your trenchcoat?

(Shakes head in dismay)

Just be you. That's always good. The "enemy's camp" comment was good, too!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

aspectre
Member
Member # 2222

posted

Tell your boss that you're really a female transvestite cross-dressing to look like a man.

Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Occasional
Member
Member # 5860

posted

Whatever you do, don't talk. Just lear and shake your head before walking away to do whatever. There is nothing that says "guy" than short sentences and unconcern for conversation that doesn't have to do with automobiles, women, and sports.

Oh, and grow a beard and mustache as long as work expectations will allow.

[ January 25, 2004, 01:48 AM: Message edited by: Occasional ]

Posts: 2207 | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged |

Primal Curve
Member
Member # 3587

posted

Drink scotch and smoke a pipe.

Wear a smoking jacket while reading the newspaper in your slippers.

Wear a suit and hat at all times.

Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002 | IP: Logged |

rivka
Member
Member # 4859

posted

A suit and hat AND a smoking jacket AND alcohol? Poor Dan'll roast!

Except his slippered feet . . .

Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003 | IP: Logged |

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