posted
Ok, just for clarification: any proposal or ring connected in any fashion to Wal-Mart is right out.
I've also been a fan of the "just suck it up and pick out a ring" philosophy. I think picking out a ring together is a bit silly. He's the one buying it for you, he should get what he thinks is nice. By then he should know you well enough to know if you've got any deep-seated hatred for emeralds. I have a friend whose now-husband proposed and gave her a gold and diamond ring that was shaped like a heart. She admitted it was a little tacky but thought it that much more endearing because her sweet boy picked it out for her. They're some of my favorite people.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
Geez, that poor guy! I wonder what happened between the two of them later.
My husband proposed in private, but he did pick out my ring all by himself. He took his sister along to help him. I have always loved it because I know that it came from his heart. It's a beautiful ring, so thankfully he has good taste!
posted
Any tech savvy female who is dating a geek, should simply keep an easy to access folder pictures of a variety of rings in various price ranges that you actually like on a computer or website. He might have to prowl around in the directory to find it but he needs to work a little! That way should the time come, he can easily figure out exactly what you like, without having to directly consult you.
I inacted this policy after a friend gave another friend a really crappy engagement ring. She thought it was beautiful, but considering the gems were loose and he'd just bought a big-screen TV for himself, I wanted to smack him back to his senses and go "This is how you appreciate her?!"
However I knew he really did love her so I held my peace.
posted
Annie, I think a few helpful pointers would be nice if you haven't really ever looked at jewelry together. Funny, though...I gave Tom two pointers: I love etching/detail on the ring itself and not a tall setting and his idea of a tall setting and mine were very different.
*grin* That said, I absolutely adore my ring and am very proud that he picked it out himself and did such a great job! I haven't seen any like it anywhere.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
It was more fun to design matching wedding rings with my husband than to get an engagement ring. I got a card that had the proposal written in it, and a very blushing man giving it to me.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
While I normally think public proposals are silly, I have to admit the Hope diamond would be very very romantic. It's just not the same as a sporting event. Also, it would mean we were in the Smithsonian, in DC, which is one of my favorite places in the world.
*makes mental note to leave this lying around somewhere obvious whenever the subject comes up*
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
My father *luvs* sports. My mother could care less. (Though now she *hates* sports because it's like my Dad's "other lover".) He proposed to her at a BYU football game. Not particularly publicly. I just think it is kinda ironic and funny.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
When I proposed to Mary, I wanted to give her a ring as a token of my love to her. I din't want to write a check as a token of my love.
As a result, it was important to me that I pick out the ring and the stone. If she had picked it out herself, I would have just been giving her a check. The ring she wore came from me.
Either she really likes it, or has been amazing gracious about it for all these years. Either way, I love her for it.
posted
I agree that the guy should pick out the ring himself, but hints (hints a typical guy could pick-up... ) would mean less stress for the guy and it would also be nice for the girl whose going to be the one wearing this thing... well assuming she says yes of course (like that's not enough stress as is).
posted
Hints are good. The only one I gave Mr. Opera was, "I would never want a huge diamond ring because my ring finger is a size 4 and it would look stupid." Really, what man doesn't want to hear that his woman doesn't want a big old rock? Heck, that could be the reason he proposed.
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I love the way Bob handled the ring thing. He brought a “temp” ring to propose with, and then we went ring shopping together. The ring we ended up with is nothing like anything I would have hinted for, and if he’d just gone by what I said about rings before we went shopping I never would have ended up with this one. In fact, it’s got a few of the features I said I absolutely didn’t want. But it was just obvious when we were looking at rings that this was “the one.” I love it. I love the guy that gave it to me, and the fact that we chose it together makes it even more special. And it absolutely does not feel like he was proposing by "writing a check."
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
I will be doing everything in my power to avoid wearing a wedding ring. I can't stand constricting things like that. Same with watches, bracelets, turtle neck sweaters. I'd lose the ring within a week. Dad never wore a ring and I plan on humbly following in his footsteps.
Who else is with me?
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Bob, my husband hated wearing his wedding ring for the first week. He said it bugged him constantly. Now he freaks if it's not on because it feels so weird.
posted
In all of this thread I've only seen one story of the girl proposing to the guy... why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?
Yeah, if I ever get married, there's no way I'm wearing the wedding ring. Jewlery on other people often makes me feel sick inside and repulses me from them. There's no way in heck that I'm wearing any. My dad is the same way. He's never worn his wedding ring for as long as I can remember.
posted
Future husband - If you so happen to ever come across this thread, I give you permission and encouragement to propose to me in a grand romantic way....in public. Ok, that is all.
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote: In all of this thread I've only seen one story of the girl proposing to the guy... why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?
I have my own theories about this, but I'm not sure how much I want to get into it. Thinking about it.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: Jewlery on other people often makes me feel sick inside and repulses me from them. There's no way in heck that I'm wearing any.
Consider it. It's your choice of course, but it is a nice guesture (sp?) that you are willing to show the world that you are no longer available, not to mention willing to do something that bugs you for someone you love.
