posted
It's a common male fantasy to be stranded on a desert island with a beautiful woman, but I bet something that men rarely realize is that there is no way for a woman to shave on a desert island. After awhile, things might get hairy.
This is why, whenever I'm traveling over water, I always carry a razor with me. Be prepared.
Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
If the pen is mightier than the sword, then is the pencil mightier than the dagger? I mean, I know there's the lead poisoning to deal with and all, but come on. And what is the word processor stronger than? A sub-machine gun?
Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001
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quote: "Oh, the red strokes, Passions uncaged Thundering moments of tenderness rage, Oh, the red strokes, Tempered and strong, Burning the night like the dawn"
posted
Fresco Cheese is so frickin good! I think I have a crush on it...but I probably should have kept that to myself.
Posts: 331 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
euphemistically may quite possibly be the greatest word in the english language, oh sure, you guys think that "consequently", and "feasibly" are better, but, as always, you are wrong.
Posts: 331 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I just realized why people post so much, it's cause it thanks us every time we do it! These people think everyone is thankful they are posting! I say we make an appeal to the administrators to change the message to "It's your fault this world sucks".
Posts: 331 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I just checked my "recent searches" on my Google toolbar, and I found
quote:774-4274 eric
I have no memory of searching for this. I could write up some lyrics for it and send it to Tommy Tutone, I suppose.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I'm walking along a desserted beach, ice cream and chocolate sprinkles everywhere, when along comes a mermaid. "hey Hills, s'up?" She says to me. "Ummm, who's 'Hills'?" I responded "They be my hills I reckon" At this point I was quite confused, as I had never known a mermaid to use the term "reckon", yet this one did. At this point, I ended my post.
[ January 23, 2004, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: Liquor and Fireworks ]
Posts: 331 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
A superhero with the ability to see through walls probably misses out some pretty good walls. I mean, for my money there's almost nothing better than sitting back and staring at a well-proportioned, blank wall.
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I like to lounge around the house in my long underwear, and have recently taken up the practice of wearing them to work under my pants. They make me feel more secure, sort of like wearing pajamas under my clothes.
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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If they took a random cross section of 10,000 people in the US and asked them if they had ever slept with you, the odds are they wouldn't get one of your sexual partners, not to mention many. (unless you are a rock star, star athlete, or Bill Clinton)
As a result, when they tallied up the totals wouldn't your preference for the opposite sex fall well within the margin of error?
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When the plan to rob the bank located in the Swiss Alps failed, the theives blamed it on the escape goat.
Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
Not to make light of one of the worst tragedies in the history of humanity (don't you love it when jokes start out with this phrase?), but when Hiroshima or Nagasaki were bombed, at that instant when the fireball was expanding through the city and incinerating pretty much everything, do you think by chance there was some person who happened to be in the middle of a fart at that time, and did that gas in fact make another mini-explosion inside of the atomic explosion, and maybe in that instant the person who made the fart realized that a)he was farting, b)he was being incinerated, and c)his fart had caught fire.
Would this not be one of the most perplexing states of mind in the history of human thought?
posted
A thousand inebriated elephants are standing on my big toe. I therefore am in need of one hell of a hangover remedy.
Posts: 681 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
You know what's great? Stale marshmallow peeps for Easter! You get the peeps, cut open the plastic, and let them sit for a few days... Mmmm mmmm good!
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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