posted
Unfortunately I don't have a list of sources. He is usually very cutting edge on this stuff, and he spends a good deal of his time traveling around the country and lecturing other doctors on the latest findings. From what I gather, this is very preliminary. Certainly it might not pan out. He almost always has some new angle on things every time I visit him. But it's quite intriguing, nevertheless.
I find that even the possibility that this might be the case, or something similar, gives me a whole new viewpoint about obesity and overweight.
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I'm trying to avoid all artificial fats, just in case it turns out to be right. No margarine, and only olive oil and canola oil for cooking. Real butter in small amounts. No idea how long it will take to replace every fat molecule in every cell wall in your body. Probably a good while.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Well, I know that the women in my online support group for the IR Diet are having success, when they didn't have success on other diets. (We don't really see it as a diet, though, but a way of life... and one that isn't restrictive either.) It's awesome. Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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I don't really understand how fat relates to insulin resistance, though. I have a hard time understanding this stuff, unless it's put very simply.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:I think you might be confusing discrimination with prejudice....
Nope. Discrimination does not imply persecution. That we've come to equate the two is one of the failures of liberalism.
And besides, as you admit, fat people are persecuted; that's the whole point of the studies cited in the article. That most people don't consciously persecute them, and that many people believe they should be persecuted in some way (because their fatness in itself demonstrates some quality lacking in them), doesn't invalidate the accuracy of the observation; it merely attempts to justify the persecution.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Tatiana, I use an alternative to margarine called Earth Balance. It's made from non-hydrogenated vegetable oils. In fact, it's pretty much replaced butter in our household, except for rare circumstances. It even works well in baking.
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quote: I don't really understand how fat relates to insulin resistance, though. I have a hard time understanding this stuff, unless it's put very simply.
The way I've heard one diabetes nurse explain it is to picture insulin molecules as little trucks that haul glucose around. Fats clog up the garage doors (receptors on your cells) so they can't park properly.
Is that simple enough? Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Great analogy, dkw! It also means that the morbidly obese guy you see at the snack machine all the time may be desperately trying to get enough nutrition into his cells to live.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote: And finally, because your insulin level is high, combined with your cellular glucose level being so low, you are getting a double shot of tremendous enormous cravings for food, particularly carbs, and especially in the evenings. These three things, combined with the low energy levels that result from no glucose in your cells, encouraging you to rest more, tend to make you pack on pounds very quickly, and lose them only with tremendous effort (and further starvation of your essential cellular functions).
My diabetes kicked my butt this way when I was a teenager and all those growth hormones threw off my diabetes. I gained sixty pounds in one year, and didn't grow an inch, and never lost it. It is a constant annoyance to me that when going out to eat with friends, they could pick and chose what they wanted to eat off their plate... they have never known the feeling of their cells being starved, those cravings that are so unnatural and almost painful. When I see someone who is severely overweight, I feel really, really sad for them, because I think of how this must be happening inside them. And without the help of type one diabetes. I can't even imagine how much they must crave food, never being able to be full. Recently, I've been tearing myself away from this carb-addiction, and I am able to feel FULL for the first time in years and years. But I will never forget what it is like to not be able to feed your cells.
Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I have written and rewritten responses to this thread all day and have thrown out at least one snarky one and one very angry one. I knew that people could be judgmental towards overweight people; what I didn't know was that many people thought it was okay to be that way.
I'm sad and angry. (I know that the thread has moved on from that earlier point, but I took forever even writing this much.)
For the "record", I have a very overweight son. I am not ignorant about nutrition or fitness; nor is he. We work hard, with his physician, to come up with strategies for improving his health. He is not lazy, apathetic, or any of the other things that have been suggested as possibilities.
Maybe some of you will say "oh, but we didn't mean HIM then." Yes, you did.
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I think the big problem is that some people judge fat people based solely on their fatness, and assume that there couldn't be any reason for it other than pure laziness. But that's THEIR character flaw, not the fat person's.
