posted
I help them all the time with chores, renovations, unpacking/repacking ceramic stock at flea markets, help with pouring ceramics urn molds and demolding those same urbns theres alot fo stuff me and my younger brother do around the house.
posted
If you know how to program, do contract work. You might not be able to get paid much in order to remain competitive, but it can probably get you out of your current situation. Even if you have to do one and two day jobs that might pay $20, those add up.
I don't know your background: where are you geographically?
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: Im in my third year of college in computer science useless until i actually complete it.
Nonsense. If you got 2 year of college level computer science behind you, you have lots of options. There are many many places, probably even some on your University campus, which are seeking to hire part time computer people to do web design, small programming projects, man help desks, provide computer support or even be part time sys administrators. People with BS degrees command such high salaries that many places are willing to hire people who are working on degrees for part time positions. My department has hired several such people over the past few years. I know an awful lot of people working in IT jobs who have only a two year associates degree. Certainly if you are in the 3rd year of BS Computer Science degree, you have skills you can market. I'm surprised your department doesn't have some sort of intern program in place but even if it doesn't there should be plenty of opportunities.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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Blayne Bradley
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posted
They do yes called Stage buuuut Im only technically saitll doing second year course cuz the policies here are stupid, I failed a single class and it was a prerequisit so I had to wait until the course was offered again a year later before pasisng it and moving on.
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Blayne, an IEP is an individualized educational plan. See next post for an explanation. And BTW, if you did have one, it would not mean you were stupid -- just that you had a different learning process that hindered (or might have hindered) your progress in the traditional system.
I wanted to know because if you have a non-typical learning style, this would have likely been identified in school. And if so, this could be preventing you from doing traditional work open [to] young people, as well as being a source of some conflict in living with / getting along with others, including your family. Were this the case (especially if you already had a documented difference in this area), then there probably are governmental resources open to you for assistance in developing an independent living situation.
Actually, come to think of it, you did say you were in college, but you didn't say specifically that you had finished high school, and that is indeed a different matter. (E.g., I didn't finish high school, and I went through to an advanced degree nonetheless.)
Did you actually finish high school, or did you get a GED, or did you (like me) just start attending university?
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Blayne, I dropped out of college after two years spent working towards an English major. And I'm working in IT right now. It's doable, but you have to try.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:WHAT IS A LEARNING DISABILITY? ... Basically, a learning disability is a dysfunction of the central nervous system in an individual of potentially average to above average intelligence. This disability is not related to intelligence but rather to a problem in processing information. Learning disabilities may be manifested by delays in early development and/or difficulty in attention, memory, reasoning, coordination, communication, reading, writing, spelling, calculation, social competence and emotional maturation. ... The Education Act and Educational Services
The new Education Act was enacted on July 1st 1998. It stipulates the legal obligations that schools and school boards must meet: educational services, the assessment of the student as well as establish an individualized education plan (IEP) adapted to the needs of the student. Tha law also gives schools certain functions and powers relating to educational services, material resources, financial resources, community services as well as human resources. ... Establishment of an education plan, section 96.14 In the case of a handicapped student or a student with a social maladjustment or a learning disability, the principal, with the assistance of the student's parents, of the staff providing services to the student, and of the student himself, unless the student is unable to do so, shall establish an individualized education plan adapted to the needs of the student.
The plan must be consistent with the school board's policy concerning the organization of services for handicapped students and students with social maladjustments or learning disabilities and in keeping with the ability and needs of the student as evaluated by the school board before the student's placement and enrollment at the school. The principal shall see to the implementation and periodical evaluation of the education plan and inform the student's parents on a regular basis.
So, in basic terms, to question could be rephrased as such:
Did you and/or your parents ever meet with your school's principal and/or your teachers more frequently or on a more regular basis than would an average student and his parents at your school? Or were you and your parents never invited to attend meetings like this for you?
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Blayne, an IEP is an individualized educational plan. And BTW, if you did have one, it would not mean you were stupid
Absolutely. My son has an IEP, and testing shows him to be far above average intelligence.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Blayne, an IEP is an individualized educational plan. And BTW, if you did have one, it would not mean you were stupid
Absolutely. My son has an IEP, and testing shows him to be far above average intelligence.
*nods
There is a weird stigma to processing information in an unusual way, although actually I think it's pretty cool. And so many very bright and smart kids with IT-related talents just don't fit the mold, you know?
What makes it a "disability" is that the rest of the world isn't structured to fit you, unlike most other people. Sort of like you have a left-handed brain but are trying to use right-handed handles on the world. Just different, not bad or worse.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Blayne Bradley
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posted
Waaait a second memories are coming back now I remmber in highschool or elementary school having a "resource" period where teachers helpoed me on ceertain assingments and I went there ot read and relax but my memories are too foggy to remeber.... okay it was highschool.
