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Josephus records that the two thieves crucified next to Jesus were heard to sing that immortal song Tomb by ya, m'lord, tomb by ya.
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I have two devout Muslim friends. One has a Sunni disposition. The other just doesn't give a Shiite.
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Do you 'ave Maria around here? And did my friends arrive yet? Allie, Lou? Yeah? Kyrie is. His dad is so untruthful, though. He is a liar's son.
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As for your "shroud" pun, I think you'd better Turin the other cheek. Maybe you should think of the impression you're making. And here I was thinking you might be a man of the cloth. I pinned all my hoax and dreams on you.
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Bob Dylan was recently made a Latin teacher. They call him Magister Dylan. Or, Mag. Dylan. He was very mary and joyful.
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We could all take a lesson from those fish down at the pier. They travel in large familial groups, thus leading to the aphorism: Clanliness is next to Codliness.
Of course, there's the other version about pheromones: Glandliness is next to cuddliness.
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Some of the people mentioned in Genesis (Methuselah especially) lived so long that just making a cake big enough to hold all the birthday candles was the job of scores of skilled craftsmen working for months in advance. Then, just to bring the cake to the celebration, they had to build a giant boat and float it in. It became legendary! Surely you've heard of the pastry arks of the Old Testament.
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I remember those guys! I read a cartoon about them, by Doctor Zeus. One of them had red hera, right? And life was free. They did not have any charges, Or Fees? And no one tells you You're a disease.
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I HATE it when the other pimps puts down the other guy's prostitute so badly. They are always saying:"Yo ho's so fat!"
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There is a belief system called Monism. The belief that what people perceive as deity, humanity and the rest of the universe is in fact all of one substance - that divisions among the body, mind, flesh, spirit, material, physical are not real. All are simply aspects of one being. I'm curious if the LDS just think they are bigger and better and therefore are Mor Monism.
Or what about ascribing to Monism but trusting to your impressions of things and calling your religion Monetism.
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I had a friend who used to hunt a lot. He had peculiar dogs. The dogs enjoyed the viscera from the kills, but they preferred them cut up into little bits and then burned.
Everyone knows that owners love to please their animals. So after every hunting trip, after dressing and preparing the kill...
My friend would give burnt offalings to the dogs.
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I was reviewing this thread and wanted to clarify something. Bob, you related a tale about Noah counting animals. I'm pretty sure that Noah count stories are frowned upon.
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I know a town that is proud of its history. About 150 years ago, shortly after the town was settled, they were almost wiped out by a band of marauding bandits. The town was saved by three holy men, trained in martial arts, who were armed with only their bare hands. They beat the marauders off.
To this day, the town sets aside a day each year to celebrate the Fists of the Saints.
(this is probably it for me for a couple days - I gotta go catch a plane in a few hours and won't be back until Thursday afternoon. Not much access in the meantime. But I'll make notes of any ideas that pop up while I'm offline.
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Salad lovers are more religious than the rest of us. They begin each meal with "Lettuce Prey."
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@#$@#$ hail has ruined my mothers green house. Here prize winning red flowers are now kept in a Holey Rosery.
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I've got a cousin that lives in California. His kids go to a school that rasises money through a effort known as scrip. He has volunteered to help with the scrip effort. He says he is not only helping his kids school become financially sound he is bolstering his spiritual bank. After all he is working at his scrip chore.
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Jesus' parents couldn't do anything with him as a teenager. Mary finally turned to Joseph and said "what are we going to do with him? Every day it's the same thing, he loafs and fishes, loafs and fishes. It's endless!"
"Well," Joseph said, "at least he's not out getting stoned."
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God was baffled. He would take a girl out for a good time, show off his crappy Chrysler import from the 1980's, and BANG, she'd get pregnant. Turns out he was Omni potent.
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I understand there is some fella, Ben something or other, with an VoIP speech website. It's called Ben E Diction.com
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I understand that Lucifer has applied for tax exempt status. He claims he is a "Not for Prophet" entity.
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I've got a buddy that's been married for 10 years. He and his wife have been trying to have a child for 7 of those 10 years. So far they've had no luck and his wife has become a bit acerbic. She made reference to the size of his tool as being less than adequate. I believe she called him a needle d*ck and said that if they ever did concieve it would be an innoculate conception.
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There was this guy who hated Rome, back in the days when the Catholic church was seated there, and there only. He HATED the idea of being immersed in water for baptism. So, long story short, he moved west, to Turkey, because he said, "I Can't Stand in No Pool."
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God and Lucifer were having a friendly chat about their unending competition. Lucifer had asked a pointed question about the sacrifice of beloved apprentices and if God ever regretted their suffering. God didn't answer the question directly and instead steered the conversation to New England in the late 1600's. God was curious if Lucifer felt any remorse over the loss of his witches in Massachusetts. I believe his question was, "Jerusalem?"
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BTW I have to say I'm particularly proud of the Jerusalem pun. I was just explaining it to my daughter. I hope it made more sense to you than it did to her.
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