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You know, I'm missing the really horrible things that people are saying about fat people on this thread. From what I've read, I've taken one of the harshest stances and I don't think I deserve nearly any of the accusations and insults that have been made.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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You know, I gained several pounds this past year. I'm now technically overweight, though not significantly so. It was because I didn't exercise and eat right. I admit that. However, I was depressed to the degree that I had a lot of trouble even getting out of bed in the morning.
I acknowledge that I gained weight because of the way I lived my life in recent months. But please remember that some of us are doing the best we can under the circumstances. I'm not using this as an excuse not to change. I'm working on getting better. I'm going to counseling to work on the depression, and I'm trying to exercise and eat right to the best of my ability. I'm not saying you're saying it's easy to be healthy; I'm saying that for some people at some times, it's downright impossible.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Sharpie: I have written and rewritten responses to this thread all day and have thrown out at least one snarky one and one very angry one. I knew that people could be judgmental towards overweight people; what I didn't know was that many people thought it was okay to be that way.
I'm sad and angry. (I know that the thread has moved on from that earlier point, but I took forever even writing this much.)
For the "record", I have a very overweight son. I am not ignorant about nutrition or fitness; nor is he. We work hard, with his physician, to come up with strategies for improving his health. He is not lazy, apathetic, or any of the other things that have been suggested as possibilities.
Maybe some of you will say "oh, but we didn't mean HIM then." Yes, you did.
While I'm sympathetic to your situation, I think you need to re-read this thread, like I just did. I'm honestly having trouble figuring out what it was that's making you so upset.
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Shig, I hate that kind of thinking. Very, very difficult is not the same as impossible. There is a world of difference between the two.
I'm not one to judge others' burdens. I've no doubt many on this site carry a much heavier one than I've ever had to, but I refuse to accept that there is nothing they can do and I don't think it's healthy for them to either.
Speaking out of my rear here, during your depression, you could have lived differently. You could have gone exercizing. That is not to say that it wouldn't have been incredibly hard to have done so, much harder than perhaps anything I've ever done.
I'm not trying to judge your strength as a person or make this sound like it's something that anyone could rightly expect you to do. For all I know it would have been a task of heroic strength. I'm just trying to claim that your depression didn't completely rob you of your volition. Although it may have been staggeringly difficult, there wasn't nothing you could do about it.
Again, this isn't a matter of blame. It's more a matter of possibilities. I hate that people get themselves thinking that there is absolutely nothing they can do.
---
For obese people, there are some for there really is nothing they can do about it. For many others, there may be many difficulties in the way. For a large number of people, however, there is relatively little that ultimately stands in their way.
I don't support scorn, and not just because it doesn't work, but I do think we, as a culture, need to think differently about things like obesity. Of course, I think this will only come about as part of a huge overhaul in our thinking about responsibility in general, so not exactly holding my breath.
quote:I think you might be confusing discrimination with prejudice -- racial and sexual discrimination imply some sort of persecution, perhaps even necessitate it. Discrimination for fat people might involve a sexual or instinctual preference for the slim, but in no way implies persecution of the fat.
Nope. Discrimination does not imply persecution. That we've come to equate the two is one of the failures of liberalism.
And besides, as you admit, fat people are persecuted; that's the whole point of the studies cited in the article. That most people don't consciously persecute them, and that many people believe they should be persecuted in some way (because their fatness in itself demonstrates some quality lacking in them), doesn't invalidate the accuracy of the observation; it merely attempts to justify the persecution.
Tom, that's almost exactly what I said in the post you quoted. I disagree with you on one count -- racial discrimination, by definition, means preference for a certain race. If all men are made equal, to prefer one race is to disdain the other -- and as I've seen no evidence but bigotry to prefer one race to another, I submit that racial discrimination does imply prejudice.
Discrimination between fat and thin, however, expresses a preference for thin; and since there are notable health and beauty benefits to slimness, I submit there isn't persecution when preferring slim looks to overweight looks.
