posted
Oh, yes. I remember being single. In an anterior life, probably. Some things were cool, and some other not. Tonight my compannion is sick, so I take care of him. I wouldn't have to do that if I was still single, but on the other hand I wouldn't have anyone to take care of me when I'm sick, so... Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Come on T, are you going on dates or not? We married folk have to live vicariously through you.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Eruve Nandiriel, I'm getting married, and I find Valentine day ridiculous. I mean, that's not because I'm romantically involved that I don't care for single persons or remember how it is to be one. All this obliged romantic things, and you feeling stupid because no one offer you roses... Yuck ! And so commercial now...
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I may be a little naïve, but I think everyone has his best part somewhere in that world. Just a question of time before you meet the good one.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
hey suneun, i know this really nice guy in utah. he's funny and smart and adorable in a goofy way. want me to set you up?
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I only read the 1st post, and nothing in between, so I don't know what all has been said, but here's my two cents:
I am married. My wife moved out almost 2 weeks ago now and took the kids with her. I'm effectively single again. And it SUCKS!
Posts: 1323 | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Anna, I seriously think Valentine's Day was invented to rub in everyone else's face. And all that mushy junk...bleh. It's annoying to see everyone getting all mushy at each other.
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't need to be single to lower my phone bills. My roommate is on the phone so much every day that I have no chance to use it even if I wanted to.
Enjoy the single life, T. It's not all bad! And we all know you're still cool.
Posts: 1592 | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
hey celia, thanks for the offer . I think I'd rather stick to Rhode Islanders or maybe the occasional Massachusettser for now. Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
O to be single... The parties (hmm...I still go there)... The Late-night RPG games (wait...I still play)... Going to the movies twice a week (well, now I go AND kiss a lot, when the movie is boring)... Going to the beach and watch beautiful girls(ok...if I do that now, I'm dead)... The lonely nights... The lonely weekends... Sensing I was missing something in life...
Nah, It's better now ;-) Hey, but that's just for me! Many people would rather be single.
Posts: 1785 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
(sigh) This sucks. This thread was supposed to make me feel better about being a lonely loser, but now it's just making it worse with all you non-single lame-os crapping it all up...
;_; Can't you just leave me alone...???
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:...Being married is no better or worse than being single.
-Suntranafs
Actually, as a math major, you probably consider a different set of numbers (average lifespan). Married men tend to live longer. Married women tend to live shorter or longer depending on whether their marriages are happy.
quote:...Mount Hope, Kansas (look that one up on your randmcnally.com)
Don't have to. When I'm visiting the 'rents, I drive by it on the way to Wichita (and the airport) to get the heck out of Kansas.
Posts: 1423 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
i am as single as single can be, but i actually like valentine's day. besides all the candy, it's the perfect excuse to sit at home alone watching non-romantic movies with a full bag of chocolate creme oreos and a pint of ben & jerry's.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Someone once gave me a book of Roz Chast cartoons about the joys of being single. My favorite was you never have to make up a story to explain some dent in the car. This was illustrated with a picture of a small flying saucer hitting the fender of a lady's car making "zzzzt zzzzt" sounds.
Well, hmmm, I guess there are some good things about it.
1.) It feels good to own yourself. You get to make all your life decisions (large and small) based completely on your own feelings of what seems good and right. I think the hardest thing about being part of a couple would be giving the right amount of weight to the other person's will. Equal partnerships seem so hard to achieve.
2.) It is much easier not to accidentally wound someone deeply from mere thoughtlessness or fatigue.
3.) If you screw up, it's only yourself you hurt or disappoint.
4.) You can choose to do work that may possibly be life-threatening, if you want, without worrying about leaving your family with nobody to care for them.
5.) There is unlimited peacefulness and quiet at your house. My sister gets to spend maybe 2 hours a month alone, if she carefully plans it. She considers such time precious. I can be alone as much as I want, or have cats for company, or friends and family, whichever feels best. I don't really appreciate it, though. To me hanging out at her house with the girls and all the activity is what's fun.
