Hi, my name is Jerome, and I am meant to be King. See, I know I'm meant to be king 'cause I don't look anything like my parents (at least what I remember about them; they "died" when I was 5), and I am being raised by an uncle (so he claims). We seldom get along, because he is constantly telling me, "get that pigsty cleaned out" but I ignore him as long as I can, practicing my most regal look. Which royal is still up in the air, but I am fairly well convinced that I was actually a foundling, and probably the illegitimate son of the late King of Herrath.
I get a lot of grief from the boys in my village, and none of the girls notice me yet, though I am finally a head taller than most of them. Maybe it's the pimples, or the fact that I get teased for being clumsy. I think this is one of the great injustices of my life. If I was in my rightful role, I would have royal food, and be doing kingly work that I was suited for, not mucking out pigstys, which one would expect a king to be bad at.
There is a chance coming though. I have heard that the Baron has commissioned a Royal Quest (TM) to find the missing princess. I have plans to make my way to this group, claim my true identity, and lead them to rescue the princess. My fate awaits!
Posted by micmcd (Member # 7977) on :
Hi Jerome,
Out of curiosity, have you told your "uncle" of your plans? What does he think about your true lineage?
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
Well, I have hinted that he needs to show a little more respect, since I will someday be a nobleman. He just asks me to get my noble butt into the barn and feed the cows.
When the world recognizes me, I won't be bitter though. I'll let him muck out the royal barns. All by himself.
Posted by micmcd (Member # 7977) on :
How are you going to convince the Royal Quest of your ancestry? What if they are as skeptical as your uncle?
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
Well, my Uncle is only focussed on one thing -- his stupid farm. I expect The Quest to be a little more, shall we say, discerning. I don't know what it will be yet. It could be a birthmark -- I have a mole on my left foot big toe that's probably royal, or maybe my superior swordfighting skill -- well I've never really used a sword, but I'm sure it's in my blood. Anyway, something will come up, something always comes up in the novels my buddy Burt lends me. It is my destiny.
Oh, sorry, I've got to go. Uncle is yelling at me that I'm going to be late for school and I haven't fed the pigs yet. Can you imagine, the future king shovelling out a pigsty? And if I ever complain to uncle about such work being below my noble status, he just tells me to get my noble butt out to the barn and feed the cows, do I think the farm runs itself?
But don't worry, when I come into my own, I'll be magnanimous. I'll bring my uncle along to the palace ... to clean the roayl stables! Oh, sorry, gotta go.
Posted by micmcd (Member # 7977) on :
Does anybody else agree that you don't look like your parents? Or do you have a picture/painting of them? I don't mean to cast doubt on what you say - I was just wondering if the others- the more generally skeptical people, would agree with you on at least that much.
Something that may help with the Quest people - do you by any chance resemble any of the royals?
Posted by satate (Member # 8082) on :
Swift here, Ha ha ha ha, oh Jerome you're funny. I've never met a pig farmer as pompus as you. Do the pigs all kneel when you enter? I bet they do. Wake up and smell the dung my little self absorbed prick. Don't take it too bad. I really do like you. Hey! If I become queen how about I make you my court jester?
[This message has been edited by satate (edited November 14, 2008).]
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
In response to Swift's snottiness: Pompous? I don't think it's pompous to know who you are. I will not allow your plebian opinions to bring me down. You think this is easy, knowing your destiny, your inherent self-worth, when everyone around you is trying to bring you down? I am a pig farmer now, but all this good experience will make me a well-rounded, thoughtful ruler, one who understands the pain of the masses, when I ascend to my birthright. BTW, where do you live? I think it's important to know your friends, and conversely (and unfortunately for you) your enemies.
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
to micmcd: Well, it's not so much that they say that I don't look like them, but that I don't act like them. I carry myself with a different air; a certain sense of self, that they never really showed. They were always self-deprecating ...
... sorry, I gotta go. I'm an hour late getting home and my odious chores ...
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
Back again. my uncle's looking for me in the lower pasture, and I'm hiding out in the hayloft. Yeah, well, Aunt Gertie says I have my Mom's chin, and Uncle says my bowlegs are from the Sullins side, but that's just in spite since he never approved of my mom marrying into that family. And no on e in my family has the birthmark. I think it was the birthmark that finally convinced me. The one on my toe that's next to my big toe. What's that toe called anyway? So many holes in my education. That's why I need to leave soon. I've learned all the life lessons I can get out of this two goat village.
Posted by jnicoll (Member # 8257) on :
Hey Swift, I just finally got a good look at you. Want to join up with me in joining The Quest (TM)? I'm sure they could use a good thief. Plus, when I'm king, you know, I'll need people like you. It's important to have spies, and thieves hear all sorts of things.
You look like you're really in good, um, shape, so I bet you'd be great on the team. What do you say? I'm leaving tomorrow night. Oh, if you do decide to come nick some food while you're at it, I haven't quite rounded up what I'll need for the journey.