That said, yes, fat people are often victimized, and attacks on them are often justified by the natural preference for slim to fat -- but again, the two beliefs are not the same. I'm attracted to slim women, but I would never harass or harm a fat woman simply because I would prefer her thin. There's a huge difference between the two.
I don't think it's victimization to say that being overweight is unhealthy, or even to infer sloth or gluttony when observing the obese -- at least, no more than it is to infer sloth when observing the consistently unwashed. It is harassment to abuse the overweight for their appearance, but I don't think anyone here's endorsing that.
As regards the issue of the thread, I'm against proposing obesity as a threatened class. If it comes to it, though I prefer a small government, perhaps we can divert some of the massive federal subsidies for American farmers to make healthier food cheaper -- or perhaps even better, raise taxes on unhealthy food and keep healthy food prices constant. Healthy food would grow cheaper as supply expands to meet demand, and the prices will still remain relatively high, endorsing smaller portions for meals.
It'll never happen, but it's a superior solution to enabling obesity.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:I disagree with you on one count -- racial discrimination, by definition, means preference for a certain race. If all men are made equal, to prefer one race is to disdain the other -- and as I've seen no evidence but bigotry to prefer one race to another, I submit that racial discrimination does imply prejudice.
Since you brought up attracting mates, would you argue that a man who prefers brunette women is prejudiced or persecuting other women?
quote:Wouldn't it be funny if all the scorn and blame heaped on fat people was totally misplaced? If their problem was a disease, which was not caused by their lack of virtue at all, compared to skinny people, but simply by a molecular process which threw their metabolism and hunger feedback mechanisms out of kilter and set them up to gain weight?
As a skinny guy, reading this thread with interest, Tatiana's quote above struck me as slightly humorous. Here's why:
I agree with her. I have a hard time convincing myself that any virtue told me to run 3 miles today. Self-discipline, maybe? It's a stretch.
But heck, I just spent 30 minutes thinking about this and I still don't possess a solid answer. Thanks to Hatrack, I now have another critical-thinking exercise to indulge myself in. Posts: 1813 | Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:I disagree with you on one count -- racial discrimination, by definition, means preference for a certain race. If all men are made equal, to prefer one race is to disdain the other -- and as I've seen no evidence but bigotry to prefer one race to another, I submit that racial discrimination does imply prejudice.
Since you brought up attracting mates, would you argue that a man who prefers brunette women is prejudiced or persecuting other women?
-pH
No, and that's exactly consistent with my point above:
Discrimination between fat and thin, however, expresses a preference for thin; and since there are notable health and beauty benefits to slimness, I submit there isn't persecution when preferring slim looks to overweight looks.
I'm not sure you can make the case that if all men are equal, then all beauty is equal. Sexual appeal's a widely variable property, and judging individual beauty is hardly immoral.
If you're determined to make a racial analogy, then consider that it's not racist for a man to be more sexually attracted to a black woman than to a white woman, no more immoral than it is for a man to be more sexually attracted to a slim woman than to an overweight woman, or a brunette to a blonde. All men might deserve equal rights, but to be found beautiful doesn't number among them -- beauty is an extraordinarily subjective property. So long as people aren't abused for being overweight or dark-skinned or blonde, I see no persecution.
In fact, I'm not sure I understand your point at all -- are you arguing that since racists declare one race supreme to all others and are thus called bigoted, then men who find more sexual appeal in dark hair than blonde hair must then be bigoted? Do you really believe the two are similar?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Yeah, hence my question. What point are you trying to make?
Personally, I'm of the opinion that overweight people deserve equal rights with the rest of the world, and that being found unattractive doesn't merit legally protected status, be your affliction fat, baldness, or a harelip. While I'm not usually attracted to obese women -- Queen Latifah being a notable exception -- and don't consider my lack of excitement over them unreasonable or abusive, I certainly don't disdain anyone for being overweight, nor would I ever refuse to befriend anyone for the way they look.
