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rivka, can you give me a couple of links. I want to check to see if someone I know has a preference. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I agree about that fine line. I have joked that if a girl likes a guy, he is wooing her. If she doesn't like him, he is stalking! But I think it is more complicated than that. If a guy is acting in a way that is determined and yet healthy, he is more likely to be taken as a "woo-er". (Makin' up words on the spot.) If he is acting desperate and has no self respect, he is more likely to be taken as a stalker.
Learning to be great at wooing is not a bad thing. Shame it had to come at such a price though. (Feeling that women will be intimidated or frightened by your appearance.)
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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In high school, I won a couple of small art contests and got my picture in the paper. Some guy I didn't know called me. He wasn't very articulate, but I wasn't rude.
Then, he walked 6miles to my house, arriving just as we were going to church on Wednesday night. So we took him with us, and drove him home afterward. My parents and I had been very polite to him, but inside I was wondering what they thought. I was hoping they didn't like him too much, because it was a little creepy for me.
Then, as we pulled out of his parent's driveway, my papa started singing "Froggy Went A-Courting" in his impressive tenor. That's when I realized I had the best parents In THe World. Protective of me, but sensitive to the feelings of the strange, obsessive types I seemed to draw. I knew they would never let me be in danger, but I also knew they would be kind to my stalkers. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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That is ~~so~~ cool. Reminds me of something Ender's parents would do. What can a guy do? You are irresistable.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I dunno. I think I was just the right mix of cute and friendly/approachable. If I'd been really gorgeous, I bet I would have had fewer incidents of weirdness. Like, this one guy in my art class was all upset because a girl wouldn't go out with him. A girl he was sure God had told him was the one for him. I got shifted to his table (in one of those teacher-trying-to-make-class-behave-by-splitting-up-friends moves), and sort of got the story out of him. Tried to tell him it wasn't the end of the world (the girl in question was an aquiantance of mine, who, erm, didn't even like guys-- didn't tell HIM that, of course).
Nextthing I know, he's following me from the lunchroom to my locker, then my locker to my class, etc. Not talking, just...following. *shudder* I stopped and wakled the other way, so did he.
Me: What are you DOING? Him: I'm courting you. Me: *goes about her business, ignoring her 6' 7" 90 lb. shadow*
He even stayed after school, knowing I had an extra curricular. I knew he would be there afterthe extracurricular, so I had freshman buddy walk me to locker on the excuse that it was broken (Stalker Boy would probably have been better able to fix the locker, had it been broken, than Sweet, Short Freshman). I was so grateful, I gave Sweet Freshman a ride home (3 or 4 blocks).
From then on, Sweet Freshman was in love with me, but him I didn't mind so much. We were friends, and I just pretended not know he liked me (and pretended I didn't like him, because he was freakin' 14 for crying out loud, and I was 17. I mean, it's always good to date people on the same side of puberty as you).
Sorry to ramble. When I was young, I picked up stalkers like shaggy dog picks up fleas, so I think of myself as something of an expert on being a stalkee.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: because he was freakin' 14 for crying out loud, and I was 17. I mean, it's always good to date people on the same side of puberty as you
That is a cute story. Maybe they could sense that even if you wouldn't return their adoration, you wouldn't squash 'em either.
He definitely qualifies as the desperate with no self-respect type. I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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When Ron and I married, our first appartment turned out to be in the delivery area for a Dominoes Pizza franchise that Sweet Freshman was, by then, manager of.
He was covering for a delivery guy who didn't show one night, which is how I found out. After that, he'd always cut us a deal on pizza, or send 2 liter sodas we hadn't asked for. He even got me a bunch of pizzas for an office party really cheap. Even called us when they had undelivered or unpaid for pizza to give away.Ron liked him, even though he still seemed to be crushing on me a little.
Ron'll put up with a lot when free pizza is involved. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wow! That is one dedicated stalker! I find myself wondering about this magical magnetism you possess that turns strange, forlorn males into your willing slaves.
Wanna share your secret?
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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That was so sweet CT! I love how intimately you know your friends! You pick up on the subtle details that really make magic happen. If only we could all see ourselves through your eyes. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I like being courted. I think it's all about the desperation in the voice. If you can sense the desperation, then it's stalking. If he's self-confident - has good points and knows it - then it's because he's noticed you, and if he's patient and doesn't push, then it's courting. And it's effective.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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The first time I was engaged - RIGHT after my mission - I had a very clear idea of what I wanted. Simple, gold, with a little filligree, a sapphire in the center, and three little marquis diamonds arranged like a fan along the side. Jim and I went to the jewelry store and there they had a diamond that had been colored - it was gorgeous. A deep blue-green - I've never seen that color in a gem stone before or since. Jim designed the ring, and it was perfect.
I never wore it - called it before he gave it to me - and this is a good thing because I am tremendously, tremendously glad I didn't marry him, but a very shallow part of me still misses the ring. Is that terrible? The problem is that it was the perfect ring - it's still the design and style I like best, and now I can't have it. I'm going to have to come up with something different. Dagnabbit. I liked that one.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Ah, the string of broken hearts in my dear Katie's wake! I wonder how they can manage without her!
Katies is the kind of girl that guys lose capacity for rational thought around. At least at first, until they realize how darling and sweet she is. They fall for her @$$ over teakettle. It isn't her fault, really.
When the right man comes along and woos her heart, he will be the object of much envy, I'm sure.
P.S. CT is too kind, but I love her. And don't let her fool you-- she's every bit as gorgeous and magnetic as she claims I am. And more eloquent, to boot. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: but a very shallow part of me still misses the ring. Is that terrible?
This is horrible for me to say, but I feel the same way about my first engagement ring. I did, after all, pick it out myself. It was all gold, it "swirled" a bit, and had a textured portion.
Porter picked out the one he gave me. While it is not one I would have picked out myself, it is a gorgeous tasteful ring and I love him for doing such a good job picking it out. To this day I get compliments on this ring! Platinum, round cut, six-prong, diamond in the center with two smaller bezel set diamonds on the side with a simple gold accent on either side. Simple, elegant, beautiful.
And the center diamond itself he hand picked. It has a fire and clarity to it that is amazing.
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Shame it had to come at such a price though. (Feeling that women will be intimidated or frightened by your appearance.)
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Reminds me of something Ender's parents would do. What can a guy do? You are irresistable.
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