Since I'm living in this house again (where I grew up) it really does seem strange for it to be so quiet around here. This house is supposed to have music playing every waking hour, either on the stereo or someone playing piano or guitar or trombone or recorder or harmonica or singing or SOMETHING! There should be the sounds of my brother slapping down the stairs as he used to do in what was more a controlled fall than a descent. There should be someone busying around and generating delicious food smells in the kitchen. Someone building something in the workshop. The sounds of hammering or sawing or grinding something smooth. There should be laughter and voices. Something is definitely not right around here.
Maybe I'll adopt half a dozen war orphans from Iraq or something to bring home with me. Maybe I'll turn this place into the Last Hatrack Homely House when I get back, and drag you people here from all over the world. Yeah.
[ October 30, 2003, 09:02 AM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
i know this is going to get me in trouble, but i can't help reading your list as:
1) i'm lazy 2) i'm thoughtless 3) i never do anything right 4) if you do life threatening work, this one actually makes sense. 5) not being single implies having children and therefor no free time.
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
Yes it was parsons Kansas, but no, it was KU band camp. (Under so many good directors I can't even begin to rescribe...Simon from King's Singers, Col. Gabriel from US Air Force band...the US Marine band conductor...so many huge names...it was so badass...)
I played trombone and sang....
I don't remember her name...it was...6 years ago? 7? Honestly, the most I remember about her is she had a big nose but a great body. I was young...personalities weren't so important then...
Posts: 54 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, since Farmgirl did it...I'm going to too...
Are there any single, happy, athletic s in the Mobile area? Preferably ones who eschew (right word in context? not sure) makeup, think fencers are hot, and like to take long drives for no other reaons than to listen to music and watch the countryside roll by? Oh yeah...still youngish (but also legal..)
heh..just thought I'd ask.
Posts: 54 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wow, Celia! You wound me! How could you read my post like that? I hate being single like everyone else! I was only trying to think of things that might be considered good about it. The true interpretation of my list goes more like this:
1. I have a hard time sharing control. I can either be in complete control or give up all control but hanging in the middle is not something I've practiced. 2. I am very worried about possibly hurting others. 3. I require perfection from myself, and the additional pressure of worrying about disappointing someone else might be hard for me. 4. I've chosen to do work that might be life threatening. 5. It's too quiet in my house. I prefer children, though some people might enjoy the quiet.
[ October 30, 2003, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Okay I have to follow that up because I doubt anybody will realize that I was making a pun out of someone ELSE's post, which is something I've never done. So that's to clarify.
On being single vs. being paired:
As someone who has been single his entire life, and has never been anybody's Valentine, it is my opinion that singlehood sucks. Which is not to say that it can't be loads of fun at times... but human life is so much more meaningful than "fun", and a lot of that meaning is only explorable in a relationship context.
And frankly, some of us could really use someone to nag them and ask where they are all the time.
My personal situation is such that I am both single and coupled at the same time, and am thus better able to contrast and compare than most. Let me explain.
I have a girlfriend a thousand miles away, whom I love, cherish, blah blah blah. The long distance thing kinda sucks, but we've been able to stay rather close (thank heavens for hotmail and MSN), all without a single cent on the phone bill. Thus, all my emotional needs are met, and since I wasn't getting any physical fulfillment anyway, I'm not missing very much. Long story short: I enjoy all the benefits of a relationship without having to deal with all the crap. Life is great...but wait, there's more!
I am also a student at BYU, which means I'm surrounded by legions of beautiful, available women, who are too polite to say no to a date. Without a girlfriend standing over my shoulder, I'm free to do pretty much whatever I want without incurring her wrath. BYU being the environment it is, this means I can date without any of the hassles of committment. Again, all the benefits of being single without any reprocussions. Someone up there sure does love me...
