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Olivia, one of the Hatrack regulars, was with her mother when her mother did yesterday morning just before 11 am. The funeral will be held this Friday in her hometown in Tennessee.
Olivia is with her siblings, her husband, and her two young sons, so there is a lot of love going around where she is. I'm sure she would still appreciate messages of support and goodwill, although it may be awhile before she replies or logs in here.
Her email is oliviaf@bellsouth.net, and the thread she started when her mother went into the ICU is Pray for me.
[ August 25, 2004, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
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(PS: This is CT under me own name, but that's for another thread. Keep Olivia in your thoughts, guys -- it will be tough time for her and a real time of change. She might need space or a dogpile of good friends, Telperion-style. I'm sure she will let us know.
Should anyone want to send flowers or a note -- which is certainly not expected, although the question often arises in a setting like this -- the funeral home is under the name "Tetrick" in Elizabethton, Tennessee.
Switchboard Yellow Pages has a few listings for "Tetrick Funeral Home." I imagine they are all affiliated, though it might be worth a call before sending anything. Olivia's mother's name was Anne Peters.
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Sara -- some funeral homes have on-line sites where you can post a note to the family via e-mail, for those too far away to attend, etc. Do you know if this funeral home has that?
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While I'm saddened on behalf of Olivia and her family, I'll admit I chuckled a little bit at the post -- perhaps giddiness from CT's presence. The first sentence sounds like it could have been Olivia who died, rather than her mother. Following that with
quote:Olivia is with her siblings, her husband, and her two young sons, so there is a lot of love going around where she is. I'm sure she would still appreciate messages of support and goodwill, although it may be awhile before she replies or logs in here
made it a little funnier. Sorry -- been in a weird mood lately, so I find funny in the strangest places. Hope this doesn't offend.
Thanks. I don't see her mom's name listed yet on the obits, but maybe they just haven't posted it. I suppose I could go ahead and send a note before they do....
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I know, Jamie, it's hard. Trying to figure out what to say just underscores how ineffective language can be at capturing emotions and meaning.
The little gifts of presence matter (attending the funeral, dropping off food), as do the cards that just say "I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking about you. Let me know if I can do anything," or something like that. Even when what you can do feels inadequate, remember that dealing with the death of a loved one is something we all go through, and we often do it many times in our individual lives. It's a part of the human experience. So most people understand that you wish you could do or say something profound-er, or somehow make it right, and so they understand what is behind the simple inadequate words, too.
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Sara, do you have Olivia's mailing address? I have it but it's locked up in my dead computer.
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Her home address? Not handy with me. I'm working out a way to attend the funeral, though, and when I check with her, I'll ask.
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Prayers being said. I never got to meet Olivia's mother, but my heart is very sad right now imagining the pain my dear friend is going through.
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Let me know if you don't get it - I'm going to be gone for a while on some errands, if anyone else needs the address either email me or mack or dkw or Vana - I'll check back in later.
I called her, she sounded okay, considering, they are at the funeral home working out the details of the arrangements.
[ August 25, 2004, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Belle ]
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quote:I never know what to say or do when a friend has a death in the family.
Amen!
I am a total social idiot under the best of circumstances and there is nothing like a death or a serious illness to bring that message home. I have no idea what to do or say.
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Olivia says that she doesn't have internet access so she can't respond to e-mails, but she can read them on her phone, and she's very grateful. The service is Friday night and the graveside service is Saturday morning. She's very grateful for the love shown by everyone. Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Olivia, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Keep Olivia in your thoughts, guys -- it will be tough time for her and a real time of change. She might need space or a dogpile of good friends, Telperion-style. I'm sure she will let us know.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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