I have intense respect for Tom, and were I born a woman, baby boy better know I'd be chasing him with a net. Tom's one of the most hilarious and intelligent people I know, and were I secure enough in my masculinity to say it, I would've been attracted to him if I were of the notably opposite gender. I really hope he doesn't mistake my refusal to consider appeal discrimination (if that's what it's called) based on weight or any other factor a criticism of him -- based on the way Tom carries himself, I'd call him one of the most attractive men I know.
Okay, I'll get ready to defend my sexuality in three... two...
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I'm still not understanding your lines between preferring slim to overweight vs. preferring one race to another. I feel like you're blurring the lines between preference based on appearance and preference based on...I don't know what to call it, perceived internal inferiority?
I mean, would it be prejudicial if one claimed that all albinos were superior to all blonde people with brown eyes if the belief extended beyond a simple beauty preference?
posted
I think you mistake superiority with sexual attraction. While some men are more attracted to Jessica Alba than to Rosie O'Donnell, does anyone really think Alba's an inherently superior person because of it?
Beauty's as shallow as it is subjective, and no more reflects on a person's worth than their sense of style. While I think sexual attraction is a tremendously important part of a romantic relationship, I don't see how it extends beyond those limits -- I mean, I like Squick a ton, even though it's horribly clear why he goes by the name "squicky." Compare this to white supremacists, who feel a person's skin color not only determines that person's beauty, but their very worth as a human being. Not only is this standard arbitrary and meaningless, but it attacks an entire race on the information gleaned from a relatively small, if at all existent, pool of sample minorities.
You know, it's possible to say something like "I find Filipina women unattractive," since many in the race share common features -- height, hair color, often skin tone. I think it's a particularly foolish statement to make, since I've witnessed astoundingly beautiful women from every race, but it can be a defendable statement from a sadly limited man. But I don't think it's possible to say "I find black people to be inferior to white people," since that goes from assuming a race shares common physical traits to assuming a race shares common spiritual traits -- that is, you can (however unwisely) assert that most Chinese men are short, but I don't see how it's possible to assert most black men are criminals.
I hope that made my position clearer?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I think this is definitely one of those cases where the more metaphors and examples that are used, the less clear the original point is. I now have no idea what Lalo or pH are discussing at all
I will say that I don't feel like fat people need special protection under the law. I've been a wide range of weights, as have several of my friends. If you're eating a lot and not burning calories, you get fat. If you eat less and work out more, you get less fat. Baring a severe medical problem, nobody has to be fat. Yeah, there are endomorphs and ectomorphs, but there's a big difference between husky and Fat.
I will say that it's downright rude when you're seated on a plane between two very fat people. Where are average sized rights being protected?
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Lately I've been gaining weight on purpose. Unlike most guys, I have the body type common to most females where fat gets stored on your hips and thighs, instead of the stomach. I think they call it "hourglass" or something like that.
This is good in the sense that my organs more or less can't get clogged, but bad in the sense that I can't build up most of my upper body muscles, and my posture suffers from the effect this has on my lower back muscles.
After I broke each of my wrists (different occasions) and they had recovered, I used dumbells to rebuild very weak arm muscles. I ended up stopping this after they got better- winter came long and I got lazy- and fat started to build up. I later used this to build up my arm strength, but realised that 1. It was pretty pointless with weak back muscles, and 2. Big arms would look bad with a small chest.
So I've lately been applying the same process to build up my back, lower leg, chest, and stomach muscles, and it's working.
So I'm gaining weight on purpose. It leaves me wondering why there's so much social stigma against weight gain, and why pretty much the entire fitness industry is directed towards "weight loss".
Posts: 1138 | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote: I will say that it's downright rude when you're seated on a plane between two very fat people. Where are average sized rights being protected?
Tell the airlines start paying attention to human factors designers. They KNOW when they put in those seats that 50% of the adult US population is too wide for the space provided.