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Blayne, I don't know about your college, but mine offers jobs to undergraduates that actually pay pretty well. I think the undergrads in my office just got a raise and are making around $9 an hour. You don't need a degree, and it doesn't necessarily need to be computer science related. A lot of ours do clerical work. And the hours are usually flexible.
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: Waaait a second memories are coming back now I remmber in highschool or elementary school having a "resource" period where teachers helpoed me on ceertain assingments and I went there ot read and relax but my memories are too foggy to remeber.... okay it was highschool.
That might make sense of a lot of your difficulties with work and home life, actually. Have you thought about checking into whether there are specific resources geared towards facillitating your work life and independence from your family?
And this would not be a hand-out, by the way. This would be an investment of your community into your productivity as a member of that community. Hooking yourself up with such resources (if appropriate) is a very mature and laudable way of making the most out of yourself and the situation you were born in.
---
Edited to add: We are all born into a certain unique situation. Mine includes a broken heart (*smile), which is why I took advantage of my communities' resources to fix that broken valve. Twice now, actually. And if I had a "left-handed brain" in this right-handed world, I'd also take advantages of the resources set aside to ameliorate that situation, too.
[Especially since I can now be independent and offer some useful skills and talents back to the world.]
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Blayne Bradley
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Yes I did graduate the only thing that was hindering my ability to do so form an academic standpoint is my french marks I just barely past french, you need to pass french to graduate form highschool isnt that retarded or what.
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: form an academic standpoint is my french marks I just barely past french, you need to pass french to graduate form highschool isnt that retarded or what.
Did you past English?
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I think it's pretty obvious that the correct answer is to wait until your dad is sleeping and shave off one of his eyebrows.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Blayne, I dropped out of college after two years spent working towards an English major. And I'm working in IT right now. It's doable, but you have to try.
That's kind of eerie - I did almost the exact same thing.
...
Blayne, seriously, that sucks, and I'm sorry.
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Blayne Bradley
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Nah Im pretty sure any special attention I got was because for years my hearing was bad I had soem ind of ear infection where they put these little green tubes in them to drain fluid. They fell out in about 2nd-3rd grade. Since then I had to take a class to work on my pronounciation, I speak like a Korean alot of the times.
So I dont think I have any real disability currently affecting me just the side effects of somthing that happened a while back.
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Blayne Bradley
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Ahhhh crap. =(
quote:
Perceiving Thinking Remembering Learning Language Processing Difficulties in processing sarcasm or understanding when someone is joking Difficulty taking another’s perspective Difficulties in understanding: long or complex sentence structure; and with figures of speech Difficulties with: retrieving vocabulary words; orally presented task demands Difficulties with new vocabulary and responses to teacher-directed questions
Clearly your father is frustrated. His reactions are not good (he shouldn't have hit you). Most of the concerns being expressed here are not about that incident, however, but have more to do with the future.
There are some things I would like to ask you, or rather, I'd like to have you ask them of yourself:
1) Is there anything you can do to de-escalate the situation with your father? Clearly avoiding being a smart-mouth would help, but would that be enough? Perhaps he has some pent-up antipathy toward you that you could alleviate in some way? I suspect that your obtaining and holding a job might be a priority for him, for example. I don't know that, but I figure it's probably a fairly understandable thought on his part. Perhaps if you did that, and started paying some rent or contributed toward the household expenses in other ways, it'd help to address whatever his problems are with you right now.
2) Does your father physically abuse your mother or your younger siblings? Is this a situation requiring intervention? I mean, really, if he's going to go punching you in frustration, what does he do to your mother and any younger kids that are in the house?
3) What are you doing right now to prepare a way for you to leave? If the answer is "just going to school," then I think you need to do more. I like the idea of getting some evaluation and help from whatever resources are available to you (a la CT's posts), but there should also be things like career counseling from within your department, job fairs coming up in the next semester, paid internships, work study, etc., etc. Ways for you to gain paid experience in your field that will help you become employed (and employable) when the time does come.
4) How much time do you waste? Until you are established along a path that gets you where you want to be, I humbly suggest that you need to evaluate this question periodically. It's not like I would ever advocate having to be laser-focused on career goals to the exclusion of all else that you enjoy in life, but I get the sense that you escape into a world of gaming and don't spend ANY time focusing on your future. If your future was assured, hey, no big deal. But you have clearly outlined a living situation which is untenable for the long term and so you should be working to remedy that situation...long term.
