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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Valentines Non-great Poetry (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Valentines Non-great Poetry
Elizabeth
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I love you very much
And really want for us to marry
But when are parts do touch
The only way is missionary
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punwit
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[Evil Laugh]

My horse, I say, I do adore
Which does present a moral quandry
I'll defend our love and even more
I'll press to legalize animal husbandry

Edit awful metre to something a tad bit better.

[ February 16, 2005, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
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ketchupqueen
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*winces* punwit, can you do something about the metre? I know we're not going for perfection here, but that one hurt.
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punwit
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I know it's not very good. I've fiddled with it and that was the best I could do. I'll keep trying and edit if I come up with something better.
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ketchupqueen
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All right, thank you.
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MrSquicky
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When I saw you in that sweater
I knew I'd never want another
Other girls looks are better
But you remind me of my mother

[ February 16, 2005, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: MrSquicky ]
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Elizabeth
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When we first wed, it was so grand
That trip to old Niagra!
But it seems that you have come unmanned
And now you need Viagra

[ February 16, 2005, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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advice for robots
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I love the gold hoop earrings
that are hanging from your ears.
But use a tad more lipstick or
I'll need a few more beers.
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Dan_raven
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Oh yes, I am so sorry
I apologize my wife
You were right and I was wrong
Now please put down the knife.

Your mom is sweet, your dad is great
Your sister--I detest
Of all your family I have met
With you, the sex was best.

We danced divine on our first date
We danced our wedding dance, twas great
But the best dance I did save
To Macarena on your grave.

Someone stop me before I rhyme again.
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Elizabeth
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Your love for me is oh so true
So please make that a habit
Cuz if you don't, then you should know
My mom's Lorraina Bobbitt.

(this rhyme only works with a British or Boston Brahmin accent)
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Dan_raven
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Try this rhyme...

You ignore me for DVD
Of elf and orc and hobbit.
I'll make you a true half-man
Or I'm not Lorraina Bobbit.
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Elizabeth
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Ha! I thought it best not to bring hobbits into this thread.
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Orson Scott Card
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I'm just heartbroken I came to this brilliant thread so long after Valentine's.

And May Day just doesn't offer the same rich possibilities.

Mother's Day, though ... now there's a thought.
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ketchupqueen
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Ah, this thread was so much fun...

I was rather proud of the "allergic to paella" one. The premise came about because I mentioned paella and my husband didn't know what it was. [Big Grin]
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