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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" . . . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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As Dr.M and I were walking out of our WalMart, he turned to me and said, "I used to play the telescope in my high school band."
Our marriage is such that I kept on walking and checking to make sure I had put all the bags in the buggy. But then he poked me and pointed at the display. There was a full band set up, complete with drumset, 3 guitars, amps, and music stands and in the middle of it all was a telescope on a tripod. Why?
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I'm a fan of taking cans of Spam or other forms of canned/potted meats from the shelves of supermarkets and placing them in other locations in the store. The goal is to create either a jarring (no pun intended) or intriguing {hmmmm, deviled ham and peanut butter -- why not?) effect.
My favorite place to do this is at Long's where there are fishing, cosmetic, fabric, electronic and hardware departments as well as a pharmacy.
Please note: I do not necessarily condone this practice, and I certainly don't call it 'spamming' -- its proper name is 'strategic canned meat placing' --; However, I do expect it to be selected any minute now as an exhibition sport for next year's Olympics, which will be held in Athens.
EDIT: cleared up that the canned meats are placed elsewhere in the store and not in locations outside the store. I've heard that there are those who do this, but I consider it a degenerate form of the sport that clearly isn't consonant with the 1995 Bill of Akron rules or the 2001 'double-can place' variation of the game pioneered by Vartran Schworinsky.
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I got this on e-mail the other day, but it was 14. Number 9 wasn't there. I love number 14! It's my favorite!
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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16. Give a lap dance to the Ronald McDonald statue in the McDonald's concession area (assuming your Wal-Mart has one). My friend did this once, and when an employee tried to stop her, she made him show her where the tampons were.
Posts: 264 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Anne kate-me too! I blame the Sound of Music. That's what started me on the idea. At my old job, I even did juggle things, just because it was fun to tease the cooks by juggling things instead of giving them to them
Also, for the senior prank at my school last year, seniors brought locks for lockers and alarm clocks, and set the clocks at varying times so they were going off the whole time after we'd left. Jenny says it was hilarious to watch
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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There are 50 fun things to do at Walmart. What happened to the other 35? And one day I will complete that list. One day. edit: linkage 50 fun things
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I was at the mall the other day and two people came up to me and said "I'm lost, can you tell me where my house is?" I could tell they were joking 'cuz they couldn't keep strait faces, but it was still weird.
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Wallmart hockey! Go into the sports section. Get a wiffle ball and hockey sticks and run around with them I did this at a K Mart once. *is so mature.* And I sprawled on the floor of a Walmart in Colorado and the woman said, Get off the Floor.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The only funny thing I've ever done at Wal-Mart was buy a paintball gun and a nail file at the same time. The cashier looked at me verrrry funny......
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Ask the employees if they know how the horse race turned out. [EDIT: if there is a horse race going on and they know of it. Look frustrated and say "yes, but how many ran?"]
Take all the socks off the shelves and set up your own sock display. Use duct tape.
Find where there intercom is and begin having a telephone conversation. When asked to stop tell them the calls for them and hand over the mike.
When checking out say you have no money, then pretend to be a time traveler in desperate need to get back to your time.
Ask an employee how many calories various bathroom accesories contain.
Wait tell someone comes to purchase milk, then open up a milk cartoon, take a whiff, and act as if gassed.
Ask an employee where the man is. When question what man, tell them the one that keeps putting you down. Act angry.
Make an employee show lead you to the condoms and act really uncomfortable the whole way.
Ask an employee "where did you pick up those mighty fine duds?"
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When you ride the bikes around in the toy section at Walmart, they don't even get mad. Even if you tell them to yell at your friend over the intercom, they probably won't.
They do get mad at you for doing that at Costco, though. But it's OK - we still go to Costco for lunch on Saturdays. (sample day!)
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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OK, I counted and I have posted 29 fun things to do at WalMart. I think more people should be making these up. Like Icarus, in penance for never completeling his tract spoof.
30. Build a fort out of the pillows
31. Tell the employees to play that funky music. Then look at them closer, apologize, and ask where the cherries are.
32. Keep giving the cashier suspicious looks while they are checking you out. Then, jump away and shout at the top of your voice "I know where I know you from!". Then shout for the police
33. Come to the store with boxing gloves on. Ask anyone in it if there dream was to one day fight the mid-wieght boxing champion.
34. Bring in an inflable doll and shot rubber bands at the employees. Whenever they look at you, blame the doll.
35. Ask a female employee to show you their melons. Repeat for knockers.
36. Put ketchup on your hands, then wait for a viechle with a siren to pass by. Run into the store holding your hands out and frantically ask an employee where the bathroom is.
37. Dress up like an employee and see how many customers you can escort out of the store before you're kicked out yourself.
38. Wear a ridiclous mask (i.e. a Richard Nixon mask) and ask where the gun counter is.
39. When asked how you will be paying for your purchase look confused and inform them that you thought this was funkytown. When they try to figure out what you mean hand over cash and leave immeaditly without explaining.
40. Walk by an employee and loudly comment "I'm glad somebody is doing the Lord's work"
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My god. The jackasses that would tell me how great my A+ minimart ties were this summer should die. Don't do that the employees leave the uniforms they're forced to wear alone.
Posts: 1621 | Registered: Oct 2001
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41. Aks an employee where the atlas's are. If they have them, ask for driving instructions to Kalamazo.
42. Bring in a plastic ring to the jelwery department and ask for it to be sizied down.
43. Wearing a surgical mask begin to take apart a fan on display.
44. Go to the store in full hunting gear and then tip toe around. If an employee asks if they can help you tell them to be very very queit, your hunting rabits.
45. Come in wearing a suit and tie with a clipboard. Tell the employees your there to evaluate the store and you'd like them to answer a short survey. Continue to ask more and mroe personal questions ("are you currently dating?") until they refuse to asnwer.
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As a side note, at the beginning of the summer my whole family (Grandpa included) went up to a town in the mountains. My Grandpa went into a store to purchase some milk and commented to the (teenage female) clerk on the weather. It was cold but supposed to get better (according to her) so my Grandpa said “the winter of my discontent made glorious summer” and then stopped when he realized she was giving him a completely blank stare.
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46. Ask an employee to lead you to the chips. When you get there remark “Ahh, OK” and walk off.
47. Hold up socks to your feet as if trying them out. Ask passing customers if they think the socks make you look fat.
48. Stand next to a rack of dresses, whenever someone picks one out exclaim “You’re going to buy that?” Then pretend you meant nothing by it.
49. If you feel uncomfortable asking employees very personal questions, perform 45 only ask precedingly more random questions (“what is your favorite section of Bartlett’s famous quotations?”)
50. Try to get the employees to form a union. If you can’t, try to get the customers to form one.
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Hobbes - these are hilarious. I'm a little frightened to find out where they're coming from. I especially like #40
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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