Wait, what were we talking about again? Single vs. Coupling? Screw that! I prefer my own little fantasy world, where I pretend that the world is my oyster. Wait a tick, I just destroyed my self reinforced delusion. Oh well, only one thing left to do...
posted
Guess what I have planned tonight, my single friends? Roaming around Salt Lake City, going where I want to, no suggestions to go shopping for lingerie (though, that won't stop me from going there ) eating like a pig, and going to the movie of my choice. Weee... single life is great...
Man, I wish I had someone to kiss at that movie...
posted
Nate, if you'll move to Bozeman I'll hook you up. I have so many girlfriends to pawn off and so few strapping young lads to pawn them off on.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
It took me years to get over this. It's a horrible custom - if I had refused to go out on dates with guys that I didn't want to go with, I think my dating experiences as a whole would have been a lot more positive. No wonder dating was torture! I was forcing myself to be charming to guys I had no interest in! Dating didn't seem like looking for a partner at all - more like a necessary evil. There's no goodness in too polite to say no to a date. Anyone can suffer through one dance, but dating's too important to do with your fingers crossed.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
The girls at BYU cann't say no to a date? Is this a rule or something? No one ever told me that in High School when I was looking at colleges. What if you are Catholic? Can they say no then?
Can they say no if you are a 40 year old married Catholic?
posted
Every one of them. You see, the Catholic part (not to mention the 40 years old and married part) don't make it pass the vetting process. It isn't that's impolite to say no to anyone; it's that it's impolite to say no to active, young RMs in college.
I'm serious about this being a problem, though. Heck, my step-mother married someone because, despite getting serious, serious doubts during the engagement, she was too polite and too much of the Good Girl to call it off. So, she acted like a perfect lady and was just miserable for the next 25 years. That's a major problem.
posted
So why is it that young Mormon ladies are illequipped to make good dating decisions?
Do they lack sense of self? Or do they lack sense of other?
I guess what I mean is: what conditions are in place within female Mormon culture that give rise to their lack of <independence?>? Or whatever you want to call the stigma that amounts to Mormon ladies feeling compelled to say yes to a mormon suiter based solely on his Mormonhood. Mormonness?
-just curious--not intending at all to derail this thread into a discussion about Mormonism, and certainly not intending to attack Mormonism in any way-
Posts: 1307 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
I definitely wouldn't judge the entire population by me. In fact, I wouldn't the population of anything by any Hatracker - I don't think any of us are typically representative of the culture from which we spring. So... I can't answer for all Mormom young women because I don't know their reasons..
For me? *thinks* I think it might have been partly from my older brother. He's one year older, and had a hard time dating. When I first started dating, it was among his friends, so I figured saying no would have a lot of repercussions. 1. guy humiliated in front of brother, 2. brother humiliated because his friends aren't good enough for me (they weren't, though), and 3. I'd still have to see them and it would be awkward. Besides, his best friend was the older brother of my best friend, and I asked him to a girls choice dance because I had to go and didn't have anyone I wanted to ask. He went, but it was horrible. The only reason it wasn't a terrible date is because I was so little invested, and it was a group date so I just talked to my friends. This guy was surly, rude, and ran off with another girl halfway through. (They ended up dating for two years, and I sadly took some delight in the merry hell she put him through.)
Compared to all that, it seemed easier just to go and be polite. Besides, I hadn't dated yet, and I'm pretty open to just about all new experiences as long as they aren't illegal or immoral.
In college, it came from roommates. I remember the worst date of my entire life was a second date that I'd had no desire to go on, but roommates talked me into it. It was a disaster, and it didn't have to be. I just didn't want to be there, and I was 19 and still kind of bratty. I did, finally, request to be taken home at about 10:00 pm, when he offered to let me come and listen to him practice the cello.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
. I think I'd rather stick to Rhode Islanders or maybe the occasional Massachusettser for now. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
