posted
Tom-- yes, sorta kinda. There's a point in the story previous to this where Brujo does a little magic of his own.
I'm banking on the intended audience's familiarity with myth and folklore. For example, you picked up very well on the idea that Brujo was her homunculus. I hope that most readers (well, actually just the editor of whatever magazine I submit this to) will be able to do the same.
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On a scale from 1-10; 1 being a slight blip, 10 being, I dunno, Barney ; this would be about a 6, I think.
My comfort zone is more like a 4 or lower, but I find your writing fascinating enough to be willing to go past my comfort zone. Yet still quite disturbed . . .
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Scott, this is the first of your stuff that I have read and I am totally blown away. Is any of your other writing available? I want to read more. I especially want to read this story when it is finished.
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Scott, I have been SO impressed with all the writing I've seen from you, including what you're doing with Mission. Anytime you need fangirl squealing,or to just test something out, send it to me, and I will do so with much enthusiasm.
posted
The thing that bugged me about it, is why leave her underwear on? I guess if they are putting blood in it, sterility doesn't matter too much, so showering beforehand isn't a requirement, but that was my first thought before the blood got involved.
I wrote five pages more yesterday morning at work, saved them, sent them to my yahoo account-- and realized I'd sent an older version of the story.
I come into work this morning to find that the file is gone, gone gone. . . Not in my TEMP folder, not saved as ~ anything. . . just flat out gone.
I regularly send the stuff I work on to my email-- and I SWEAR I saved it multiple times. Of course, now that I think about it, I don't remember specifying WHERE to save it, but normally email attachments default to being saved in the Local Settings/TEMP folder. It just isn't there. According to MS, the only files I even looked at yesterday were a couple of banners on websites.
Auggh!
Maybe this is a sign. . .
[ February 27, 2004, 06:26 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
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posted
Scott, it happens to everybody. I learned the hard way to save my work on disk, hard drive, AND to send it to someone in e-mail.
And your writing is beautiful. I feel I know your writing style well from our days in the 1830's forum. You wrote wonderfully then, but I hope you will be pleased when I say that your writing is getting richer and more powerful now.
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I'm not particularly cold-hearted, but I'd love to read what you've written (you can email it to the addy in my profile). Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Dkw, that was an exact quote of my first response to Scott (minus your email address, that is)!
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My references: Pre-reading Crystal City, and catching a plot flaw that neither Moose nor Hobbes even noticed. (And yes I will gloat about that til the day I die <grin>)
posted
It's been sent out to everyone who's requested it so far. . .
A word of warning to future Wise Readers ( - not a pathetic grab for attention )-- the file is 170k+. If you keep your hotmail account full, let me know, and I'll zip it up before sending it out.
[ March 05, 2004, 11:57 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
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posted
Scott, please please pretty please can I see it? I'm slow at sending back critiques, but if you nag me once a week, you'll get one back within a month. If you nag me daily, you'll probably get it within a week.
Email in the profile.
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posted
Sent you my comments by e-mail. Your visual imagery is wonderful. I'm just left at the end wondering what it all meant. But I'm a logical engineer and want things tied up in tidy packages too.
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Just let me know which magazine buys it so I can go buy a copy. And then bug all my friends to buy their own copies.
I love your writing, Scott. I've gone back to reread the bit you posted several times because I found it stuck in my head. Images kept tickling my brain as I tried to sleep. If the editor doesn't buy it the first time, give him a week or two to think about it, then send it to him again. This story lingers.
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How did I miss this, I'll never know. Scott, would you please send me a copy. My e-mail address is in my profile. Can't wait.
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Hey Scott! Is it too late to see a copy? I'd love to read it as well. (Love what I've read so far.)
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If you don't hate me after what I said the first time could you send me the second round? I'm interested in seeing how it has evolved. BannaOj@yahoo.com
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Scott, things have been pretty hectic at work for the last week and a half or so, so I haven't had time to sit down and read the story yet. Sorry about that. I'm very much looking forward to it, though, and will hopefully come up with a lot of useful feedback for you.
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Scott I would love to read it and take my best shot at being helpful. I also work with a wonderful writing teacher who absolutely loves Fantasy who I'm sure would like to read it as well. Her and I are constantly loaning each other books and discussing them.
Is that your email address? jinglis is my brothers nickname (pronounced jingles, as our last name is inglis and rhymes with jingles). It's weird to see something like that here. Is it based on your name?
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posted
Oh yeah, I should say something relating to the thread. I just finished reading the story and must say that I really enjoyed it. It seems like the kind of thing that I could get something more from it each time I read it. I noticed one editorial/proofreading thing that I thought I would point out:
These quotes come from when they stop at the convenience store.
"Tom rang up the two sandwiches and the soda."
and a paragraph or two later it says:
"Tom rang up their sandwiches and soda, and put a candy bar on top of it all."
This read kind of awkwardly to me.
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posted
*raises hand* I'd love to read the story and offer whatever comments I can, if it's not too late, Scott. I'm at everpoe@hotmail.com
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posted
It took F&SF less than two days to stamp a rejection notice on Blackberry Witch.
Check it out: I sent it via regular mail on the 26th; the letter of non-interest was sent to me on the 29th. So it gets there on the 27th, he reads it on the 28th, and sends it back on the 29th.
:shakes head:
What exactly does it mean when the Editorial Assistant says, 'This tale didn't grab my interest?'
Oh, quit with your translations. I know what it means-- John Joseph Adams only looks at the first couple paragraphs, and then if it hasn't made him have an epileptic fit, he tosses it.
Grr. Look, I understand the harsh realities of magazine publishing-- the stacks and hordes and mountains of submissions, the long hours, the thankless task of reviewing drivel. . .
But how the heck does one get something PUBLISHED??
Errgh! RAAAH! ErrRAAH!
Advice welcome-- be warned, if you say, 'Keep trying!' and don't say anything else, I may have to eviscerate you and make chitlins out of your guts. While you yet breathe.
Mmm. Chitlins.
When does phobos start again?
[ May 03, 2004, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
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From the bits I've read here, it's an amazing story and truly deserves to be published (and one I'd still like to read all of!).
I wish I could offer you more advice beyond to keep trying. It really is an amazing work that grabs and engages the reader almost instantly and, from the others' responses, I would assume that it maintains that level of interest throughout the work. Please keep trying on this one, and please continue writing other pieces as well. That's the first piece I've read in years that just grabbed me at the offset and then totally blown me away even in the beginning.
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Scott, I have absolutely no idea -- you don't see me sending my precious story-children off to be rejected, do you? I can't imagine how rough that must be. I so respect you, and others, who take that leap of faith, again and again.
Somewhere out there IS the editor who will publish your story. May you find him/her soon!
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posted
...You know, I know someone who's been thinking about starting a literary magazine for some time now and is mostly just looking for contributions at the moment. I don't really know for sure, but I could look into it for you and see if they really are or will be ready to go into production soon? If they are, would this be something you'd be interested in?
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; this would be about a 6, I think.![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
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-- you don't see me sending my precious story-children off to be rejected, do you? I can't imagine how rough that must be. 
