posted
OK, I just need to straighten this out. They aren't battling in space! Haha...just because they're astronauts doesn't mean they're in space, and just because they're cavemen doesn't mean they're in caves.
And, well, I SUPPOSE the astronauts could still have helmets, only because the cavemen would have much stronger bones.
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Jeez, Javert. I was just about to thank you for reintroducing some reality into this thread, gently reminding people the fight wasn't actually in space or caves.
But who in heck said anything about helmets???
What's next? Shin guards?
I thought this was supposed to be about who wins, not whether the guys with helmets win?
**puts five dollars down on the troglodyte commencing to pound on the spaceman with advanced osteoporosis.**
**sndrake realizes osteoporosis is a serious medical condition and should not be taken lightly. But sndrake also realizes spacemen picking fights with cavemen are looking for trouble**
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
What's the prize? If it's something like flint and steel, the caveman might be very interested and the astronaut, not at all.
Conversely, if it were a free subscription to popular science, or geek today, or something like that, then the astronaut would probably be more excited, and the caveman not at all.
Either way, my money is on the one that looks more like a monkey. Do you have pictures of them???
Posts: 995 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
I'd say the caveman has a distinct advantage in this fight. They're battling on his turf, not the astronaut's. I say they go for one throw on the ground, and then put on suits and go for one throw in space.
The tiebreaker would be underwater.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
A caveman/person could techinically be in very poor health, where as Astronauts tend to be in better health generally.
In that case, I'm putting my money on the Astronaut. But if they are both in their best health, the caveman (the stronger and probably the better fighter) would win.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
I can't believe a thing like this has become this long. Especially since I know the origins unless it's been seen in more then one spot. Lets see what a doctor has to say about bone problems with space and all being hit with a big fist. Never mind no need.
posted
It also depends how the caveman and the astronaut met each other. Did the astronaut travel through a worm hole? If so, the caveman will win, because the astronaut may cease to exist if he harms the caveman and thus alter his own timeline. On the other hand, this may be a paradox, where the astronaut was destined to kill the caveman.
Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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So while space person considers the ramifications of doing anything to caveperson, caveperson clobbers them, thus resolving any worries about temporal paradoxes.
**Make that ten dollars on the cave dweller**
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
When I think about this thread (and I think about it more than I would care to admit), I always picture Calvin as Spaceman Spiff, battling it out with Moe the Caveman. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Dagonee, have you not considered that maybe the cosmic rays could change the cavemen too? Just think of it... CAPTAIN CAVEMAN!!!!!!Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Clearly you have to travel to space for cosmic rays to grant superpowers. All the great authorities say so - Lee, Kirby, etc. The magnetic field of the earth screens them out.
Now, there are other ways to get superpowers that might happen to a caveman: mutation, exposure to gamma radiation, radioactive animal bites, finding an ancient divine weapon, being appointed the guardian of justice in your quadrant of the galaxy, being the chosen champion of good empowered by stolen demonic essence, being selected to be the herald of a gigantic planet-eating being, selling your soul to a demonic presence, dedicating your life to the study of mystical forces, building a sophisticated suit of armor and sledgehammer-weapon, finding the lost sword Excalibur, getting turned into a vampire and getting your soul restored by gypsies, being the subject of super-soldier experiments, receiving cybernetic implants, moving to a planet with less gravity and a brighter sun, experimenting on youself with a shrinking/growing ray, and, last but not least, coming back on the anniversary of your death to avenge a loved one.
But I thought we wanted to stay realistic - few of these seem likely to happen to a caveman.
Dagonee PS, Captain Caveman would undoubtedly win if weapons were allowed, but without his club he's a wimp. Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I don't know who's gonna win the fight between the caveman and the astronaut, but can I sell tickets?
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Yeah, Derrel, sure...but seeing as I'm the promoter, I have to be given the best seats, ok?
Now, can anyone think of any other fights that would be interesting? I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, that the cavemen seem to be victorious in this bout.
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Just a tip on selling. Your sales pitch would be more effective if you stressed the fact that the hot dogs are half UNeaten. Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I don't know, Seals are a lot more vicious than people think. Did you know they have claws on their flippers? The ones the Navy keeps in San Diego are pretty brutal sometimes.
Oh, you mean the other kind of Navy Seal...
Demi Moore could kick Russel Crow's a...er...bottom, so I vote Seals all the way.
posted
Let's keep it simple. Just a simple unarmed dolphin against an unarmed Navy Seal. I see it as a grudge match for the dolphin - harboring deep-seated rage against human exploitation of his brothers and sisters for entertainment porpoises.
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
i don't like hot dogs. how about chicken wings? what about beverages? oh yeah, ummmmm navy seal just to stick to my boys. don't try the marines, jarheads could never handle a gladiator. Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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