I completely agree with you. I've been laughing at these books and their unsubtle sex = death metaphors, but in all honesty they really irritate me. Like what we need is a generation of teenage girls who thinks stalkers are romantic.
Posts: 910 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
I really don't see how Edward is controlling and abusive. And I read Why Does He Do that some months ago. He doesn't fit the profile.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Shanna, you did a great job summing up my feelings on the books!
Syn, it's not direct - but there is an undertone of violence in his relationship with Bella, and quite frankly, I don't think any relationship with that type of violent undertone is healthy and is something that should be encouraged.
He. Wants. To. Kill. Her.
Please let us not forget that. Yeah, he claims he loves her for herself, for more than just the fact that he had that visceral, predatory reaction to her the first time he met her, but the fact remains his main attraction to her is a desire to consume her. LITERALLY!
What makes him controlling and abusive? Well, he has all the power in the relationship. All of it. She cannot exist without him, not as a whole, real person. The pages in the second book, with the months on them and no content? That made me sick. And scared me. Most of the people who've read the books said they found that funny - I found it disturbing. It indicates that for the months he was gone she had no life, no true existence within herself. She defines herself by how HE sees her, rather than by herself.
When she did get up and try to go "get a life" without him, she did it by engaging in self-destructive behavior! Again, very unhealthy and scary.
All those things add up to a very frightening relationship with some major warning signals. And the fact that so many young teen readers overlook that and react in a manner similiar to saying "Well, he's hot and so angsty so it's okay!' makes me very worried.
All that said, I still enjoyed reading them. The books are about obsession, after all, so we as readers get caught up in the obsession and swept along for the ride. It can be fun to go along for the ride on these types of things. I'm certainly not saying the books shouldn't be read - I let my teen daughter read them - but we shouldn't close our eyes to what the books are about and how the characters are behaving. I've told my daughter how I feel about the books and we discuss them - she doesn't completely agree with me, but she acknowledges my feelings. We've discussed what traits in Edward she would do better NOT to look for in a potential boyfriend.
As always, I am against censoring material and think people should read widely and for fun. But, I advocate parents reading what their children are reading and talking about it with them.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Actually we discussed the other day whether she would ever find a boyfriend at all. Not that I'm pressuring her to date, I think most young people rush into that anyway, but she has such incredibly high standards she borders on being a complete snob.
She finds boys her own age immature and annoying. Imagine that! Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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On the subject of emotional manipulation, there's this disturbing conversation between Jacob and Bella:
quote:“He’s not playing any game, Jake,” I said quietly. “You bet he is. He’s playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he’s doing and I don’t. Don’t blame me because he’s a better manipulator than I am — I haven’t been around long enough to learn all his tricks.” “He isn’t manipulating me!” “Yes, he is! When are you going to wake up and realize that he’s not a perfect as you think he is?” “At least he didn’t threaten to kill himself to make me kiss him,” I snapped. As soon as the words were out, I flushed with chagrin. “Wait. Pretend that didn’t slip out. I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to say anything about that.”
I was fine with the whole "I want to drink your blood" thing aside from the fact that its such a huge reason why he's attracted to her.
I was more disturbed by the constant "I'm doing this because I love you." Saying "I love you" or being concerned is not reason enough to disassemble someone's car to keep them from going places. You can't force someone to fill out college applications, a good boyfriend doesn't make his sister kidnap his girlfriend whenever he isn't there to keep an eye on her, etc. A good boyfriend might make a request and present an argument while leaving decisions ultimately up to her. But Edward seems to cross that line. He doesn't just ask her to fill out college applications despite her decision, he forges her signature and bribes schools into accepting her. Instead of respecting the fact that she wants the man she's giving up her humanity for to bite her, he blackmails her into a wedding she very clearly doesn't want or isn't ready for.
He's also physically stronger than her so whenever she tries to resist or take action, he easily overpowers her. He's jealous and possessive she's constantly apologizing when he loses his temper. There's just no equality between them. I've been in that kind of relationship. Its not healthy!'
Googling signs of an emotionally abuse boyfriend I found:
quote: -Heavily into car image, drives aggressively, ignores needs of passengers -Is jealous of your opposite sex friends and former partners - acts hurt, upset or moody if you give attention to someone else. -Pushy and judgmental - knows what's best for every one (especially you) - they are always right, never admits they are wrong -Non-verbal, very intense, staring -Ridicules people who are different (the whole "dog" and "bloodsucker" thing) -Wants to fast-track the relationship (ie sharing a bed, wedding after a year together). - Doesn’t accept or respect your decisions. - Doesn’t trust you. - Checks up on you. - Tells you what you “should” do. - Says he can’t live without you or he will kill himself if you leave him. - Makes you feel responsible for his feelings - Makes you afraid of telling him the truth, so you find yourself not telling him things or lying to him in order to avoid fights and conflicts. Grabbing your arm or blocking the door when you are trying to leave is one of the first signs the emotional abuse may later turn into physical violence.
While the emotional abuse could lead to physical violence, it doesn't always lead to this. The abusive person might learn he can sufficiently control you with psychological abuse, guilt trips, fear, professions of love, apologies, gifts and other manipulation.
posted
I've only read the first book, and that was fine, but I wasn't interested in the rest. It sounds like it's gotten much more abusive during it's run.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Kwea: I want to read about Damar...but she HAS written two stories about it, so she is doing better than some....
Three, if you count Deerskin. Though judging what era Lissar lived in compared to when Aerin lived is difficult. Certainly, it takes place long before Harry comes into the picture.
(Not to mention the short stories in A Knot in the Grain, Water, and the mention in Spindle's End.)
I just about spat all over my computer. Those are Damar stories??
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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My wife loves the Bella/Edward books. I picked one up for a minute and all I can remember is a highly excessive (IMO) amount of description of how hard Edward's body is, and how thrilled Bella is to be touched by him. It was just not quite my cup of tea. My wife just got giggly when I asked her if the whole book was like this. I took it as a "yes" - the plot summary posted in this thread seems to confirm.
It had the same flavor as romance genre novels I've picked up and read a page or two from, but of course a bit less explicit in its eroticism.
Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I recently read Host by her, and one of my big complaints was how the female protagonists were treated by their love interests. Beverly told me that it's even worse in her Twilight books, which makes me have no interest in reading them.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:I recently read Host by her, and one of my big complaints was how the female protagonists were treated by their love interests. Beverly told me that it's even worse in her Twilight books, which makes me have no interest in reading them.
I also just finished the Host. I thought it was a fairly enjoyable and interesting read. But the relationships irritated me as well. The females all seemed to hero-worship their significant others while all of the males felt they had full authority over their girl. From what I've heard of Twilight, I don't have any real interest.
Posts: 1947 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I'm just so relieved that there are other people who didn't like the series. Everyone else I know adores the books and can't understand why I don't.
I did like The Host much better, though.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I was more interested in the ancient Roman vampires and their society. Plus, the special powers of Edward and Alice were pretty nifty. Basically, I enjoyed any part of the plot that didn't have to do with romance.
Posts: 339 | Registered: Apr 2008
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Shanna!
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dont read it....... ever
