Hatrack River Forum: LOTR Wenches' Tavern

my profile login | search | faq | forum home

»	Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » LOTR Wenches' Tavern (Page 11)

This topic comprises 15 pages: 1 2 3 ... 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Author

Topic: LOTR Wenches' Tavern

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*rubs forehead and staggers to feet inside the dark closet*

"I just had the strangest..."

*doubles over gagging and coughing up a hairball*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::opens closet wide to find Fallow::

Fallow, what in Middle-Earth are you doing in my closet?

Posts: 873 | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*sets saucer filled with goat's milk down on the porch step*

"Here, kitty kitty"

[ June 03, 2004, 11:13 PM: Message edited by: Shan ]

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*gives up all hope of being rescued before dying of thirst*

*releases the kite twine*

*spirals downward, out of control*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*Screams and ducks in the tavern as an unknown shape hurtles past to thud on the ground*

"Mayday! Come quick! A dragon just fell out of the sky!"

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

Ms. May,

Some joker told me there was an entrance to a wizard's dungeon in your closet. But, there was no secret entrance. It was dark and smelled of moth balls.

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*stops in mid-spring butterfly pursuit*

*looks skyward at falling, flailing figure*

rrreow?!?

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*smells kitty whizzle*

*feels warm wetness on his arm*

*blacks out*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*licks paw*

"stares at wet wrist*

*grooms self*

"stares angrily at limb's odd behavior"

*squats*

Ms. May? *gulps*, Shan? Would you be so kind as to direct me to the facilities?

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

"Stay out of the rosebushes, pussykins, and all will be well."

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*feels an alarming sense of thoracic vibration*

*wheels around in confusion*

*curls up by the hearth*

*purrs*

"PURRS?!"

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::rushes outside, waving a sword::

Dragon?! Where-- Skillery!

::rushes over untangle him from the kite::

Skill?

::slaps cheek lightly::

Posts: 873 | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*dreams of lasagna and a drooling idiot of a canine*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*opens one eye, tries to raise head*

"Yowww, my back!"

*head drops back in the dirt*

"Water...thirsty"

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

"What do you think, Mayday? Will Skillery survive?"

*Rushes off to pull a bucket of water from the well*

*Lumbers hurridly back with slopping overfull bucket of water*

*Drenches the thirsty and mostly unconscious skillery in water in a hopeful attempt to revive life signs*

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*lifts head out of the mud*

"Thanks...kite works...who wants to be next?"

*drops head back in the mud, muttering something about green smoke and a mysterious clearing in the forest*

*sleeps*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Poor Skillery... Yeah, he'll be fine, just some sleep.

::carries Skillery up to a room with Shan's help::

Mysterious clearing and green smoke? What do you think, Shan?

Posts: 873 | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*licks self with sandpaper tongue*

*watches wenches carry limp body upstairs*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

mmm...goose down...

What's with the cracker crumbs though?

*snores loudly*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

It sounds intriguing Mayday - shall we explore?

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*stiffly rolls out of bed*

*finds slippers, a bathrobe and a towel at the foot of the bed*

*limps to the window and looks down on the wreckage of the spider kite*

at least the sail isn't torn

*hobbles down the hall to the bathroom and slides into the warm, strawberry-scented tub*

ahhhhhh

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*awakens to sniff a strange odor on the wind*

*gags*

*coughs up hairball*

*stands up on two feet*

*shivers head to toe shedding kitty fur*

*heads for the garden*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*enjoys a relaxing and reviving soak in the tub…*

*…but feels a nagging sense of guilt over having kept Shan’s anti-spider talisman for so long…*

*…wants to return the talisman and make peace with the owner*

*reluctantly climbs out of the tub*

*dries off and hobbles back to the room*

*finds the bed made and his clothes laid out*

*slips into his Mayday-made silk shirt*

*notices several cut threads in the shirt just over the area where his ribs are bruised and sore*

*wonders if perhaps the spider silk shirt saved his life*

*hobbles downstairs to find Shan and Mayday*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*streches on the porch*

*follows a silken line to the...*

"gasps"

"wreckage of a beautifully conceived vehicle"

*rubbernecks parts, pieces, lines and intents*

*closes eyes and reassembles cognitive blueprint*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*shakes head as he examines the wreck with Fallow*

"I'm sorry Fallow. I know that I promised you the first ride, but I panicked when that cat came after me."