5) How much money do you really need to move out now? In particular, do you have ANYONE you could go live with (a relative or friend) with whom you could share expenses. Can you find a job that nets you a few hundred dollars a month and then get into a share situation? Or, have your parents basically said that they will cut off all support (even for education costs) if you move out?
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Blayne Bradley
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posted
and the most damning of all.
quote:
Difficulty writing since spelling may not be automatic
posted
1) The main problem here that all the problems will start the MOMENT I do something wrong it could be as inconsequencial as triping going up the stair and then he'll go on "you always trip going up the stairs your overweight, where are you "logsheets" why why why why why!!! Do this do that do this even if its not your day to do it" and then hell go on implying how stupid I am. For example if I miss even one little spot clenaing a pot hell redo it foricng me to watch as he "teaches me" how to do it right. And if I walk away as he wastes my time I get yelled at.
2) any fighting between my parents may have or may not have happened when I was alot younger but I have no clear memory of it happening in recent history AFAIK. And no I do not believe my brother has been hit recently either I seem to be taking all of he unwanted attention nowadays.
3) I'm trying everyway I can to get a job that hopefully isnt me working as a dishwasher (3 lkewise underthe table jobs is enough thank you veyr much) I went to the college people and im tyring to apply for loans/bursuries and trying to find a job as well via the school.
4) More then I'll even admit to myself. Failing a class has woken me up a little but getting any sort of job never occured to me until I was 18 when my allowance for doing chores stopped and I realized "hey if I work I cna buy stuff". But yes I have wasted alot of time I know that I should be working harder to get a career going.
5) Somewhat to that effect yes, I suspect if I mvoe out ill be on my own completely. The cost of school is around 1600 a year ~200 for books. And I suspect barebones rent is 3000-4000 a year Net' amd utilities are probly naother 1000.
If I could save up 6000 dollars I suspect I could move to the town where my college is located.
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I cannot speak for Bob, but when I read the "wasting time" question I felt that he may have been referring to your time spent online. Every other thread you start here is about a game you are playing, or an imaginary/alternate reality game. I get that you enjoy these games and you feel that the hours and hours you spend playing these games helps you forget about your unhappy situation and are a nice escape, they shouldn't be a priority. Not right now. I don't know, but I think it may be a good idea for you to setup a reward program for yourself. For every 2 hours you spend looking for work, you give yourself 1 hour of playing time. If you spend 5 hours in the evening scouring ads, going to places and applying, then you can play online later that evening for 2.5 hours. (At this point in your life by the way, NO job is beneath you. You need the money, you are getting an education, if the job is legal than it IS NOT beneath you. You could be a dishwasher, fry cook. Nobody will define you by where you work right now, you are a student.) Do not let a gaming schedule dictate your life. It will lead to missed opportunity. I am sure the people you play with will understand you need a job to move out, be happy, and be a better companion in these games. I don't know how your games work but you talk about needing to be online at a certain time and the world relies on it. this is unhealthy.
The Money thing:
You don't need an entire years worth of living expenses before moving out. Just a couple of months. Continue working for the rest. You also don't NEED internet at home, regardless of what you think. Use the school computer lab if you have to. You may think it sucks but it will do.
posted
If you have enough money for the necessary deposits (and necessary, in this case, are just apt, electricity, and water) and a job, then you have everything you need to move out.
In fact, if you got a job (and Ben is right, any job is better than no job) I bet your parents would be willing to help you out with the deposits. It'd be a good investment on their part to help you get set up on your own.
As for school, I know in the US there are very generous and accessible programs for student loans. They are just what the name implies, though: loans. In other words, you'll have to pay them back at some point. But that's not a cause for concern in most cases, because once you get a degree you'll get a good job and the repayment schedules are very easy to meet.
As for your dad, what seem like little things to you could very well be the last straw things for him. In other words, as Bob touched on, he might be frustrated with your life track in general and the next 'little' thing you do will set him off. My parents were like that when I was in high school -- yelling at me for little things. But when I got older I realized the little things were symptomatic of larger attitude problems on my part.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
But you lawn is so green and fresh
Student loans sound like a good idea, I think theres no interest on them for as long as I am a student.
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I don't know how it works in Quebec, but in Ontario, interest doesn't kick in until six months after graduation. That isn't really enough time to pay them back interest-free if they're even moderate in size, but it's better than normal loans.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Blayne Bradley
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posted
I was about to post something but then I realized it was pointless. Much like this post to my own amazement.