I fly a lot. I deliberately spend the entire flight with my arms crossed so that my shoulders are pulled in so that I don't scrunch my neighbors. Guess what...on some airplanes, the way they installed the seats in relation to the window openings means that the wall actually forces me sideways into the person next to me because the seat doesn't line up with the space where the window is, but with lump in the wall where the window frame is.
Airlines are also transitioning from large jets to more of the commuter style jets (partly because they can be more sure of filling all the seats, and partly because the regional carriers have less powerful union representation, and thus lower salaries). If the seats on a Boeing are cramped, the ones on a Canadair Regional Jet are tortuous.
So...look for this problem to get worse in the future, not better.
At any rate, I always request an aisle seat. That way, as long as the cart is not being pushed up and down the aisle, I can lean that way and not disturb my neighbor. I've gotten quite adept at holding this uncomfortable position for hours at a time.
I've rarely had anyone get huffy with me about encroaching on their space. There are so many flying etiquette breaches that if we all started picking on each other for them, the plane would erupt into violent mayhem, I suspect. The people who bring too many carryons, or who take forever to get situated when we're already late and the plane still isn't loaded, or the people who spill things repeatedly, or can't stop farting, or take the window seat and close the window shade, or who don't think that the "turn off devices" thing applies to them, or who don't realize how rude it often is to fully recline ANY airline seat (even some of those in first class), or who etc., etc., etc.
I don't get upset or angry about any of it. Doing so doesn't make the situation better, first off. Secondly, you just never know what a person might be dealing with. . . . . . . .
I would just like to point out one other thing. Everyone has a sack of rocks to carry around. Or two or three sacks of rocks. Obesity is a visible sign of personal failing for many of us. The next time you feel squicked out by a fat person, at least try to imagine if one of your big personal failings was visible and obvious to everyone around you all the time. And know that even if you ARE working on it, the visible manifestion of that isn't going to go away or even be noticeably improved for the next how ever many months or years.
And know that you still have to hold your head up, function, not get down about it, cope...
It's pretty easy to say "just don't eat so much" but if you don't have that monkey on your back, you don't really know. People aren't perfect. They don't switch from bad to good habits in an instant. And they don't get immediate palpable benefits when they do switch.
Seriously, I'm an intelligent person. If my own studying of the issues, work with nutrionists and dieticians, years of daily exercise (well in excess of 2 hours a day on most days until I got injured twice in rapid succession and had to stop for what turned out to be way too long a period), super-strict adherence to WW, NutriSystem, Jenny Craig, and the Atkins diet (not all at once), the gut-slam of being diagnosed with diabetes, and the fear of pre-mature death from heart disease or stroke haven't MOTIVATED me enough to fix this problem, maybe more motivation from lack of social acceptance is going to put me over the top and lead to success?
It's something I need help with. I admit it. And so, my personal failing remains visible to the world as I struggle (yet again) to lose the excess weight. It's coming off at a rate of about one pound a moonth. At that rate, I should be of acceptable size to the rest of the world in about 8 years.
Shall I go hide until then? Never use a public conveyance? Apologize for my visible failing while secretly envying your ability to mask your failings?
Or just accept the situation and do what I can.
Maybe learn a little humility from it.
Be glad that my addiction is merely to food and not to other, worser things?
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I've had the opportunity to fly on very little planes the past few years, planes that have 12-20 rows with one seat on one side of the isle and two seats on the other side. I've usually been able to pick the seat by itself and that is just wonderful. I get an isle, and a window, and no seatmates to worry about offending, all at once. Love it.
I just remembered some terrible fat etiquette, that I really disapproved of. I went to this modern dance show once that had extra narrow seats. I think they might have borrowed a high school auditorium for this particular performance. The lady next to me was very wide. She was with a female friend. I soon realized she was not sitting straight up, but firmly leaning in my direction. Our bodies were in contact from the shoulder down to the thigh, pretty much. She was leaning into me while completely ignoring me, while talking with her friend like nothing was wrong. She was leaning my way to avoid touching her friend. Rather than feel embarrassed about close physical contact with her friend, she chose to be embarrassed with a total stranger. She never did acknowledge my presence even once. It got so bad I was tempted to leave at intermission.