"I'm sure we can rebuild it."

"I could have used that silver helmet of yours, neh?"

"By the way, have you seen that cat?"

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*rubs skillery's leg*

[Dont Know]

*surveys wreckage*

*gags*

"'scuze me!"

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*wonders if Fallow is having an identity crisis*

A nice shave with an elvish blade would do that fellow some good.

*wonders what became of Derrell's knife*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

*stops pruning silver branches with the elvish-knife*

Did you want this? If it's good for shaving trees it's good for shaving people.

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

"Telp, I was thinking you ought to do the shaving. You did such a good job on me."

"Here, I'll hold him...squirrelly rascal, isn’t he."

"He'll thank us later..."

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

*cackle*

Oops.. hehe...
*rustle*

*holds fallow down and proceeds to full-body-shave*

Quit quirming!

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*constructs a memorial to Fallow the Cat out of bits of fur, cracker crumbs, and spider silk*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

"Oh no! He really was a cat!"

"Now what are we gonna do?"

*smears sunscreen on the hairless Fallow*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*Surveys the interior of the Wenches Tavern*

*Wonders what happened to the Wenches*

*Grasps a broom and begins to slowly sweep the floor, pondering where her next journey might take her*

*Hopes the spider problem is under control when she returns*

*Sweeps the dust out the door, places her straw hat on her head, and heads down the road whistling Bilbo's walking song*

"The road goes ever on and on
down from the door where it began . . . "

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*runs to catch up with Shan*

"Wait! You may need this!"

*hands the angel-figurine/anti-spider-talisman to Shan*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*returns from happy place*

*admires new suntan and chuckles*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*scratches fallow between the ears*

"Nice kitty"

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*regards the angel figurine quizzically*

*can not for the life of her remember when, where or why skillery determined it belonged to her*

*shrugs and tucks the figurine away in a pocket and continues whistling while walking*

*looks forward to beautful countrysides, mild adventures and new folks*

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*pensively purruses the Tavern's lot and grins Chesire-like*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*heads into tavern*

*finds old-school fashioned telephone*

*deliberately places a few strikingly rotary phone calls*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*dons silver helmet*

*exits tavern*

*surveys lot*

*toggles helmet's zoom lens*

*trains visor's eyeline down wench hill at the train of cement-mixers meandering their way up the hill*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*gently marks outlines of tavern driveway with 1X2's and tidy little red flags*

*straightens and checks progress of cement mixers*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*plays boggle with baby spiders*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*retreats into the tavern to dial the local porche dealership*

[ June 12, 2004, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: fallow ]

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*wonders if Fallow is going through a midlife crisis too*

*notes that Fallow will have a grand total of 50 ft of paved surface on which to drive the vehicle of his dreams*

*hopes Fallow is dreaming of an OHV with mud tires*

*peruses the contents of the Wenches' Tavern Memorial Library, looking for a road atlas*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

Hmmm...road trip...this is gonna be fun.

"Hey Fallow, let's get a Porsche for stylin' in the driveway, and one of them Hummer things for the road."

"Dude, check out these shades."

"Do I still look like an old fart?"

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*ignores skillery for a moment*

*plucks out trusty trowel with a quick-spin flair and commences to directin' the pourin' 'o' the Tavern's gentrificated driveway*

edit: crossing T's and trowelling smooth as silk

[ June 13, 2004, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: fallow ]

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*sneakily leaves a handprint in Fallow's silky smooth concrete*

*wonders whether to inscribe the date*

*observes that it is usually the cat that leaves prints in the fresh concrete*

This Fallow is one gentrificated cat...righteous and outa-sighteous!

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*surrepticiously drops trowel and trou' to make bum-print in wenches' new driveway*

*watches concrete harden*

*idly wonders if he should have notified mysterious wenches of landscaping alterations*

edit: (to find fasteners on silky trousers)

[ June 14, 2004, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: fallow ]

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*wonders how long it will take for the lime to start burning Fallow's nethermost regions*

*hands the cat a jar of soothing ointment*

Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*takes jar*

"mmmm... might come in handy"

*gives Skillery a thumbs-up (*whispers* "this is gonna be a bit silly") and scampers down the hill*

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004 | IP: Logged |

This topic comprises 15 pages: 1 2 3 ... 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2