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Even though student loans aren't interest-free, the interest is extremely low. It's often lower than inflation, which makes it virtually interest-free.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Blayne, I don't lie and I don't sugarcoat things for the sake of political correctness. When I say "different, not worse or bad but different," that's exactly what I mean. It is not code for "you're broken" or "you are defective."
If this sort of difference really is a part of how you are in the world, then your parents may not have the tools and knowledge to make this transition feasible for you. That doesn't excuse punching you in the stomach -- ever! -- but it does definitely mean that trying to make it work with only them may be beating your head against a brick wall.
You are an adult now, mostly, and you are in charge of your own life. Whatever anyone may have told you, this is your life, nobody else's. And it is perfectly appropriate and okay for you to start making some safe and sensible decisions about how to proceed next. The decisions should be ones that keep you safe, but they are yours to make.
Why not just send an email to Desirée Chaker from "Destination Employment" ( desireechaker@hotmail.com )? Quebec may pay for the formal assessment of where you are in relation to how the world is set up, if I am reading that website correctly. And then you'd start to get hooked in to a system that is already set up to make the world work better for all the extremely intelligent, sharp, outside-the-boring-box people like you -- employers who have agreed to sign on with someone with different talents and who expect some of the things that may have surprised your former employers, etc.
I bet you could write her an email (and be sure to mention that you did have special assistance in high school), figure out what to do next, and then decide whether or not to start involving your folks. They may be delighted at you taking the initiative, but it could be threatening to them, too, so be careful. My advice would be to get the process started (it's your life, remember -- really, it is) and then go from there.
Good luck. Email me at sara dot sasse at gmail dot com if I can be of any help.
I'm looking forward to seeing you work things out. That would be awful cool, and it could make you a great role model for some other kids here or in Hatrackers' families. How awesome.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: and the most damning of all.
quote:
Difficulty writing since spelling may not be automatic
Grrhm.
"Damning?" Why is this a BAD thing? As ClaudiaTherese pointed out, you probably just learn differently. It's not "bad" or "good," just "different" - but because the world is ordered so that it's easier on how the majority learns, it's more difficult for you.
You're really lucky that Canada has resources for people in your situation (apparently)! I'm not aware of any community resources for folks like you in my state. I say you should learn more about this resource, apply, and see if they can't help you get into a situation where you feel better about yourself!
Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: Even though student loans aren't interest-free, the interest is extremely low. It's often lower than inflation, which makes it virtually interest-free.
Yes! My payments on my $7,000 remaining loans are about $72 per month. Pretty do-able, all in all! This might be a good thing to look into, Blayne.
Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: Even though student loans aren't interest-free, the interest is extremely low. It's often lower than inflation, which makes it virtually interest-free.
Not in Canada. My student loans have a higher interest rate than my mortgage, my car loan, and my line of credit.
The payments are usually spread over a longer period than a car loan though. My loan had a 10 year term and my payments are pretty low.
Posts: 1336 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
I haven't gotten punched in the stomach since boxing(ouch). Bad situation to be in, I feel for you man. Posts: 1158 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I think it's basically "Mockers of other's spelling or grammar errors invariably make an error in said mocking post."
But I was quoting "past" instead of "passed" intentionally. I'm the exceptional mocker that proves the Law.
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
*fingers crossed for you
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Well thursday morning (I have been at a friends house from thursday afternoon to just now and thus away from a computer) I was negotiating about me going to "The Vault" (some christian recreational place been there to play Smash Brothers Melee) and my dad is like well of course you cant go you had a bad altitubde with terms like asshole f you, etc. my mom and my brother immediately say this is ridiculas considering how after he pounched me he called me an asshole several times and my saying f you several times was as aresult of my writhing on the floor crying.
Next me and my brother are waiting in the car about to drive to our college when my dad come and tells my brother to hold onto my moms purse.
My brother says no there's no room to put it so my dadroghlky opens the door and shoves him the purse and slams the door so my brother says ef off. My dad proceeds to come bak open the door and proceeds to punch and kick him several times and ends up pulling on my brothers hair telling my brothe to "calm down".
MY brother is in his seast with his seatbelt on this entire time btw so cant fight back.
I'm just about to get out of my seat at this point when my brother says "hell calm down" but as soon as my dad walks away he jumps out of the ccar and proceeds to punch him in the back as my dad was walking away.
It is finally at this point my mom walks out of the barn and yells at my dd to stop and angrily tells him to get a job, that she cant handle this anymore, she will not work harder if this kind of stuff continues.
And as we're about to drive off my dad in his stupididly tells my brother that hitting people in the back is a low thing to do.
Can anyone find the logical flaw in the above statement.
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That would be awful cool, and it could make you a great role model for some other kids here or in Hatrackers' families. How awesome.