I mean, if it makes you violently ill, then don't do it. Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I picked out my own engagement ring without Andrew's presence. My grandmother collects antique jewelry and she sent me a velvet bag full of engagement rings. It was surreal. I chose this one: http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/kira_marx/detail?.dir=/e208&.dnm=37c7.jpg It was made in 1890 and has the original stones. It's one of the first rings to be made with a Tiffany setting. Andrew insisted on paying for it, even though my grandmother wanted to just give it to him. He wanted it to be from him.
He proposed in Riverside Park, where we went on our first date. It was very romantic and private.
BTW, don't forget that jewelry is NOT covered under your renters' or homeowners' insurance - you have to purchase a separate rider for it.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote: Well that's just lose, lose, what ring will look good when you give it to your future wife in front of the hope dimond?
lol hobbes, I was thinking the same thing
I have always wondered about this subject as well...though I am single and will likely not have to worry about it for a while (to my mother's dismay...she is ready for grandkids) it is something I have thought about. How to know when to ask...and what ring to get. It can be rather nerve racking for a guy. LOL, maybe that is why some guys put the presure of a public proposal on the girl...they figure that since they have had tons of stress, the girl should have some to.
Though I am rather sure I will do it in private.
My parents said they both knew they would get married a while before my dad actually proposed. It was one of those things that after a few months they knew that this was it. I guess they were right since they are still married 28 years later. Maybe it will be easy for me as well...I just have not found anyone that I could live with for the rest of my life. I guess finding the correct ring would be easy compared to finding the person. Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Because the timing was typically up to the man, because the girl is ready as soon as she's hit puberty, but the guy needed to "get the family farm" first, so to speak. The guy did actively things - went out in the world, had adventures - and the girl sat around and looked pretty and passively waited for someone to notice her.
You can tell what I think about that.
That was the original meaning. Now...I think it's because social dynamics are weird and messy enough as it is, and life is just easier if everyone's working from the same playbook.
posted
My (future) wife and I were sitting on a kid's playground at the Orem Rec Center one evening when she kind of let me know that maybe we could go ring shopping.
That was one of the happiest moments of my life. It was very uncomfortable to sit on the metal mesh of the playground for two hours as we talked. But I felt like dancing around and singing because at last I knew she wanted to marry me. I drove home that night singing at the top of my lungs in the car.
We picked out the ring together a week later. I went back and bought it on my own, and set up a nice date in which we ate at the Bombay House and then drove up to Aspen Grove on Mt. Timpanogos, which is where we met.
In the trunk I had brought my guitar and a couple of champagne glasses and a bottle of sparkling cider. I played her a love song that I wrote especially for her, and then we toasted each other with the cider. Then we hiked a little way up a hillside trail to a place we had visited before, a little clearing filled with young ferns. I got out the ring and I proposed to her there.
It wasn't a surprise, but I tried hard to make it romantic and special. I think it worked pretty well. We both have fond memories of that evening, and really, it went perfectly.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
When Dan and I were dating, we decided long before he proposed that we would get married. And of course we talked about rings. We even looked at a couple of jewely stores together. We decided that we'd go with white gold instead of yellow. And I told him that I really, really liked oval cuts.
He took his best friend with him shopping. I knew he was going, because why on earth else would the two of them be going into Chicago and not inviting me?
When he did finally propose...well, I won't go into the whole story of what a jerk I was to him the whole afternoon before, 'cause that's not what this thread is about. It's about rings. The ring that he had chose for me is set in yellow gold, and the diamond is princess cut(square, for those of you who don't know these terms)!
I love it, of course, and he told me that when he saw it it just reminded him of me and he knew it was perfect - and it was already the right size. But, I'll admit, I was surprised. Not quite what I'd thought we'd agreed on! Posts: 3214 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
I already knew what cut she liked and what setting she preferred. I bought an unset diamond from a wholesale merchant. He came to my office and spread about a dozen diamonds on my desk in the cut and size I was interested in. He had me remove any that didn't appeal to me at all and then started comparing them all against each other - size, color, clarity, etc.
After I decided, I got the money together, but we had trouble meeting up again to make the transaction. I ended up meeting him in a Wendy's parking lot on my way to the airport where I was flying out to meet Kristine in DC. This is known as "cutting it close".
If you are proposing and know of a wholesaler, you can get a much better diamond for less money than you will ever, ever get in a chain jewelry store. The markup in those places is obscene.
On the guy proposing thing, I think a lot of it is society. It is hard to say how much. But in my own observations, females seem to be more responsive to being "wooed" than men are. Sure, men love to be wooed by a woman they are already interested in, but I think a woman is more likely to "come around" to a guy she has never thought of in a romantic light before. Worked for me anyway. More than once.
Guys in general seem like they don't like to be "chased" by girls. They seem to think it is tacky.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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why is it on the guys head to make the proposal? Why does the guy have to do all the hard stuff... asking the girl out... proposing... getting the ring... I mean, in olden days it made a certain amount of sense... cause first the girl had no choice in the issue, then if she said yes she ended up doing a ton of the hard stuff later. But now that we're working toward men and womens equality... why not equality in things like this?![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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