Posts: 1990 | Registered: Feb 2001
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quote:I would just like to point out one other thing. Everyone has a sack of rocks to carry around. Or two or three sacks of rocks. Obesity is a visible sign of personal failing for many of us. The next time you feel squicked out by a fat person, at least try to imagine if one of your big personal failings was visible and obvious to everyone around you all the time. And know that even if you ARE working on it, the visible manifestion of that isn't going to go away or even be noticeably improved for the next how ever many months or years.
And know that you still have to hold your head up, function, not get down about it, cope...
Just because it bears repeating and is an excellent quote. Very good, Bob.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz: Shall I go hide until then? Never use a public conveyance? Apologize for my visible failing while secretly envying your ability to mask your failings?
Or just accept the situation and do what I can.
Maybe learn a little humility from it.
Be glad that my addiction is merely to food and not to other, worser things?
Werd. Alcoholism and drug abuse seem at least as rampant, far more damaging, and, bizarrely, celebrated as a national pasttime. I can think of worse vices than snacking, and more dangerous people than the overweight.
As a side note, I agree about the airline seats. Nobody over 5'8" or 120 lbs. seems to fit comfortably in the damn things -- and people blame fellow passengers for their discomfort?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Rather than feel embarrassed about close physical contact with her friend, she chose to be embarrassed with a total stranger.
I have to admit that this does seem like a better choice to me. If I'm forced to choose to humiliate myself to someone while inconveniencing them, I figure that one of the perks of being my friend is that I'm less likely to do it to you.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: I'm actually intrigued by another question: IS there a stigma against the excessively thin? I know there's some jealousy, and I know people who are assumed to be bulimic are of course the subject of tongue-wagging, but I don't otherwise see it.
You don't see it because you aren't skinny. I was excessively thin for all of my childhood and most of my adult life because of an undiagnosed disease. I was openly mocked and ridiculed more than anyone I know who is over weight.
My disease was diagnosed about 7 years ago and I am now only normally thin.
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I've noticed a stigma of anyone who's really thin is thought to have an eating disorder. This is just as prevalent as the preconception that all fat people are lazy, in my experience.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:I was openly mocked and ridiculed more than anyone I know who is over weight.
I have to admit that I find this hard to believe. I mean, I can understand how it might be possible, but it's certainly been my experience and observation that even people who are on the verge of starvation -- the ones who are most likely to have their thinness be the subject of comment -- are generally assumed to be ill and suffering from something in a way that the obese are not.
I've seen a few thin people called a "beanpole" in my presence, and of course I've heard the whispered, semi-jealous speculation on whether or not Actress X is anorexic, but that's about the worst of it that I've seen.
If it's not too painful, could you elaborate more on the nature of your teasing? I've honestly never seen it, so I'm curious.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:I've seen a few thin people called a "beanpole" in my presence, and of course I've heard the whispered, semi-jealous speculation on whether or not Actress X is anorexic, but that's about the worst of it that I've seen.
Being falsely accused of an eating disorder by your peers repeatedly over a long period of time is pretty damn hurtful, Tom, especially when those accusations are never directed at your face, but rather through gossip and speculation that never affords you an opportunity to defend yourself. Maybe that didn't happen where/when you went to school, but it definitely happens.
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I can see how it would hurt, but I don't see how it hurts worse than the comments that come when someone is overweight.
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I've been at both ends of the spectrum. When I was a teenager and ill all the time, I was 30 pounds or so underweight. I had one person ask me if I was anorexic. No taunting, no name calling.
Being overweight in Canada, however, I got the taunting, the name calling, the jeering, the stares, the pig noises...
