posted
All of the accountant's are working long hours, but I guess that's just because it's taxi-son.
Posts: 1547 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I hear that the cab drivers won't let you in if you have a bird with you. I guess the duck-shuns are quite common when the taxi's on duty. Sometimes the heiress that I courier pigeons for has to get involved.
posted
My dad was a prime meer fisherman. He caught stuff like red herring, red carp, et. al. He used strange bait too. Anything he could find really, grubs, holly, wood sometimes. Now he's dead and buried. His body's a host for worms. Papa rots, he does. That's why I'm a ward of the state. But he did leave a cat to me (which I'd like to think was his way of saying, "I love you.")
I remember he'd have to fling his line out really far to get to some fish, but then for instance it was only a flick of a wrist to crappie.
posted
I see the depressing, mean and nasty poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
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posted
You know, my father used to live in the city. He took me back to see the house he grew up in. It was falling down and rotting, all used up. I figured this was as close to a spent house view as I'm gonna get.
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posted
I went to a party where everyone was sharing walking sticks. When I asked why, the host said, "Oh, we are using co-canes.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
The judges have returned their ballots...er ballets (Thanks T_Smith), and here are the winners:
Biggest Leap T_Smith for:
quote:We all know this will end in a dark black tie if we do this by secret ballet.
Best sounding pun T_Smith for:
quote:Yeah, but what will he have to chauffeur it?
Phrase at the edges award punwit for:
quote:it could place a a what's the word...er...bane on his life.
best set up Elizabeth for:
quote:I had some bread tonight, but the bottom was soggy, so I had to eat the upper crust
best response to a pun punwit responding to the above with:
quote:Elizabeth, quit wining
paved with good intentions award Elizabeth for :
quote:How much does that broad weigh?
The Oscar for the Most Earnest pun goes to Beren One Hand for:
quote:She does have pretty broad shoulders. You might want to watch out for her Feminine Wildes.
Split my insides award punwit for:
quote: Can I invite a friend to join this pate?
Biggest Stretch Elizabeth for:
quote:Punwit, you are a bon wit. But don't worry, I won't tell 'er.
Best 'food for thought' Elizabeth for:
quote:Bob, that sounds a bit petty for you.
gone to the dogs award jehovoid for:
quote:May-or pets be allowed to participate? Or can we not pet-agree?
packed in like rats award Dan_Raven for:
quote:Or biblical discussion, like which prophet is older. I thought Sam-my, but Dav-is Junior
best suck up to the host jehovoid for:
quote:By the way, Bob, congrats on another capitol thread.
most obscure In fact, the judges asked if you wouldn't mind explaining it... To jehovoid for:
quote:So are a lot of people coming to this get-together?
Charlie's horse award MidnightBlue for:
quote:All of the sports teams had pictures taken on Tuestday; it was really one of those Cameron Dias.
best meter MidnightBlue for:
quote: All of the accountants are working long hours, but I guess that's just because it's taxi-son.
best adaptation, foreign language pun skillery for:
quote:shi ka go
best pun...long form jehovoid for:
quote:My dad was a prime meer fisherman. He caught stuff like red herring, red carp, et. al. He used strange bait too. Anything he could find really, grubs, holly, wood sometimes. Now he's dead and buried. His body's a host for worms. Papa rots, he does. That's why I'm a ward of the state. But he did leave a cat to me (which I'd like to think was his way of saying, "I love you.")
I remember he'd have to fling his line out really far to get to some fish, but then for instance it was only a flick of a wrist to crappie.
best constructed and fall down laughing award punwit for:
quote:You know, my father used to live in the city. He took me back to see the house he grew up in. It was falling down and rotting, all used up. I figured this was as close to a spent house view as I'm gonna get.
best flow skillery for:
quote:I'll help the kids feed the carp so that no-one wastes treats.
The Ooops I thought of a better way to do it award Bob_Scopatz for:
quote:I see the depressing, mean and nasty poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
Which really should've been:
quote:I see the overbearing surrealist poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
And now the final awards for the evening:
The I'm going to steal that one someday and claim I came up with it award punwit for:
quote:I think while I'm visiting the big city I should shout out an insult. We can call it my debut taunt.
biggest groaner -- our highest award... advice for robots for:
quote:Did you hear the one about the transvestite with the singing leg? He/she had an opera shin.
posted
Thanks Bob this is great fun! Elizabeth, for what it's worth my vote for biggest groaner was your "Patty did. She had to duck or she would not have been a liver."
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posted
I'm actually having a lot of fun coming up with appropriate names for the awards. I think I was maid for this, but le resistance est futile, and I'm ill dressed and must ask "how green is my valet?"
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
You know Bob I believe you are correct. You were tailor maid for this. I've been in stitches most of the time. Even on those occaisions when someone hemmed and hawed. Sew to wrap up this thread I say "Always suit yourself and needle those that cuffaww at our bad puns"
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
To shore up the loose ends, I just want to say I completely agree with Bob's choice for "The I'm going to steal that one someday and claim I came up with it award."
That line was brilliant Punwit. I've been waiting to compliment you for days, but couldn't really do it without unraveling the fabric of this thread.
posted
vwiggin, If you had unravelled the thread, we would have just gotten some more in the garment district.
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posted
At the risk of giving away one that could be used later, I could reach into my deck of insults and send one your way. If you aren't used to handling these please be careful with these deala taunts.
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posted
"So are a" is supposed to sound like "soiree" if you slur it a bit. Maybe I should consider using footnotes for the next round.
Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
Thanks vwiggin. I'm glad you enjoyed it. My wife mostly looks at me with disdain and shakes her head. It's nice to get a little love now and again.
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posted
There are a lot of real estate developers in NYC, but one in particular Trumps all the others.
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