In my experience, overweight was by far - and still is - the worse experience. There is no comparison.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Not to you. But who are you to make a judgment on what is hurtful to other people? I knew a woman who was chronically underweight and struggled for years to put on weight. Doctors were baffled. It may have been a cause to her infertility, she rarely ovulated and her cycles were always messed up. Are you now going to claim that being oinked at is worth than the pain of never being able to realize your dream of being a mother?
We can't play the "my pain is worse than yours game" not unless you're absolutely certain of what the other person is experiencing and you can never be certain of that.
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quote:It's pretty easy to say "just don't eat so much" but if you don't have that monkey on your back, you don't really know. People aren't perfect. They don't switch from bad to good habits in an instant. And they don't get immediate palpable benefits when they do switch.
Yep, I totally agree. And I guess that's how I'm coming across, telling people "just don't eat so much". But I DO have this monkey on my back. Like I said, I've been struggling with this for over 2 years, ever since I learned what, specifically, I need to do to lose weight. And I've gone through the same roller coaster ride almost everyone goes through when they finally change their habits, the sudden joyous drops on the scale, the discouraging gains when I'd been doing everything right, the weeks and months where I chuck it all out the window and eat pizza for every meal. Believe me, I know.
But.... no matter how society feels about your weight, or how positive or negative your self-image is, or how much you tell yourself you're doing your best, the cold hard truth is that your body is going to continue to fall apart as long as you continue to carry the excess fat. And as sympathetic I am to people who struggle with it, I just can't get past the thought that, if they don't make these changes, they're going to be taken away from us far before their time.
One thing I wanted to ask of the folks who are really trying to lose weight, but not seeing any results: Do you know, specifically, how much you're eating in a day? At least the number of calories? And do you know how much you should be eating?
I ask because for me, that's been the most critical part of any weight-loss effort, knowing exactly what I'm eating and when I need to stop for the day. The moment I stop counting and start guessing, I start overeating. That's been a big part of accepting the "lifestyle change" that is eating healthy: realizing that, for me, I will need to keep track of my calorie intake for the rest of my life. Left to my own devices, I'll immediately start eating more food, more often.
So at the end of every day, I can tell you exactly how much I've eaten. Yesterday I had 1250 calories. The day before that was 1500. Today so far I've had 180, and for lunch I plan to have 300. Every time I sit down to eat, I have to add up the number of calories. Every time I want an extra snack, I have to think about whether or not it will push me over my range for the day.
And it sucks. But it's getting easier the more I practice. And I know that this is what it takes to keep myself from overeating and gaining weight, and I've decided that it's worth it to me.
If having to add up some numbers every time you put something in your mouth is the price to pay for health and long life.... wouldn't you make the same decision?
And if not, what can we say to convince you? Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
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Thing is, it's not up to you to convince us. Not if we aren't asking for convincing.
That seems to be the point that is frequently lost - you (the generic nonspecific you) don't know what efforts are or are not being made. You don't know what else is going on in our lives. You don't know what other factors, including other health problems, might be getting in the way of losing weight. You don't know our emotional status. You don't know if we've been dieting and losing weight. You don't know what we eat - or don't - when you're not around.
You don't know.
Personally, I'd say butt out. Don't offer free advice. Don't assume that we're too stupid to be able to figure things out on our own. Don't assume that just because you've got a solution that works for you, that you therefore have the solution that will work for everyone else. Don't assume that it's any of your business. Don't assume that all we need is a little more shame or a little less dignity or a little more convincing.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Kat, I have been frequentely called an anorexic too when I was a teenager (not because I was skinny but really picky about what I ate and also hated to eat whith too many people around) and it really, really hurts. It damages your relationship with people badly when they think they are allowed to call you sick in your mind and ask you to eat this and that in front of them, if you're not anorexic. What do you mean, you don't want to? That's a proof, see. You're an anorexic in denial. And it lasted for friggin' years. I tried to tell them that an anorexic would never look like me for years, but it takes more energy to remove an idea from people's mind than to put it there in the first place. *sigh*
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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